make healthy choices

she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was horrid!
This nursery rhyme could have been written about me while the tumor kept growing in my brain.

I have been talking with my best friend in Texas about some things that are affecting her life the past few days. Yesterday she brought up how “crazy” I was before they found my brain tumor. It is humorous in hindsight but while we were experiencing the effects of the tumor it was terrifying for those around me. I was oblivious because I had no memories of acting up. The tumor was on the temporal lobe that affected everything I said and did.

I had forgotten how bizarre my actions actually were and how frightened the people who love me were for at least 3 years. Then there was the long recovery from the pulmonary emboli and the constant fear of losing me to DVT.

This walk down memory lane was an eye opener for the reasons my sons and friends think I am much healthier here and should stay.

Have to admit the life style here is less stress overall and the air is clear…they may be right afterall.

in a few weeks. A friend from here is moving to Houston. She has been in the mortgage business here in the wilderness for the past 15 years. Her business has been decimated in the meltdown so she is moving to Texas.

She called to let me know I could share the U-haul and go home if I want to….she will be out of here in about 2-3 weeks.

A few weeks ago I would have already been packed. Should I go or should I stay and see if my new advertising venture will fly?

I just want to go home. I talk to my children and grandchildren on the phone but it has been 2 1/2 years since I have seen them and been able to hug them! For some people that is fine but for me it is an eternity in hell.

Mindful that I am healthier here what is the point if I am miserable?

My interest in things had dwindled down to nothing…all I wanted to do was sleep or watch TV. A person can only take so much rejection and negativity.

An aquaintance who has become a new friend is making a huge difference in my attitude. We are the same age and have a lot in common. We like the same types of things. She and I both grew up in the wilderness went to the city and came home. We are both entreprenuers.

She is pretty much a whirlwind and with her encouragement I have made myself accept invitations to do new things and have “face-time” with others here instead of always talking about going home. In other words…connect and commit to my life and not worry so much what others think.

She is also going through hard economic times with her company but she isn’t letting her adversity destroy the joy in her life.

She went to the chili cook-off with me yesterday…on the way home she was telling me that she just can’t sit still and do nothing so she wanted to go by the yarn store because she is knitting scarves as gifts for Christmas this year. I laughed and told her I tried knitting as a child and took up crochet instead.

We spent hours looking at all the beautiful threads and yarns…knitting has come a long way from when I was young!

She bought some beautiful combinations and we headed to her house…all along the way she was assuring me how easy it was to make these scarves. She has drawers full because they are her signature item….she makes special scarves for her special outfits.

I spent the next 1 1/2 hours learning to knit…making mistakes and she encouraging me that was ok…I didn’t need to start over everytime I messed up a stitch…

I came home with joy in my heart, a bag full of different yarns and a practice set of needles so I can experiment.

I’m glad I answered her call when she reached out to be my friend.:)

That’s the phrase for today. My youngest son called to check on me…we are close and he was telling me about his work hours. Due to the recent rain in Texas he has been working mandatory overtime 7 days a week for the past 3 weeks.

He also coaches my granddaughter’s soccer team…so he has worked with his boss to make certain he can make the practices and games.

I taught my sons family comes first…luckily his boss has our same values.

Another reminder of why am I across the country from them?

the coming of my ship
That’s sailing onward through some unknown sea,
But build myself a craft, and through the drip
I’ll go a-sailing outward, sturdily,
Until I reach the ports where I shall find
The cargoes other folks are waiting for,
And gather in what gain the tide and wind
Hold for the wight that dares to leave the shore.

John Kendrick Bangs

when I wandered away from the housing industry was the 6 months I worked for an event planner/caterer in Fort Worth. This job combined all of my passions and talents.

It was fun to go to work everyday and help others plan the celebrations of their lives. The problem was she only paid me $8 an hour to learn this career. I couldn’t make my bills on that so I ran back to mortgage lending!

Last night I remembered those fun times when I was helping my friend with the details of the wedding brunch she is giving to her editor of her magazine this coming Sunday morning. She was frazzled! I was delighted.

Hmmm…maybe this has been the plan all along…I’ve just done it for free all of my life. :)

I’d make life a party! I’d plan and cater to all of the celebrations that make us happy. I’d make sure that everyone I meet leaves the celebration with a smile on their face!

Yeppers, if I could do anything…that is what I would do!

Stress has finally caught up with me to the point all I want to do today is write and sleep. Don’t want to talk to or see anyone in the real world.

That is not a healthy sign…

if I were to go back into mortgage lending? I have interviewed with 2 local mortgage lenders this week. We all have the same products. We all have the same commitment to excellence.

Hmmm…the biggest question is do I still have a passion for this business or has it’s season passed for me?