not cry

...u can’t! don’t cry!..please don’t cry.

This is not good. Maybe I’ll go outside for a walk up to the Pike Place Market, then return via the waterfront, and smell the salt air.

My friend and co-worker had an accident on the Bike Lane of Death (2nd Ave). I went to his desk, logged him out of the network, and got his pannier. I arranged with another co-worker to get a car to pick him up and take him and his disabled bike home.

When I got to where he was when I left him, he wasn’t there. I drove around looking for him, and gave up. When I got back to my desk, there was a phone message. He berated me for taking too long and for telling everyone that he had the accident. And also because now he would have to go back to the office to get his pannier. He said he was walking his bike home.

I didn’t tell everyone. I told his boss, per his request. I told my secretary, because I was leaving the office. I told the person who had a car here so I could get her car.

I called his cell and left a brief message. He again told me off. I did not get defensive. I told him I would bring him his pannier up to Capitol Hill on my way home.

Now I feel like crying. Someone told me I shouldn’t bother to bring his pannier to him, and just leave it here, since he gave me so much shit.

I care about my friend. I wish he would have let me take care of him. I don’t know what to do.

I thought I could be as brave as a Ni-o. Well, I tried, but in the end, I was not. I had to run and hide instead.

I seem to be doing better with this.

Adopted goal September 6. Progress to date:

September 6: failure
September 7: failure
September 8: failure