be more accepting and compassionate while being less judgemental towards peoples behavior

Can a person be both unaware of what they are doing and self-absorbed at the same time? Or does being self-absorbed make you unaware?

For example:
-My lovely slamming neighbor at home. Is she too busy thinking about things she needs to do and things she wishes were different (like living in a house instead of a condo) that she doesn’t realize she’s slamming every single door and drawer she closes?
-My lovely nail clicking on the desk neighbor at work. For about 3 weeks now she’s been drumming/clicking her nails loudly on the desk, constantly. Finally, yesterday I said something to her when we were both standing at the copy machine and she started doing it. She laughed…so apparently she thinks its funny and she’s still doing it. She’s in her 40’s and I swear she acts about 14 sometimes.

Maybe I shouldn’t waste energy on trying to figure some people out and just try to work on not letting these things bother me…because, if I let them, they will drive me to the point of insanity! It’s either my emotions running away from me or me being a Highly Sensitive Person (especially when it comes to sounds) or both.

The holidays seem to bring out the worst in people, at least on the roads of Michigan. People cutting other people off, tailgating…basically just trying to plow their way threw because they must think they are more important than anyone else. I have been keeping my eyes open trying to spot the nice things people do and sadly I have only seen a few. There seems to be more mean, selfish and extremely impatient people here than there are nice, considerate and patient people.

So I don’t know if this is just my judgemental perception or if Michigan just has alot of jerks. It’s not just on the roads but that’s where I see it the most. I wish I could just ignore it and not get all worked up by someone acting like a jerk to me or someone else. I’m hoping my new positive self-talk will help with this.