be more positive

... in my 43things list.
I was done for a while, but I’ve noticed that I haven’t been that positive lately. I find myself being very critical again, somewhat cynical, pessimistic… Time to be more positive again! See the beauty in life, and enjoy it! Life’s too short to be negative and pessimistic.
So note to self: Be more positive! Smile!

Any help or inspiration would be welcomed. I need to find my fun side and be happier.

bad for this goal. I’ve been cranky and frustrated at work, and as a result I’ve been entirely too negative with everyone – venting too much about other people, annoying situations, etc. This coming week I’m going to try to stop complaining so much so I can improve my spirits from the outside in.

I’m not a false person so when I am down it tends to show until I snap out of it. But considering the amount of stuff I’ve been through this past year I’m not doing too bad and honestly believe things will get where I want them to be in the not so distant future.

What really frustrates me are when people try to out-down you when theres nothing actually wrong with them. But looking to the future helps, and not letting those who have a habit of imposing their negative comments on me, have a big effect on my own thoughts.

Being positive is going to help me complete far more goals then being the opposite and success is the only real way to have one up on those who try to put me down.

I feel ill and have a busy day ahead, but I’m still managing to feel quite good and get on with things. It’s just a cold after all. :)

okay.
this is definitely not going well.
it’s a lot harder than you’d think.
when, i was younger, i was always super happy & positive.
starting in 7th grade on, i’ve become a lot more sad…

Tried to find positive quotes on the net yesterday but a lot of them were really sickly. If anyone knows good places to find positive quotes, it would be appreciated!

So, this isn’t going to well.
I am naturally kind of a downer, I guess.
This is just one other thing I’m destined to fail in.
I just don’t think I am cut out for it.
Ha, kidding.
But seriously, I’m not doing that great.
I do have hope that I can change though.
Wish me luck.
I hope you all are doing well!

Especially sometimes like now.

Someone I trust just told me something that my mom said. Now I know the saying, “What he said she said probably shouldn’t be said.” However, she told me that my mom loves me and Annie to death but can’t handle the stress that we cause anymore. That hurts, in ways I can’t describe. I’ve been feeling more and more hurt and resentful by and at my parents recently and I don’t like it. Stress on them? What about the stress on me?

I hate to be all poor me, but lets look at this. I am VERY grateful to my parents for taking me in and letting me live here rent free. Heck, they even let me eat their food. But let’s not forget, when I have the money I pick up the essentials at work. I pay for the phone bill, which they both use more than me. I do almost all of the housework. I even take care of the stupid dog that my mom just HAD to have. Whatever. And you know what, I’ll throw it out there, I took custody of my three month old niece with a promise from my whole family that they would help. Whatever again.

They’ve been nothing but impatient with her. And spoiling her. Picking her up and giving her what she wants when she’s crying. I don’t need that. Not to mention, lecturing me as if I’m a teenager for reasons I have yet to understand.

Do they REALLY think that I want to be a single mother at 25, working a dead end job and living with my parents? Barely able to take care of my self and be independent? Hell no I don’t. If I knew it wouldn’t hurt Annie as much as it would, I would contemplate letting her father have custody of her. But it would hurt her too much. And it would hurt me.

I’m so broken right now. So hurt. I don’t even know what to think. I’m sick of being treated like a child. I’m sick of living this life. I hate being stuck in this depressed little rut that I’m in.

I want out and I have no idea how to accomplish that. NO IDEA! If I could do it over again, I would change so much. And I hate saying that. Because at 25, I shouldn’t have as many regrets that I do. And I can’t get passed that, though I should be able to. I can’t.

And this new light in my life, whether it be true or not (which it probably is, because I know my mother), helps me NOT be more positive. Actually, it does the exact opposite.

Thanks for letting me gripe for a while. It helped me not break into tears.

I’m a very negative person. I can pretend for a while with others, but I feel like a sell out and fakey, I want to be more positive, which in that way will make more happier in general, and more fun to be around!