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Recover from debilitating vertigo.


Recent activity


truthsayer226I'm nearly well

I just have to exercise and stay physically active. Physical activity heals the brain. I have some dizziness in the morning but it could be medication side effects. I go for a walk every morning and that seems to clear it up. The doctor wanted me to have some vestibular rehab but I’ve decided against it. I need to save money. I never saw how it helped me that much. Tomorrow I’ll be back to work full time for 2 weeks. It is a relief to finally get back to a normal schedule and life. At one time I thought that I’d never reach this point. If it weren’t for the people in my life cheering me on, I don’t think I could have done it alone. I’m going to consider this done. 5 years ago

truthsayer226new information

I now a little more about my condition.I have erratic eye movements called nystagmus. This is causing my near constant nausea and the dizziness when it occurs. The PT gave me some exercises to do twice daily. He also suggested walking in nature would help my brain heal itself. It gave me some hope I can heal myself. I actually had a good day. 5 years ago

truthsayer226work is going okay

The worst thing is feeling nauseated every morning and not wanting to eat breakfast. It eventually wears away or I forget about it as I work. The other thing is my fatigue. I push my way through the day and keep doing things all day. I haven’t felt tired but more emotional and at times angry. This has been going on a few monthes so I don’t know where it’s coming from. Today I rested all afternoon. I felt too exhausted to do anything both physically and mentally. I felt very emotional yesterday. This morning was hard to go to work but I pushed through it. Tomorrow and Monday I have more medical tests. Thursday I hope the doctor has some answers for me. I feel like will go insane if he can’t tell me something that will help. At least my husband will be with me. 5 years ago

truthsayer226going back to work

I have mixed feelings about this but if I don’t try it, I will get in a financial bind by the end of July. I feel like I’m 90% okay. I’m starting with 4 hours a day 3 days this week. Then 4 hours 4 days next week. the following week I have 2 doctors’ appointments out of town so I’ll work 4 hours each for 3 days. I can drive, clean house, pay the bills, exercise and shop without holding on to anything to avoid falling. I think I should avoid climbing. It’s just common sense. The only time I really notice vertigo is if I allow my eyes to travel backwards when the car is in motion. As long as I stay focused forward, there isn’t a problem. I still have that slight feeling of nausea that has decreased my appetite. I’m not going to cry about that one considering I’m lost 5 pounds. 5 years ago

truthsayer226informal test results

Well, it was strange and interesting because I wasn’t sick when I took this particular test this time. I still got nauseated and weak. The audiologist said that she’s only seen results like mine once before and she wasn’t sure what it meant so she forwarded the results to the doctor. Just great. Now I’m worried that it was either a fluke or I have a rare central nervouse system disease. She said that my responses were “hyperactive” and indicated a CNS problem. She also disagreed with results I had before that were similar but the tester said were normal. I’m tired of being scared about this illness. I’m ready for a normal life again. It makes it worse that I noticed that my mother has similar symptoms except hers seem worse. 5 years ago

truthsayer226feeling better

Friday I get a test repeated. I don’t know what the result they are looking for is but I hope they can tell me what is wrong. I’m doing better coping this week. I talked to a friend who helped me see things in a different perspective. My job is whatever I’m doing now. The time that I’m spending getting the house organized, the shed cleaned out, my incompletes done, and providing for my husband is time worthwhile. I may not be bringing in money but my services are valuable and beneficial to both of us. If I was working, I would not be able to do these things. I might have to pay someone to do the basics of house cleaning. I wouldn’t have time to organize or throw stuff away. Things would be accumulating out of control. I would feel stressed because our house seems to be bursting at the seams with stuff! Being sick has allowed me to take care of things that would have been left undone. One doctor wants me to go back to work part time. I’m trying to get up with the one who has the say so. I have an appointment for Monday. I am concerned what she will say. I do and don’t want to go back to work. I’ll pray that the highest good occurs. 5 years ago


I’ve been feeling like I’m going to lose my mind lately. I can’t tell whether or not I’m well enough to go back to work. I don’t feel good but I don’t feel too bad either. I’m mainly frustrated due to feeling tired and mildly nauseated all the time. Money is tight so I feel like I need to push the issue. I went to my family doctor to discuss it. She says that I’m still testing positive for neurological deficits so she extended my leave to 6/30th. I’m getting a second neuro opinion tomorrow and getting neuropsychological testing on Wednesday. She warned me that they may want to do a spinal tap. I do hope they don’t. She wants me to stay out long enough to get the results so we’ll know if there’s any treatment to be done before I go back. I do feel relieved. I was feeling a lot of pressure because my leave ran out on 6/22. I want to make sure it is safe to push myself that hard before I stat back. 5 years ago

truthsayer226Progress! Yes!

I paid my fees to return to the gym. I hope to start back tomorrow but it will have to be slow. I may even take the silver sneakers classes so that they’ll be low impact enough. 5 years ago

truthsayer226still getting better

I went to the beach by myself this weekend. This is the first time I’ve traveled alone in nearly 6 months. It’s hard to describe what a freedom and privelege it is to do something alone. It’s good to have help but nothing builds my confidence like independence! The biggest problem is that the nausea and weakness haven’t totally dissapated and put a crimp in my style. It wasn’t bad enough to ruin the experience though. I get a second opinion on June 12th and some neuropsych testing on JUne 17th. I think now that the thinking issues I noticed may have been caused by being so depressed because I was so physically ill and unable to do so little without help.Keeping this blog has helped me track my symptoms so that I can tell more easily when I started noticing what symptoms and what improvements. 5 years ago

truthsayer226I can finally tell I'm getting better.

The nausea and dizziness is better. The physical stamina is improved. I’m back to cleaning and reorganizing the house. My thinking is better and I’ve been able to work on my graduate work. I feel better but my anxiety about returning to work is increasing. My doctor’s note covers me until June 22 so I have some time to pull myself together. Last night I couldn’t sleep until 3:00 a.m. because I was worried. Will I be able to focus and think through problems? Can I handle the stress? Should I start working a few days a week? I’m just afraid. 5 years ago

truthsayer226the run around--I hate it!

I can’t say that the doctor visit went too well. He just passed the buck back to my family doc. It was rather infuriating because that meant I had to trek back to see her the next day. We’re trying a new medicine for the nausea that he suggested. Happily it seems to work without putting me out of commission. I also got the sleep study results back-the surgery was successful-I don’t have sleep apnea anymore! I am so relieved. I did not want to wear a c-pap at night. I’m so glad that I fought back instead of allowing myself to be cowed into buying something I didn’t want. It was hard to buck medical authority but I was right to do so. I’m so grateful to my Doctor, too. She has truly stood by me to the end. The vertigo is better, too. I actually managed to do some things around the house today. Putting up clothes and changing the bed sheets may not seem like that much but if you’ve been too sick to do them, it feels great! 5 years ago

truthsayer226see the neurologist tomorrow...

I’m rather nervous about it. I don’t want to expect anything will happen so I won’t be hurt or disappointed. I need help though and my local doctor can’t do anything for me. I wrote up a description of everything going on so that I don’t forget to tell him anything. I’ve spent about 2 hours on it because I want to make certain I don’t forget anything—a symptom or other changes. I think finally I’m getting a little help from my employer. If I get some paperwork signed, I may qualify for the family medical leave act. it will help me get my medical insurance paid. They’ve been fighting me on allowing me to apply for short term disability. I will run out of money in the next month so I have to do something to pay the bills! I don’t want to put all the burden on my husband. I’m not making any assumptions but I have been studying my rights. I think I will qualify for something. I feel like I’m experiencing the trials and tribulations of Job. 5 years ago

truthsayer226fighting despair...

I’ve nearly been out of work 60 days. I have a choice of going on short term disability until I get stronger. I got my last pay check yesterday but I was able to pay all my bills with it. I am doing the vertigo exercises but it seems that new health problems are sprouting. for example, I am b12 anemic. Easily remedied with a shot every week for 3 weeks and once a month afterwards. The other new symptom is weakness. Yesterday I got so weak that I couldn’t get into the house without help. Some gatorade brought me back to life but I’m still weak today. My neighbor thought that my sugar dropped too low. I’m not diabetic. I don’t dare do too much physically or go far by myself. I’m trying to decide whether to see a doctor or not. I just don’t believe that they will find anything. Money is so tight that I don’t want to spend the money for a copay. I have to spend $40 on Tuesday for the neurologist anyhow. Eating helps some but not enough. There is not an easy answer.
Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved.”
- John Keats
Keats lived life as an adventure. he died at 30 when he was still young and in good health. I’m afraid my life has become a problem to be solved not an adventure. There have been points of adventure but not every minute. Isn’t that more realistic? I think Keats was overly idealistic about what life is. 5 years ago

truthsayer226good news = bad news

The bad news is that my family Dr. wants to keep me out until I see the neurologist in JUne. The good news is that she wants to keep me out until June. I just don’t feel up to returning yet. I still have some vertigo and other symptoms. When I go back to work, I need to have my game face on. I need to be able to think through complex people problems and I’m definitely not there yet. The Physical therapist wants to push me back to a few hours a week and build up until the end of May. I want to go back to work! I need the money as I am on leave without pay. I need to be strong enough to handle the stressful environment. I don’t want to relapse. If I can’t take care of myself first, I won’t be any use to anyone else. 5 years ago

truthsayer226Set back!

I have 3 degenerating disks in my neck so I was leary about the head shaking exercises. My fears were not unfounded. Today I can barely turn my head. I took a couple ibuprofen and called the PT. Maybe if I treat my neck with advil and an ice pack that will help. I don’t dare push the exercises until the neck pain improves. I don’t know if the exercises are working yet. I have worked up to 75 moves a minute. Somehow have to keep doing something around the house. have to keep from getting depressed. 5 years ago

truthsayer226I've improved all ready!

My husband counted how many times I performed the exercise and I got 91 the first time and 75 the second. I have until 4/20 to reach 100 so I have all ready made significant progress. I might be doing the exercises wrong but I’m getting dizzy. The PT told me if I got dizzy then I was doing them right. I was too dizzy to go for a walk with my husband afterward but it wasn’t unbearable dizziness.I took a nap this afternoon so that may have refueled my energy level. Maybe there is more hope here than I realize. I still can’t stop this gnawing feeling of terror in the pit of my stomach though. I remember how stressful work was when I left. I’m not looking forward to returning. I can’t find another job if I don’t get better so I must continue to go forth! 5 years ago

truthsayer226and so it goes...

I started the exercises yesterday. It was a bad day because I got dizzier. I managed to wash dishes and spent the day reading a book. Today I took meds for nausea and tried. I cried off and on but I have laughed hard too. Maybe this will get better. I finally managed to call my father and tell him about it. maybe that’s what made me sad. His sympathy reminded me of how hard things have been. I didn’t cry until I was watching a UTube video of “The Mummer’s Dance” by Lorena McKennet a little later. We’re going out to eat tonight. Maybe going out with help with the depression. 5 years ago

truthsayer226Began rehab

After weeks of frustration and feeling like my life is over, someone told me something positive. The vertibular rehab therapist believes that if I work the rehab program exercises I will be back to work full time by the end of May. I will have to build my stamina slowly and retrain how my brain deals with motion. I will only be able to go back a few hours a week at a time. She said that I will have relapses from time to time for the rest of my life but the exercises will help control the vertigo.

I feel strangely apathetic about all this. I think that I’m afraid to hope too much for recovery so that I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work. I thought good news would make me happy. Maybe tomorrow it will sink in with me better. Of course, traveling takes a lot out of me. I spent the afternoon resting. 5 years ago

truthsayer226feeling weak today...

Had to travel 45 minutes to see a doctor today. By the time I got home, I felt mindless weak and tired. I fixed supper anyhow because not to meant I was giving in. I laid down at 7 and didn’t get up until midnight. I feel okay until I start a lot of physical activity. The tireder I get, the more dizziness and nausea return. I had looked forward to going to the bookstores but fatigue and irritability kept me from enjoying myself. At one used bookstore I was trying so hard to concentrate but my husband was so excited about the deals that I finally quit in frustration. He was like a puppy. He just could not contain his excitement. Feeling weak made it difficult at best to week through the books looking for certain authors. I didn’t want to kill his joy just because I was frustrated. The new bookstore was better. He got coffee and had more to look at. I was so weak I only could tolerate an hour. I wish I knew what’s wrong me me;however, if knowing would kill my hopes of getting better I don’t think I want to go. I need something to hope for. At least the Dr. I saw today knows my neurologist and thinks highly of him for his compassion for his patients. It was a relief. 5 years ago

truthsayer226Not a good day for the home team...

Just more confounding medical evidence today that I have a central nervous system disorder. Had a few cries but fortunately, I have a supportive husband. In times like this, I try to focus not necessarily on what makes me happy but moment by moment thoughts that allow me to keep on. Like taking steps,one at a time when it hurts too much to walk fast. If I aimed for happiness, it would be too depressing. Aiming for feeling satisfied, feeling like I have enough, I am enough is the best I know how to do. 5 years ago

truthsayer226Trying to keep my courage...

February 25th I was taken by EMS to the hospital. I was so dizzy and nauseated I couldn’t even talk coherently. I stayed in bed a few days, felt better and tried going back to work for a week. I got worse and haven’t been back since. I am seeing an otorhinolaryngologist and a neurologist. This is March 23rd and no one can tell me exactly what is wrong with me. They think something is wrong with the part of my brain that controls balance. I start vestibular rehabilitation on April 2. No one can promise that it will work but it is the best chance I have for recovery. 5 years ago

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