Keep in touch with old friends and make new friends

I found my cousin from NS on facebook and sent him a message. He wrote back right away. I know that I love my family in Nova Scotia, but I forgot how happy it makes me to hear from them.

I have offered to help plan our 15-year reunion next June. I haven’t gone to any of our reunions yet, so this should be interesting!

I started a Facebook account and re-connected with many of my old high school friends.

... with the exception of talking to my friend Jessica who is living across the country, so it can’t be avoided. This week I actually initiated 2 phone calls to old friends. I even enjoyed them, sort of. I also made another horse-obsessed friend. She’s going to adopt our retired race horse, and while getting to know him, she’s kind of become a fixture at the barn. It’s good to have her there, because she’s fun… and at some point I’ll get tired of her bullying me into riding and will actually learn how to do something other than shovel manure, clean harnesses, and bandage legs.

My granny called me this morning. We talked for a little while and then she asked me whether I was alright, she was afraid I might be lonely now that I’m living on my own and recent issues with my family have arisen.

And that hit home. I had the same thought popping up over and over again during the last couple of weeks. But it has an even bigger impact when someone else asks you. I don’t know whether I’d classify myself as lonely or whether it is the classification itself that scares me more than the actual fact, but this is scary business.

There was a time when I felt deeply rooted in myself and had no problems letting someone new enter my life but was excited about it. Now I simply feel scared. There’s times when I long for the intimacy of a relationship and long friendships but then again I get scared of letting someone in. Scared because I am afraid I might get hurt again like I did last year when my then-boyfriend of three years cheated on me and the world around me suddenly crumbled.

I don’t want to use this as an excuse and I don’t want it to even qualify as an excuse. The mere thought of that ‘experience’ still having an impact on my feelings infuriates and saddens me.

I still believe that there is a lot of love out there, be it in the form of friendships or relationships, but sometimes that belief waveres. And that’s when fear seeps in…

And at the moment I feel, I cannot do anything but observe. Maybe there’s a bit of another type of fear lurking as well. A fear that if I opened up and stepped out of the current known, I would be surprised by what awaits me and it could have the power to shake up my life. Maybe, just maybe…

I really miss having some female friends at the racetrack, like I did when I lived in Canada. I’m not sure if it’s because everyone is broke around here and in a terrible humor, or because the track is 100 years behind normal society when it comes to gender roles… for women, you basically are who you hook up with and unfortunately there aren’t very many attractive (let’s be honest, even bathed) males to go around… but the end result is that the women my age are vicious. However, there’s a very laid-back, hard-working, no-bullshit kind of girl named Ann that works at the track, and she offered to teach me to ride and help me jog if she starts working at Sam’s. Neither of us have proper riding horses, just some trotters that we hope won’t mind terribly… but it’s a start.

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I’ve been pretty consistent at doing this so I’ll take it off my list. I keep in close touch with many old friends all over the place and continue to make new friends. It’s an important part of my life.

hiiiiiiii

i want to do this i want to stay in touch with old friends and i really want to meet new friends if you are interested let me know females only.