remember stories from my past and share them

I remember in about 3rd grade my grandmother and aunt sent me this stocking cap with big bird (The bright yellow seasme street bird) on top of it. I remember telling mom ‘there is no way I’m wearing that’ and she smiled, but then it got cold and for whatever reason I had a heavy coat without a hood and mom said I had to wear the big bird hat. I cried…I mean for a pre school age kid maybe, but 3rd grade?!? So finally I put it on and slowly started walking to the bus stop. As soon as I thought I was out of sight I took it off, then heard this “Dana put that hat back on!”

Moms are everywhere and see everything! I took it off as soon as I got on the bus…Thankfully no one saw it! The next day mom got me a different hat. Mom’s are wonderful magical creatures aren’t they? :-)

I am sure I am showing my age a bit here…but I have to share a story about New Kids on The Block. I hear they are touring again so that is what triggered this..

My best friend in High School, Kelly, and I took our first road trip to see ‘the kids’ at a state fair, I was 16. My mother was worried sick about the long 2 1/2 drive. kelly and I were SUPER excited about this defining moment of trust. It wasn’t just about seeing our band, it was the fact that our parents trusted us to drive that far alone…we had a taste of freedom.

We wore matching NKOTB tees, white ones with a photo of the band on them. We laughed til our sides hurt. We got there and actually found it silly – we were just about the oldest ones there! We started to laugh and joke about it all..I still laugh thinking about that night.

It all changed on the way home though. It started to pour down rain; a storm like no other I had ever seen. We were driving and could not see anything in front of us. So I decided to pull over on the side of the road, like a good girl, like my mother had always told me. WELL…there was a truck already pulled over…I didn’t see him…we ran right into him. We sat there in shock. All of a sudden the man from the truck was at my window. I cracked the window (being afraid of strangers) and he asked if we were alright and we started crying. I was not hurt, I was scared what my mom would say…what my dad would say to her and to I…(My parents were divorced earlier that year so I knew it would an even bigger deal!)

The man was very nice, standing in the pouring rain trying to get us to stop crying…finally he left and went to the police. His truck was hardly dented…my car on the other hand was not drivable, a little Nissan. The hood was bent and the front end was pushed into the motor. Finally Kelly and I ventured up a steep muddy hill to a hotel to use the phone and call our parents.

That is how the curse of NKOTB began…oh and this was the day before school started. So we were very very tired the first day of school that year!

So a few weeks later we had ‘spirit’ week and one of the days we could dress like ‘twins’ SO of course Kelly and I decide to wear our NKOTB tees…during cmputer class Kelly was telling the story of our crash, showing everyone that knot still visible on her knee…she got a bit excited about it and her elbow somehow found my nose…yep my one and only bloody nose was from my best friend. Needless to say I had blood all over my white NKOTB shirt…Long story short…Kelly and I never wore our tees again. She felt sooo bad…I can laugh about it today! I wonder how she is doing.

My cousin Melissa (or missy as I always called her) lived with my parents and I for a bit when I was about 8 or 9. She was a year younger than me. My dad’s brother was her father. He passed away when we were both young. For a bit we were very close. Even when she did not stay with us we were around one another a lot.

Missy and her mother moved to OR when we were still pretty young, maybe 11 or 12. I did not hear from her for a long time. We finally exchanged letters here and there in our early 20s. She lived a very different life than me. And she had a hard time talking to me because my father’s side of the family had pretty much forgotten her. Not my father, but his mother and other siblings.

My father looked a lot like her father. She adored him. But it was hard for her to see him or be around him.

I remember the call from my mother about 4 or 5 years ago telling me Missy had died. It was such a strange feeling. We were told she died the same way her father did. Which I thought was sad. I had not talked to her for years, but always thought about her. When my father passed she was one person I thought of and wanted to tell.

Even though we lost touch I still have fun childhood memories of her and miss her. I think of her now and then of course, but last week I dreamed about her. She was in a crowd, getting ready to walk by me I wasn’t sure if it was her, the dream felt so real. I knew it couldn’t be, but it looked so much like her. Someone behind me asked her name and she said Melissa. I turned around and tried to catch her and ask her last name, but she faded into the crowd…

I sometimes think maybe the phone call my mother got was mistaken and she’s still with us and one day we’ll be able to catch up. She had a daughter that I have never seen in person, she must be 16 or so now. I don’t have contact information for her, but I would love to share some memories of my cousin, her mother, with her.

My friend Angie and I met when we were about 14. She moved to my hometown, and my aunt worked with her father and introduced us. We spent the entire summer together. We walked to each others house, had slumber parties, walked the entire small town. We shared a lot of laugher!

She heard my father singing one day. He would goof around and sing oldies from time to time. I remember her face…she got real quiet and was like “who is that?!” When I told her it was dad she was shocked. I remember her saying “He’s good!” she repeated that a few times.

From that point on every time she saw dad she would ask him to sing. I never really listened to my father’s voice until Angie truly brought it to my attention. He did have a wonderful voice. He would sing a lot of songs from the 50’s. He loved the oldies. He sang the songs well; his voice matched them well.

I remember standing up next to him in the car while he was driving (yes this was in the 70’s before all the regulations and seat belt laws). He would sing the song White Lightning (an old country song) and there was a part in the song that went “shhoooooh” right before the white lightning line. The ‘shhhooooh’ part was my line. Dad would sing the rest then point to me for my part.

I can’t believe I remember that. I had to be about 2 or 3 maybe.

I think the song Angie first heard him sing was ‘American Pie’...you know …”So, bye, bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die This’ll be the day that I die”

Memories are nice aren’t they? :-)

This past weekend I was talking about my trip to DC and how that was my only trip East (passed TN). Then I started thinking of a trip with my father when he said to me “Look over there, you see that tall building? That is where King Kong fell from.” I must have been about 5 maybe. After I thought about that and how that had to be NY, I asked my mom this past weekend about it. She said we did go with my father some when he drove a big truck. We went to NY, NJ, and PA. I started to remember it even more! I had just turned 5 and dad didn’t have time to stop in NY, but as we drove through he called me up front and I was all bent down looking and looking out his window. I remember smiling and telling him “yes yes I see it I see it”.

See we had seen the King Kong movie and I cried and cried, it was a big deal (mom had to take me out of the theatre) lol. Anyway so this was a big deal to me to see this building and have dad point it out to me.

Mom said we got stuck in a small town in PA, she thinks it was Somerset, for three days while they ordered a new tire for the truck. Anyway mom was telling me how she and I walked around (we had no money so everything we always did was free). Mom would say things like “no look, really look and take it all in; the trees, the colors, the flowers.” I’d look around and point out certain flowers, etc. It was so cute to see mom do an impression of me. The way I would smile would real big, tighten my shoulders, close my eyes. She said when I did that she KNEW I was super excited. Hell I think I STILL do that! :-)

I barely remember the PA stay, but it was so nice talking to her about it. Hearing it from her. I totally know where I got my ‘little things really matter’ attitude from! She focused on the free things and shared them with me since before I can even remember.

It’s hard to believe that on April 26th it will be 2 years since my father passed. Two years. They have been busy years. Some tears, laughs, questions, decisions,... A roller coaster ride at times. I’m thankful for the growth and opportunities I have had the past 2 years. Thankful for the places I have seen and almost seen. It’s amazing how much can change in two years and how much can seem and/or be the same. I still have my father’s email in my address book, can’t seem to bring myself to delete it just yet.

I like to eat “two fruits” from a tub/tin/can.
I ate them for my afternoon tea today, which is what reminded me of this story!

When I was in year 9 or 10 at school, in summer I liked to keep them in the freezer, and then put them in my lunch box. By lunch time they’d be defrosted, but still cold.

I must have been doing this for at least two weeks, when I asked my group of friends- “what are the two fruits in “two fruits?”. My friend Kristin laughed so hard she almost fell off the seat- she couldn’t believe I didn’t know! There were other people who didn’t know, but their excuse was that they hadn’t eaten them…

Anyway, I eventually worked out that the two fruits were pear and peach. They taste somehow different when they’re mixed together… that’s my excuse!

It’s strange, I have thought about my father passing away the past month (last month was a year since he passed away) and how he was the last year of his life. I had focused (and been thankful) for those last few months my sister and I had with him. Those memories are what have filled my head. But last night I had to smile while my eyes teared up on my drive home.

I was not able to take the first exit to my house that I normally take on my drive home from work because of traffic (couldn’t get over). So I drove to the next exit which I had not taken in a long time. And as I saw the exit sign a memory rushed in my head.

The second exit splits, one way says “St. Louis” another is the way to my home. When I was about 4 or 5 I lived in a house behind where I live now for about a year. I remember one day my father and I were driving home and took that second exit. He looked at me and said “Honey lets take off and drive to St. Louis, we won’t tell anyone.” I remember this with a smile and tears. I looked up at him and said “Ok daddy, yeah lets go,” in my most excited voice. A brief pause…”We can’t sweetie, we couldn’t leave and not tell anyone.” I don’t think he expected my excited answer. “Maybe another day, ok sweetie?”

I remember that feeling as if it were yesterday. Even though we didn’t go it was this moment only we shared. No one else knew about it. Nothing mattered, no money issues, no stress, no lack of time, etc. It was a moment I shared with my father. One of the earliest memories I have of him.

I think that moment defined me in some way. Maybe my sense of wonder or something. I always admired my father following through with his dreams, even if they did not last long like the plane he bought (that we could not afford) for a summer and flew me and my friends around in (and anyone who would go with him) even if it was just for a summer it was still a dream he made come true.

This memory rush made me think of a few others too. Those laughs my father and I shared might not have been the majority of my childhood memories but they still make me smile and appreciate them. Like the Rolling Stones concert we went to and had the tallest guy I had even seen (and topped off with a cowboy hat) sit in front of my dad (who was a man of about 5’7” with shoulders that belonged on a much taller man) my dad laughed out loud and said “well would you look at this bullshit”. Eventually the man realized what happend, shared in the laughter and changed seats with someone, it was a cool moment. There are more but that is enough for now! :-)

In high school my best friend was a guy, Mike. For about 2 years we were together all the time, we went out on the weekends, met up after school, had lunch together, etc. He dated another good friend of mine for awhile. I dated someone during that time too. We went Christmas shopping together for our boy/girl friend. He made me laugh so hard. He was sooo fun to be around, yet we never tried to be more than friends and I think that is what made it so special. He never once ‘asked me out’. He treated me like a best friend, talked to me about serious stuff and joked around with me like one of the guys. I treated him like a big brother.

After high school we lost contact. Then about 3 years after grad he came into a job I was working (I worked for a police dept and he had gotten a ticket). I was shocked, he was all grown up! Not that tall skinny boy anymore. We made some small talk and then he left. It was strange..we had been so close at one time and in a matter of 5 minutes we had caught up on the past 3 years. That was the last time I saw Mike.

I’m glad we had that time in high school, but it’s weird how someone that shared so much of your time and youth can then seem like a stranger… My high school years would have been very dull without him though!

I had a friend in 2nd grade, Wendy, that would always bring her strawberry shortcake dolls to school and we’d play during recess. I only had one doll (parents were far from rich) and she had the whole collection, the dolls, the accessories, everything.
Even though it was nice playing with her dolls I never asked my mother for more than my one doll… Sometimes it’s nice in life when you have friends that share things and allow you to enjoy them but not envy them.

I remember my mother and I making a valentine’s day box together. Our 3rd grade teacher said we had to have a container to hold all our cards in during the exchange.

The box was a shoe box I think. And we covered it with pink construction paper and red hearts and white heart shaped lace cutouts. It was awesome. My mother put so much time into it. Then I helped glue things on the box. I believe foil was involved too, she had put it under the construction paper and cut out hearts and they were silver because of the foil..

She was so creative then. I think some of it was the hippie in her the other factor was we didn’t have much money so we made a lot of things!

She had made me a clown picture to hang on my bedroom wall. She used an old piece of plywood from a table or something and melted crayons. It was so cool looking. I still have that picture…I need to look for the valentine box. Maybe this year we can make a new box… just for fun!