be celibate

Keeping my mind and body out of trouble, the trouble than can accompany sexual activity. Good for discipline, plus it makes me feel really human, as we are the ones who can override body with mind. Its really nice to not have any pregnancy, disease, reputation, or regret worries. Not too mention avoiding possible attachment/rejection or being used/abuse issues that can also come along with that behavior. The real challenge will be when/if I enter a serious relationship. What then? Who knows, but until then, doing well being celibate~

I think it will be character-building and improve my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Defined by myself and my actions and not by who I’m with. Concerned with myself and my actions and doing the next right thing instead of who is interested in me, who is looking at me, who lusts after me. I think that relationships are great, I just don’t think I’m ready for one, and I’m not willing to have sex-without-relationship anymore. I value myself more than that.

I want to do this because Im tired of meeting guys that dont want anything out of a relationship. I want someone that will love me forever, not just expecting great sex before he can commit. I want someone that wants a future, not necessarily marriage, but wants me as a soulmate.
I’ve heard from so many guys that they could never make a woman their wife unless they know she will be able to satisfy them physically. Well I say, “if you cant wait, or you dont want a Long Term relationhip, then you should move on the next easiest target”

I’m proud of myself for doing this. It was important for me to learn how to be by myself for awhile, and I’d say that I did well. I do think it’s time, however, for me to move forward with my life and try being intimate with another person again. Thanks for the support!

is about to get some like a mofo because he earned it.
Yeah I said it.

Now it’s just a little over 5 months and I feel better about this decision all the time!

So on day 90, I kind of blew it.

At the same time, I didn’t blow it. The reason I was celibate in the first place was because I got sick of giving my body to losers. Guys who really don’t give a damn to know me past what I look like with my clothes off. Guys who really didn’t know me—or care to. Loser types. You get it.

The new guy not only likes my body but he likes my mind. I know if I sleep with him I’ll see him tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. We can just lay in bed fully clothed in silence and he is fine with that. He doesn’t just want to screw, he wants to know everything about me. He wants to know how my day was. He wants to know how school was. He wants to know what makes me happy. And when he knows what that is he does it without me asking. He enjoys intimacy as well as sex.

I didn’t last 180 days not because I was weak. I didn’t last because the type of person I said I would give my body to happened to come along before then. I consider this goal done because it achieved what I was trying to do: to make much better choices about who I give myself to.

This is the protocol that is going to happen from now on. No man even gets to touch my arm unless they are willing to treat me with the utmost respect and do the work necessary.

I had a dream I shirked on my celibacy promise for a guy who had a wife. After I slept with him he told me he was married and didn’t want to be with me. Before I slept with him he gave me a bunch of jibber jabber about how much he loved me and wanted to be with me.

I’m not sure what this dream is symbolic of, since I wouldn’t dare knowingly sleep with a married man. Maybe it my dream is telling me how much I need to stick to the goal?

Today is 87

Horny as hell today. Ridiculous. Lucky I’m at school where I can’t do anything about it. Not even chanting got rid of it. Gonna be a long day.

I never said I don’t have the urge every now and then…

I can’t remember what day today is. I think it’s 84.

A few weeks ago I met a guy. I’ve been hanging out with him the past few weeks and he has been nothing but respectful. Perfect gentleman. Cute too.

He also respects the reasons behind and my decision to be celibate for a while which is a bonus.

See what happens when you stop fucking stupid people?