be open and honest

I consider this goal done. I am as open and honest to everyone as I always wanted to be. And with my husband as well. Well… he doesn’t always want me to be too open. So I’m now sharing everything that’s necessary and a bit more, but not everything anymore. \he’s happy with it and I slowly stop being bothered about it.

These last few days I found out that my honesty and openess is not wanted at all. Whenever I am saying something, my husband acts annoyed. When I am telling what I am worried about, he tells me to stop thinking those things since they are only making me upset (but it’s upsetting me anyway – now I’m not talking about it at all and only keep it to myself. It’s not getting any better like this!!!) and when I say that I am not feeling so geat, I am only told to hold on – it will be better. So right now I am not talking at all anymore, except for the most necessary stuff and some things to my daughter (of course). I am writing things down in my diary, but that’s it. There are things I care about my collegues know more of than my husband! But I think he want it this way. Who am I to force him to listen to me?

I want to be open and honest – especially to my husband. The only thing is that he feel annoyed or irritated or even hurt by what I am saying, so that it’s actually better to shut up. I’m not lying to him, but I’m just not telling him what is going on and what I really think and feel. I don’t like that but right now I don’t know another way to handle this.

I feel like to some extent I can’t help but be open and honest with people now. It gets too hard to always be hiding parts of me…not that I still don’t do that some of the time, but I feel like most of the time I am pretty open and honest.

I find it very difficult to always be open. It’s not that I am lying, but I’m just not telling everything that’s on my mind. I keep people guessing too much and that’s not good. Got to work on that some more.

I think I am definitely making progress on this goal. I don’t know if it’s something one ever completely arrives at…more like a continual reach for maintaining openness and honesty. But my roommate from last year wrote this to me in my birthday card recently, which really encourages me that I am making progress, “Your honesty with yourself and others is so refreshing to see. I don’t worry about our relationship, because I know if I offend you, or act like an idiot, you can tell me.” It’s good to feel like I’m growing and changing!