I always have to worry about everything and I am so afraid. One day I want to be free of this.
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It’s kind of like I’m crazy or something. I realize that I have to be alone here…alone as in, no family members living with me. I’M ONLY 17! I’m terrified. I’m going to miss my family, but I can’t go with them. There’s no way that I can. And Collin, my boyfriend, doesn’t have any idea what’s going on. He knows that I’m moving and going to get some roomies…but that’s about it. He doesn’t know that I can’t be with him during all of this. I just can’t considering all the stress I’m going to be under. And besides, he lied to me. BUT IM TERRIFIED! I don’t know what I’m going to do..
life in general is scary. there are a few big things that can get to me like money situations, being loved knowing i distance myself from people, meeting new people. but, this is stupid, i hate rollercoasters. that is the one thing that actually scare the crap out of me. i dont trust them. not being able to control this little tiny cart with no way of knowing what the outcome is going to be. its just like being in a car sort of but at least if something goes wrong i can take the blame or something.


