Overcome social anxiety

I’ve needed to go out these past few days round to the shops but I can’t face it. It’s the same old thing with me. I think about what it is that’s stopping me, if I needed to go out and know that know one else would be about, that is no problem for me at all. I’ve sometimes got up really early and gone to my local park and I’ve been very happy. But the prospect of meeting people, or I should say people meeting me fills me with dread. Why though?

Maybe it’s because of what they might think of me, would validate what I think of myself… Maybe because when I’m out I feel so self conscious and down about myself. At home I’m confident and happy. I’ve got alot of interests and things to do, and not enough time to do it :)

I need to work on being positive about myself, then I know I can face things differently. What’s it matter what anyone else thinks anyway?!

True I am still on medication and seeing my counselor (but probably won’t be keeping it up for much longer) but it is now under control enough that it is no longer holding me back like it was before. I now am able to more consistently able to call people on the phone when I need to without sitting there holding the phone for long periods of time being unable to dial the number. Although the turning point for me was conducting a few services at my church alone when my pastor was away without freezing up or having any major breakdown when fulfilling the role of the clergy.

In my english class, we have to work amongst groups of people.
So far so good. I express all my ideas and opinions without hesitation. I don’t know if it’s just because I feel comfortable with this group of people or what, but it feels nice to feel comfortable. However, next week we will be switching groups. I’ll see how that works out.

Last Tuesday, I also had to talk out loud in class. I actually gave a really good answer and my teacher seemed impressed. I didn’t fumble my words. I did very well. I felt really proud of myself. o_o

However, I still feel so sick and anxious when I’m in the class that my crush is in. I constantly tap my feet and can’t hold anything for shit because i’m so shakey. in that class. I worry if he’s looking at me, or even worse, i worry that he’ll talk to me again. Haha. But at the same time I want him too. But I’m so scared. Augh. To top it off, he’s starting to take interest in another girl. I see them talking and coming into class together, and I just feel so sad and frustrated. If i could just get over my anxiety that could be me. =[

I had a really bad panic attack last week when I was in class. I felt like I was going to die, or throw up [one of my worst fears] or faint! So i got up and ran out of class and left random shit like my soda pop on my desk. Right when I run out I ran into my crush. Because when I’m in a panic attack, I get a little “goofy” or almost high, and I suddenly said “HI!” and ran to the bathroom.

I feel so stupid.
I know i had an anxiety attack because of my crush. But i cant let crush get to me.

I haven’t had a panic attack in about a year and a half. I feel like I let myself down.

In the next two weeks:
1. if feeling nervous. I need to breathe, and calm myself down.
2. I need to confront my crush and explain what happened that day. I need to TRY and talk to my crush without having becoming too noticeably nervous.

Recently I’ve been reading Erika Hilliard’s book “Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety” and it is really great. It really gets into detail about understanding your own social anxiety and what you can do about it. A year ago I probably wouldn’t have been able to make this book useful for myself, at least not in the whole “taking action” part of it. But now I feel like I have enough confidence and understanding to actually apply some of the things discussed in the book.

The book has a really great section about goal-setting, which can be applied to anything, not just social anxiety. I really like the book, so I might buy it to have for reference since I got it at the library. I definitely reccommend it. Everything I’ve read so far is great and helpful.

I’ve been on medication for around 2 weeks now and I think it is starting to make a positive difference, even though its not without side effects mainly loss of appetite and increased trouble sleeping.

so many people i know who suffer with SA are so creative, is it that we creative people tend to think about stuff too much?

This completely rules my life. ]:

I’m really happy and I’ve been doing really great with this goal!! I did have some side effects that we think were from the medicine, so now I’m taking a lower dose, but I still feel fine. The only time I’ve really noticed my anxiety lately was Tuesday during my driving lesson. But now that is over and these past two days of driving have been fine.

Track is fantastic! Outdoor track is sooooo much better than indoor. I love the people and I’m being a lot more social. I had a rough March, but this year as a whole has been great. I can’t wait for college!!

I’ve come really far with this the past few years. I still have a hard time with some things (job interviews is a big one) but I have been working with people in my job for the past 4 years and that really helps!

Working as a field tech really helped because I had to call people I’ve never met, talk to them on the phone, and then go to their house/business and fix their computers and probably talk to them some more…this is something I never would have been able to do 5 years ago! Now, working in a school, I interact with people everyday…I still have trouble with general conversation (sometimes I put my words in the wrong order when speaking and/or have a hard time communicating in a timely fashion) but I’m working on that!