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How I did it: First, I had no choice but to confront being alone. My partner of 21 years went completely kaplooie with a mid-life crisis, things fell horrendously, explosively apart, and there I was, alone. I didn't want to be in my house, I didn't want to be outside of the house, I didn't want to be at work, I didn't want not to be at work; I didn't want to be with my friends; I didn't want to be alone; everything I did was torture. What made the most difference was getting my cats; they gave me a reason to get up, to care, to want to come home, to open up my heart. Then I slowly started rediscovering myself and the whole wonderful, fun, complicated, interesting, funny, difficult world that is just ME...and one day I realized I was okay and that being alone wasn't so awful after all.
Lessons & tips: 1. Stay busy, even if you don't want to. I can't tell you how many mental-health professionals said, and I quote, "Fake it 'til ya' make it." Sounds stupid, sounds hard, but it works.
2. Enjoy getting to know yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself.
3. Know that you are a whole person with a lot to give the world without someone else in your life. "You complete me" is a load of crap. *I* complete me!
3. Learn to be curious about the world.
4. Learn how to validate yourself and not need it from others (a big challenge for me).
5. Laugh, laugh, laugh.
Resources: 1. Two therapists and one psychiatrist!
2. Anti-depression medications
3. My cats
4. My friends
5. My sister
6. The internet
7. My sense of humor
I do not like myself. I am terrified of being alone. I am also very depressed right now and nothing in my life is fun. I really have no friends. I already have 3 cats. I also suffer a lot from anxiety. I am a mess but want to believe that God will help me. I am 56 and scared most of the time, like I’m three years old.
As much as I desire marriage in my life, I don’t think it should be the driving goal, I don’t think it should be a mark on the check list of success.
The things we do with our lives are important, as are the things we do them with, and I think that some of us in this world are destined for great things, things that it would be difficult to prepare for (and possibly even to accomplish) with the restrictions that marriage would place on you.
It would not be fair to either partner to neglect them for one’s work and would only cause longer sadness if a marriage were forced to endure such a thing.
It is for this reason that I don’t know for certain if I will be married, as right now my work can best be done with total freedom of time and location.
Which is the reason I need to work on being better at being alone. I think I suffer the same troubles as many people, that when I am not seeing someone, I would like to be dating someone. It feels good to have that level of intimidate support when things are not going well, or when things are it is good to have someone to share your joy with.
I just fear that it would be more damaging to someone to love a person only to have them need to fly to some distant country, or even the opposite corner of their own.
It’s difficult to be alone, but if the greater good is served by it, it is a pain that must be endured.
Just when I started thinking that I was slowly coming to achieve this goal, everything went haywire. I’m feeling very lonely right now. I’m going to go to work now, listen to some good CDs (comforting in their familiarity, but not self-indulgent), and try to be brave about this whole thing.
I went to the beach today and ran and it was so much fun. I went all by myself, did my run and then looked for seashells. I had a blast. I think I am really finally understanding that no one will ever make me happy but myself. Who cares what others think as long as I am happy and having fun!!
ekco wants to Take one picture a day as a way to document my life
watch all CSI episodes
watch free online movies
Kiss in the rain
learn to be content
find her
Grow old gracefully
start driving
elizabethmerchant wants to buy a new house.
make enough money
run more
go to europe
travel to Mexico
run more often
downlod smallville season 6
be happier
virtuosanina wants to cook more
Knit a Harry Potter scarf
Go to the gym
