stop being scared

I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of, I just know that I walk around with a fear deep down inside. It keeps me from sleeping, relaxing,and really living the life that I want. I’ve started asking myself, “what are you so afraid of?” I’ll post an answer when i can name it. Then I can work on overcoming it.

I recently travelled overseas for the first time, but all of the things I wanted to do I was too scared to do. I was so frustrated with all the boring touristy stuff yet I couldnt get up the nerve to do my own thing. It wasnt just travel that scared me either. Everything unknown scares the crap out of me. Its actually physically debilitating. I shiver and shake. i cant sleep. Thankfully, I’ve realised that the more I put myself out there, the less of a hold fear has on me. Slowly, I am feeling more capable.

I need to stop being scared of rejection. I never try anything that might end badly, and it needs to stop. When I’m sitting back and reflecting on something that happened and how I felt about it, I always realized I didn’t do something I should have done. Gotta stop doing that!

I wanted to statr working on thi, REALLY working on this, and it made me sit back and think, really, why am I so scared? What is so scary out there that I need to write this down in order to work on it?

At first, I thought was afraid of failure. But I have “failed” (by my definition) at many things in life, and been able to kepe on plugging along no big deal. Surely it is dissapoining to not succeed at soemthing that you want, but it’s not the end of the world..

Concern over what others thought? Being laughed at? Looked at differently? None of these things are all that important to me….

I realized after a lot of thinking that it is my heart that is afraid. It has been hrut many times, and I’m tired of it. I guess to stop being scared, I have to be more vulnerable, and THAT is a scary thought to me…to open my heart up, to peopole, ideas, etc., and know that there is apossibilty that I won’t meet my goal, that Iwon’t be up to the challenge. So I figure, I need a new way of looking at failure…..to change a “failure” into “that was great!”

So last week, I did something that was VERY scary (for me). I did it knowing that I could be upset, hurt, embarassed, and it was terrifying. And afterwards, I looked at my frfiend, and I said, you know what…I am very proud of me. Enough said. :)

When you learn to trust yourself, you learn to trust in life, and you stop being scared of things…developing a relationship with your self and learning to love your self leads to this… it is not easy…but very worth it.

I’m good when it comes to older people but with people of my own age (especially the opposite sex) I freeze up. I’m terrified of meeting new people and I know i’m very hard to get to know. I just get so nervous that I come across as arrogant when in actual fact out i’m scared to death of doing something wrong in front of them. I’m stating university soon + I don’t know anyone there, i’m petrified

i’m a realist in such that it makes me a ‘problem-solver’ in nature. i take it too far, though. my distrust in others has made me scared of being vulnerable whatsoever. so i don’t. i need to put myself out there and allow myself to potentially get hurt because it’s worth it. i don’t know what i’m so scared of, it’s clearly not the end of the world.

And start living.

An unattainable goal . . . but nothing else will happen for me until I can learn to deal with myself

i am afraid of way too much. i wanna be brave.