Stop being a compulsive liar

I realised that i lie to everyone i care about, perhaps with the intention of not hurting them initially. But the lies just come back, every time. im never going to lie to someone i care about again. It has cost me the women i love and the friends i care about.

I just can’t help but lie. And at this point I’m not even sure why, but all I know is I need help. For some reason I lied to everyone that I work with about things like my age, my sexuality and past work experience and just be reading other peoples post I’m beginning to think it may just be an attention thing (I can’t believe I never realised that earlier) the big question now is how do I stop?

i started out lying for attention when i was really young, but then i wanted my life to seem better so i would lie and now i can’t control it i promise to try

what can i say i fucking hate myself right now. today 09/09/09 I lost the only woman who ever loved me unconditionally b/c I’m a compulsive liar, not only that but one of my closest friends told me to take a fucking flying leap!

I know after reading that I am not alone. I dont understand why or how the lies started, but losing the love of my life, and my friend. I know I need help and thats the first step right? Knowing you have a problem. Now where does one go to seek such help?

My name is Adam and I have an illness. I am a compulsive liar! Some (infact) many people out there think that compulsive lying is just something that you will grow out of or it will go away with age and maturity. I am 27 years old and I can safely say that I have lied my way in and out of things for at least 15 of those years. I have lost relationship after relationship, friend after friend, job after job. For some peculiar reason that I cannot understand this lying has become a bold part of my day-to-day life and I am struggling to get rid of it. I lie to everyone about things which in my head seem to play out as ‘better’ than that of actual reality. So what I do is think up all of these things in my head first then I put them to the test. When I 1st started lying I was good at it and remember clearly being able to influence others and manipulating people such as teachers to believe every slippery word that was coming from my mouth. I did it with terrifying precision and ease, but when I met the girl of my dreams around this time last year…everything changed! Except me! The lies at 1st were being held at bay, but after 3 months of pure bliss with the girl I came to love in that short spurt of time everything crashed and began slowly to burn. I am a marijuana smoker and enjoy the odd sesh here and there (mostly at parties or gigs). My girlfriend (now ex) hates the stuff. Unfortunately she had a bad relationship in the past with a guy who used weed all day everyday and use to hit her, and go with other girls behind her back, so because of this she developed a huge hatred towards marijuana. Around the 2 month period she asked me whether I smoked pot. The lies then started back up again and I immediately said “no”. From here the chains began pulling her away from me and on 31st December 2008 she found my stash in a cupboard where I had forgotten to put it away. This was the day I broke her heart she tells me. I managed to win her back and she gave me a second chance. To cut a couple of stories short I continued lying about bullshit and frivolous things. She gave me 4 chances to change in total. All the time I thought that she just wanted me to stop smoking pot 100%, but as it turns out that was not the case. We are broken up now and trying to remain as friends. She told me recently that the reason behind the break up was because of my compulsive lying and manipulation and stories that I made up to cover my ass. She said that 90% of the time she knew that I was lying through my teeth and put up with it because she loved me and didn’t want to leave me, but after lying about things on the 4th chance she said that enough was enough and had no choice but to break up with me! I told her that I was eternally and forever sorry for the things I have done to upset and hurt her. I told her that I have huge difficulty in trying to control my lying. I told her everything. The conversation we had did not go well because after saying sorry to someone over and over again it becomes a dull and meaningless word. This was the case all because of my lying. There was no trust in the end and we have been apart for 3 weeks now and I am becoming more and more depressed. I am so much in love with her that it hurts to think about the complete and utter fuck ups that I have not only made to hurt her it hurts for me to even think about her, especially over the things that I have not been able to properly control. Just yesterday she sends me a text message asking if I was at work and if I wanted to meet up for lunch. I instantly lied to her by saying that I was at a conference with my job when in actual fact I was at home playing Wolfenstein on my computer on annual leave. She later texted me again saying that she went into the place I work and reception told her that I took the day off sick. Now you would think that I would have given up there, but no…instead I said “think what you want. I know where I am. You were simply misinformed by frontline reception staff”. The jig was up, and after I pushed send on my phone I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. A feeling of guilt and LIES! To this date she has not replied! I have done it again, and I don’t know why. Please can someone out there in the big wide world help me and others like us? I can’t go on living with an affliction like this – its terrifying to know that you can do things to cause such pain and anguish towards others and not see it coming. All I want to be able to do is conquer this and knock the lying on its head, get back with Sarah and live happily ever after…this is the dream!

i have lied for as long as i can remember about stupid little things usually to show myself in a better light or seem more interesting. I have recently come to realise how much this has held me back, cost me friends and destroyed an amazing relationship. i wish i could stop. recently i have not lied but only because i have not spoken to people. i have not had a conversation in 7 days i really dont want to live like this. what is really hurting at the minute is my ex now hates me and she sends abusive emails and laughs at me.still being in love with her and hearing how she feels about me has broken my heart

I have been lying through my teeth about various things for years, mostly I think because I was affraid what the truth might bring. I don’t know why I do it anymore, it’s like I can’t help myself. Sometimes I want to make my life more exciting so people don’t think I am a bore, and sometimes I just want to see what people will say. I am 30 years old now and I trully can’t put less than 10 years of lying down for myself. I’ve tried so many times to stop myself, but even when I swear to myself I will be honest before I know it, the lies are already falling from my lips, and it’s far too late to stop there. I don’t know that there is a way too help someone like me, I honestly think I will continue to ruin my life with my endless lies, even though I mean no harm. Many people have turned their backs on me for it, and some of my close friends just expect it from me now. Though that just depresses me all the more, because now I know I look as stupid as I feel for lying. So many people think of me as a joke now, and no one that really knows me takes me seriously. I’ve screwed up jobs, my relationship (with an amazing woman) and everything else that matters to me, yet I still can’t stop damaging all the people in my life and my life itself. I wish someone could help me, though I really don’t believe there’s help for someone like me anymore. A life full of lies is a lonely one.

I have been lying since my best friend died of leukemia last april. I am only 16. I lied and told everyone that I had cancer. I was with my friend the whole time and so I knew the symptoms medications scans the order of things. I was amazing at this lie. I had everybody wrapped around my finger. I still do. I know that by going out and admitting my lie that I will lose the ones I love. What should I do? I Don’t want to lie anymore but I dont want to just break out the truth and lose everyone. I’m broken and I need help. Please help me

I’ve been lying for about 7 years now. To the point it feels like when I lie it comes out natural. I’ve come to realize that this is not a good behavior and the only reason I keep doing it is because I’ve gotten caught but not bad enough, at least not enough for me to care. I got kicked out of school for lying, and was required to go to therapy. I went back and messed up again. This time I just quit before I really got in trouble. Now it’s affecting what I tell the love of my life. He’s great, but he being extremely smart and the fact that I’m not a bad person, he’s beginning to notice that I lie of certain things. The fact that he might not trust me, crushes me inside, because for the first time I do care about something. I just need help.

Ive been a compulsive liar pretty much my entire life, even for no reason. Sometimes I lie completely pointlessly and then fess up like 5 mins later, just because I felt the need to do it. I guess I just like to do things I’m good at. But no one trusts anything I say anymore, so I have to try and stop it. It’s very difficult though.