health

me waqas here

I ran pretty regularly for about 30 minutes per day at least 3-5 days a week from ages 17 – 22ish. However, I began having panic attacks after 9/11 & I stopped feeling confident enough to go for a run alone, especially if I had to deal with cat calls.

I’m ready to face my fears & get out running again. I think the exercise will boost my ability to fight the panic naturally. I’m now married & have put on about 20 pounds, but not so much that I can’t get out for a run.

It may take a while to get back into the swing of it, but I want to see myself as “athletic” again. Also, I want to feel confident & healthy, even if I never weigh 130 pounds again (my weight as a 17 year old runner).

Been a hellish 3 weeks of scanning and prodding and
w a i t i n g.
Found out I’ve developed tumours in major organs but all are benign with one of them (the largest) disappearing entirely.
I am grateful but don’t get it.
Does this mean they turn bad sometime in the future?
Apparently not. So I have to get periodic checks to see if they’ve grown, but don’t worry, that doesn’t mean they’re cancerous. Can’t really cut them out either because of the problem of accidental internal bleeding.
So I just have to live with these lumps.

But I’m happier and am breathing a LOT easier.

Am in the middle of investigative procedures to find out why I’m feeling decidedly off , have in fact been illish for quite a while.
Not knowing what’s wrong and just trusting that I’ll get through this takes up quite a bit of my daily positive emotional quota.
Breathe I remind myself
Breathe in love.
Breathe out serenity.

swam 1km, walked/ran (well mostly walked) 20km, cycled 20km,
had a vigorous chinese massage, snuggled in bed with my new sci fi short stories book, ate healthily when hungry, juiced two vegetarian meals, planted some greens in our beautiful garden, and disciplined myself with just 5 black jelly beans, saw a german movie “The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser”, slept in once, connected with friends, house-worked and kept my space sparkling, bought a bunch of gerberas ( i don’t know how to spell this) anyway glorious perfectly petalled long stemmed flowers, aloneness, and ate in my favourite restaurant.

This, over the last 3 days of my midterm break.
Looking forward to working too.

my daughter and I went for a 6-7km walk. She chattered away non-stop, giving the occasional jump and skip to emphasize certain key points….we laughed a lot, legs and mouths in perfect harmony.
A great outing.

Yoga once a week.

Monitor eating, plan meals carefully;

Eat a purer, fresher & healthier diet.

Weight’s circuit five days / week.

By February 2009 running five days / week for 45 minutes.