overcome my fear of death

i am having no problems in my life but still i am having fear of death….the thought is not going out of my mind…...day by day it is increasing n the result is that im affected with another fear….THAT IS Y TO GIVE BIRTH TO CHILD WEN ONE DAY ALL OF US R GOING TO DIE …..WAT TO DO PLLLLEASSSE HELP ME …..M RECENTLY MARRIED….N ITZ THE OLY TIME WHERE I HAVE TO CONCEIVE BT THE THOUGHT IS NOT GOING OUT OF MY MIND…..AS I THINK ABT CHILDREN THE THOUGHT OF THEIR DEATH COMES ON MY MIND INSTEAD OF THEIR CUTENESS…

This is difficult to set a time frame to, but the sooner the better.

I wish I had run across this earlier.

Yes, fear of death is not easy, but to start, consider WHY you fear death so much. Is it not because you love this life so much? Obviously, if you did not love this life, why would you fear it ending? There are other reasons we will get to, but the simple realization is, “I love this life and do not want it to end… ever!”, and you thereby fear death. You are, in a sense, right to fear death, but you can learn to transform that fear into something amazing. Notice, I am not saying you can “overcome” the fear, but rather, transform it which is a whole different approach, no?

First try to change your perspective and reflect on the fact that you share this love of life with almost ALL living beings. (I say “almost all” because some are caught in truly horrible situations and take their own lives. I pray none of you are in that bad a situation and if you are, please find a way out!) I want you to live, I want you to be happy! You don’t know me, I don’t know you, but I love you and want you to be happy. I hope that provides some relief. If you can generate this feeling for others, you will find that it changes everything, including the way you relate to the certainty of death. Work hard to cultivate this mindset: I want to live, I want happiness as do all beings. They are exactly like me in this regard, so we are brothers and sisters in that desire.

Next, another good reason to fear death is the extreme mystery of it. What happens when we die, after the obvious pain and weirdness of it? The truth is, nobody on Earth knows or has ever known, regardless of our various religious faiths. Death is the ultimate mystery. Normally, most of us love a good mystery, but not one that has no solution! That is such an offense to our conceptual minds and sense of self… “You mean, I don’t get to find out BEFORE it happens what is going to happen? Really?”

That’s it, boom! You do NOT get to find out. Nobody has ever had that privilege. Of course, you will know after you die if there is an “afterlife” or whatever, but you know, until then, you have to learn to live with this mystery or mysteries.

Similarly to the way recognizing that (most) all beings love this life, ALL beings are burdened with facing down and living with this mystery. ALL of them, without exception. So, again, change your perspective and see this not as a personal burden, not a cosmic offense against YOU, but a burden of the human condition. It unites you with all living creatures, those we see and those we have never seen. It’s beautiful, is it not, when seen from this perspective?

Finally, try to sit with your fear without distraction and feel it’s raw energy and intensity. Then, start to breathe slowly and deeply and focus your mind on that. In short, learn to meditate “on death” by calming yourself down as you stare it down. Try not be let yourself become distracted, try not to think about anything else. In fact, you need not think of anything at all. Just FEEL the energy, feel the intensity.

If you can do this once and survive, you can do it again. And again. And again. Eventually, you will find that you can “stay with it” for longer and longer periods of time. Eventually the energy of death will lose it’s intensity or at least you will get used to it. Like anything, look at it again and again without distraction, and it becomes almost boring! What I suggesting here is not easy, but if you want to deal with your fear and anxiety in relation to death, this is the way to do it.

I hope this has been of some benefit to some of you or others who might trip across this thread. Please remember, it is a miracle that we are born! It’s beyond comprehension how this can be happening, yet it is! Rejoice in this miracle and try not to see death as some tragic part of the bargain. It’s nothing new and it’s not personal. It’s just the way it is, so what?

Hello everyone, My name is Donna.

I am seventeen years old and I am afraid of dying.
I have had this fear since I was eight years old. I haven’t ever been able to talk about this until now. I figured if I am going to overcome this fear, I have to talk about it. I don’t do any drugs and rarely drink, I am a healthy person, as far as I know. However, it still doesn’t mean I am going to grow old, death can come at anytime. I am an insomniac because of this fear, I can’t help but think about it. It’s a fucked up thing to think about, if you ask me. It really takes the fun out of things. I can’t even take a shower without this thought rotting the inside of my brain. I think the part that scares me the most is that it is gong to happen, that I won’t be able to think, feel, laugh, love, smile, or anything I am able to do now. Also, that I won’t even know I am gone. It is an eternal realm of nothing. I am usually an optimistic person, but not when it comes to this, how can I be? I don’t know what to do, I want to be able to enjoy my life without this bullshit fear. :( It’s horrible that this is the only promise in life. I have been to only one funeral in my life, it was my aunt Donna who passed away, she had cancer for a long time. It was really sad to see her suffer for as long as she did. I remember seeing her for the last time before they put her in the ground, it was absolutely terrifying for me! I can’t even put into words how much. It felt like a dream, I couldn’t even cry. I just stood there while everyone said their last goodbyes and cried. I guess it was a realization that, hey! that’s going to be you someday. I will never forget that day.
I am so glad there are people who have the same fear, I don’t feel so alone.

I am so glad that there are other people who are afraid too. I too typed in “overcome my fear of death” into google, and it brough me here. I have been on this site, but not in a long time.
I had my second son on January 16th via emergency c-section. It was after that that I have had this nagging fear. It will not go away and I find myself unable to enjoy life right at the moment. Sometimes I can forget I am afraid, but when I am alone in thought, and especially while lying in bed before I go to sleep I am so scared. I had an anxiety attack the other day because I thought I was dying.
My fear really is that I dont have enough time here on earth to do everything I want to do. i am 29 years old and probably 1/3 of the way done with my life at least, and I think that it has gone by in the blink of an eye.
I fear that I wont be with my loved ones after I die, and that there is no afterlife and once we are gone, we are gone. I am afraid of not existing. I want to exist!
I hope this goes away because I dont think that my life will be a very good one if I am afraid all the time.

I am 25 years old. I have a fear of death. Nothing traumatic (that I know of ) has happend to me in my life. Ive only known three people that have passed away and have only been to two funerals, one of which was for my grandfather when I was about 6 years old…..I have 2 children, one is 3 and the other is two months. So far, I have been able to control my fear-hiding it from people. But every passing day it lays more and more on my mind. I hemmorhaged after giving birth to each of my children and I almost died both times….Although I had this fear of dying way before ever having my children, the fear has intensified after those two close encounters with death.
Im not sure when this fear started but I do know that as far back as I can remember, Ive had this fear. I have a fear of death, of not knowing what will happen to me after I die, of not being able to continue on with my life as I know it, of leaving loved ones behind….I fear for my children-and get very emotional thinking that they could grow up with out me. I get emotional thinking that I could die and not see them grow up or be apart of their lives anymore. I think about this everyday.
My second daughter was born on the 31st of December 2008…the fact that I almost died after giving birth to her…and that it was the second time I almost died giving birth, has left me feeling more vulnerable then ever. And just 2 weeks ago, a 21 year old family member of my husband’s-someone we were both very close with, died right after her 21st birthday in a bizarre and unexplainable car wreck. Going to her funeral last week sent me into an even greater panic. Just knowing that this happend out of no where-her death was the last thing I ever expected to hear about. It was so sudden.
I dont want this to control my life anymore. Im tired of being afraid and most of all of having to hide it and feeling alone and vulnerable. I know that death is inevitable…and maybe thats why I fear it so much…..I know its going to happen, but I dont know when, how,why….what will happen to me after I die, what will happen to my family…I know Im repeating myself but these fears repeat themselves in my brain EVERY SINGLE DAY. I dont know what to do. I dont want this to get worse, but I dont want to tell people about this. I dont want people to think Im crazy and take my kids away or something. Because, as Ironic as this is….I would rather die then lose my children….
Can anyone help me? Does anyone have the same unexplainable fear? Do I make any sense atall or AM I crazy?

its controling my life, i cannot do anything other then worrie about it every time i feel a pain or twinge or funny head i think im dying i cant have a proper relationship i cant get a job i can barely leave the house to do anything. im scared to die i dont know what is going on but i want to be normal again i feel like im slipping and im falling very fast and if i dodnt turn it around soon it will be to late.

OK, I havent really been surrounded by death. I have only had 2 major deaths in the family, my great grandmother when I was six and my grandfather when i was 22. It really didnt get to me until a co-worker of mine died at the young age of 34. She had a pulmonary embolism and died in her sleep. That happened on Nov 2nd. She was the most wonderful person I have ever met. Her death hit me because if god can take someone like her away, then who are we?? I find myself more than ever with a tremendous fear of death. I pass my day and its in my head all day. I lay down and I just start to cry and cry just the thought of not being here or with my family scares me so much. My fear now is dying and leaving my 5 year old. I know I will die someday im just afraid of how..and when. I am only 24 and I fear going to sleep and not waking up. I find that this fear is is seriously affecting my life. What can I do? Help me please….

OK just when I’m sure the gnostic christians were on the money and the catholic church WAS influenced by the greek helenestic age and dumbed down the bible because they knew the masses wouldn’t get the gnostic concepts of spirtual rebirth and physical reincarnation which seems to be what Jesus was REALLY teaching a nurse I know very well confided in me she once saw a “cloud” coming out of the door of a patient who died. She was told it was the vent but i know for a FACT if that much crap was in the system it would have been SHUT DOWN until the patients were safe. I also found a video where Penn and Teller demonstrate with scientists that the body reacts the same way during near death experiences that pilots do during heavy gforce blackouts. so what am I supposed to think now???
it IS a fact the romans burned the bodies of the crucified after it was done to prevent the spread of infectious diseases not to mention the stink after the bpdy had served it’s purpose as a tool for intimidation. what do the rest of you think?

Recently I’ve been ridden with a potent fear of death and life or no life that comes after. I’ve been able to overcome a lot of things in life, emotionally, and spiritually, but this is one that still leaves me in a whirlwind of unsure notions. Any suggestions out there?