I have been thinking about boundaries lately. I went on a hike today and I realize that boundaries are put on everything we do, say, feel, breathe, want in our lives since we first come into this world. Pushing boundaries sets us apart from everything and everyone. Pushing those lines makes you stand out and that takes alot of strength, which I believe is why most dont, they just stay within their lines and judge those who dont stay within their confines.
I realize I am bored with people and my life the way it is currently. I am bored with what people talk about and more interested in what people dont talk about. I have looked at my life as it continues on its treadmill effect and I want to get off, now. I want to meet people who can encourage me to want to be more than, think more than, believe more than. I dont know if there are people out there, who want to push boundaries of the mind and thier life, if so, let them enter my life.
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...scribbled in the cafe for the next writing class I suddenly noticed that the e-mail addresses of two of the people in the class meant that they actually worked in a very related organization to mine…. this made me rewrite some of what i had written to hide it more just in case the gossipers might get hold of it and think all their christmases had come at once…
I write fairly often I think, but not fiction, more my ideas, thoughts and feelings and always for myself rather than anyone else. So this new phenomena of writing fiction to read out to others suddenly raised the stakes alot in terms of realizing that writing the truth was now harder as can I pass it off as just fiction…
anyway I think the next thing to add in is to go to a few life drawing sessions as I love drawing people having one day just flipped my mind into drawing what I see rather than what I conceive and being amazed at the sudden improvement. A friend of mine paints and draws and so hopefully this will happen. What I would love to do next also is learn to paint with the plane rather than draw with the line as a whole new world of ideas and seeing things. but all just for fun and self-expression and maybe to meet new people.
expand the horizons, leap into the unknown, and such like.
The goal has more a tone than an aim, a way of life perhaps rather than an achievement, a certain mental attitude. In fact I have done this before, but a while ago. For a year or so i just followed my heart after following my mind for a while as an experiment, now there is a good cooperation.
however anyway, the goal is to do new things perhaps, not in working life where I have really dared for me at least, but in life itself, where actually I have dared but would like to do more as I have become lazy in some way, but only because I have been incapacitated by love for the most beautiful woman on earth … which is a natural consequence of following your heart and being in the right place at the right time, but unfortunately it might never happen, but I will try.
what first ? well i think i will do something that sounds quite quiet but could be good anyway, I will go to a writing evening class, just for fun and maybe meet some new people. The flaw in the plan is that it is in the evening directly after work and involves a train journey, but if not this then will find another.
