leave everything behind

I have been thinking about leaving everything behind and finding myself a new life… I don’t want to avoid problems, I just want to provoke something in my life to make it more interesting. I am now 33 and I think I just realized that things won’t come to me!!! I’ve always been very nice to others, very comprehensive and helpful. I was hoping these character traits would somehow give me ‘good karma’ or whatever so that GREAT things would come to me and fill up my life with satisfaction… pppfffff yeah right!!! I am sick and tired of being passive about it all… I want to be active, release myself from everyday clutter and go see where I can find who and what I am meant to be…. Because it sure ain’t working around here! My life is ok, but I want it to be more than ok!!! I want it to be fulfilling and exciting, challenging and rewarding! I simply want to live and stop surviving… I may come back to this city afterwards, but at least I will have lived a part of my life with nothing more than a car, a few CD’s and some clothes of course…

I have accumulated SO MANY THINGS in the last 13 years (since I moved out of my parents house). And more than 90% of these things I never touch nor look at… So why am I keeping these things??? I feel heavy having all this around me, and I want to live the ‘light’ life for a while!!!

In april I will have my degree to be a teacher… and if there is one thing that every town in the world needs is a teacher. So I am not worried about finding work here and there… Hell, I could even do odd jobs and learn stuff… Like gardening, renovations, etc…

I am not sure what the outcome will be, but I have to give it a try!!! I have noticed in life that great things happen to those who go out looking for them… I am a guy who has lived most of his life in fear… I am scared… But I have to do this!!! I want to jump in empty space and have wings grow out of necessity!

I want this…
I need this…
I can do this!

This would probly be the hardest thing to do. Leave everything mean giving up alot, though i think the experiences that i would take away from something like this would be well worth it. With that one day i will wake up and walk away from everything and not look back, and just end up somewhere, somewhere that in someway is the place i was ment to be.

i want to leave san diego.
i hate it. :(

someday…..someday this WILL happen.
:)

just up and leave everything behing make a new begining my life now is really bad and i cant take much more i try to stay strong but i cant i just to give up and get the ones i care the most out of my life that sound crazy but its not i am starting to care to much and they have hurt my so bad that i have nothing left inside so i think if i left those people all of those people behind it might close up those wonds but i dont know if it will but im willing to try anything at this point.

It would be very exciting to leave everything behind for a year and travel, picking up small jobs where ever I land. I guy from work did this, he took a year out to travel Australia. He never came back. I would be scared of finding a better life and never coming back, or coming back and regretting it.