let her go

For a time in life I had nothing and only truly cared about one thing. I grew a huge dependency for this one thing that was providing me happiness and i invested too much in that thing. That thing was this girl and now that girl is gone. I see now that it wasn’t her that im trying to get over now. I had this problem before, and now i think the source of my dependency was not even that she was good for me, but the fact that i was so lonely. I have tons of friends and my family is okay, but i just can’t help but feeling lonely when im not with someone. But i do love her… i just don’t want to anymore because she can’t be with someone with such a dependency on her.

It’s harder than it looks.

I think the key is to keep busy: Stay on the move and keep moving forward. Throw out all that clutter that’s jamming you up. Live simply. Definitely work out.

Once you stop doing those things, you start looking back again. You notice that you’re lonely (even though you might have been lonely while you were in the relationship). You feel like you’re getting nowhere.

Just keep moving forward.

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue
For all my life

in my life.

I would like for this trail of tears to end.

I have to take action.
I CAN be alone.
I have to get my house in order.

Ain’t no future in the past.

this works as well as anything else:

“don’t look back.”

We talked, we spent time out, we spent time alone, she wants us to be together.
Time to relax, come to earth, do other stuff.
Not push but let show their place…

i’m not a husband anymore.

i don’t know who i am.

...avoid it like a bad habit.

the tears are pretty much over. once in a while a sob, but i catch myself. i’m numb and i think i’m slippin back into denial again.

i’m unsure how i should feel about it.

...feel 12 different ways.

so for now, i’m just “making steps forward…”