Be more fun to be around
9 months ago
Being around people drains me after awhile – I lose the will to be there and I’m not fun to be around anymore. I’m trying to be louder and funnier to try to keep my energy afloat.
How to be more comfortable in social situations
It made me
What was I thinking? 
"I am who I am and should quit trying to conform to riduculous norms."
How I did it: All my life I wanted to be a "social butterfly" and "fit in". I am not known for my social graces, I don't get hints, I don't understand the way people think and I am not like anyone else. I thought this goal would help but I was wrong. This didn't help with anything except helping me feel like a social retard. Why did I think that trying to conform to every one else's "norm" would help anything? I don't like large groups of people or being around them... so don't go to places with large groups. I am not the life of the party... so don't be. I like my one on one friendships where I can have QUALITY time and a meaningful friendship that is worth something. I like these things.I realized after trying to "fit in" and "be more social" that I was trying to be something that I am not. This goal is the High School version of trying to fit into a "clique" that you just don't belong. In High School I wasn't in a "clique". I knew a lot of people from all "cliques" and had friends from every one of the groups of people. But, never would I hang out with a large group because of the "herd mentality". It just wasn't my thing and it still isn't. I am okay with not being normal. I am okay with being "weird" because all the "social situations" are just weird to me too. I don't understand them and I quit trying.I did succeed in this goal though, so don't think this goal was for nothing. "Social Situations". What does that mean? I think it means any situation where you have to be social with others... whether large or small. From doing this, I am more comfortable approaching other people and starting a conversation. I am less afraid to openly greet a stanger or give a compliment. But I still like my very small social situations of 1 or 2 friends at a time. I will never be what some call a social butterfly. Even butterflies have cacoons. I tend to like mine.
Lessons & tips:
- Don't change who you are for societies ideals.
- Don't be afraid to explore just beyond your comfort zone when you are ready.
- Don't see your inability to "socialize" as a "bad thing". We are all different and see things differently.
- One on one time with a good friend is still a social situation.
- You don't need medications to make yourself normal. You are normal as you are.
People doing this are also doing these things:
Entries
A blog about this topic
2 years ago
Hey,
I decided to start a blog about my own experiences in trying to become more comfortable in social situations. It’s pretty ambitious – I’m hoping what I come up with will be kind of a definitive solution for everyone trying to do this. Anyway, if anyone wants to read what I’m doing with this, the blog is
http://socialturnaround.blogspot.com
It would also be amazing to get some comments on entries!
my everyday life
2 years ago
I live everyday with frustrations in social situations.I work in a hospital so of course there is a lot of social conversation and I am always the mute.I only talk when spoken to and usually I am so anxious when spoken to that I just try to say the quickest thing just to avoid long conversation.I blush,I avoid conversation due to ackwardness,and am usually the one that is in the background.I guess people get use to me not talking so it becomes a norm for them, but I don’t want to be the quiet one I want to join in but my mind is always blank when the time arises.Anyways I would like to work on my social and conversational skills for sure.
mute
2 years ago
I would love to be free of my social anxieties. I have lived with them for well over 20 years (maybe longer) and have managed to live a decent life so far only by avoidance.
When I am in a social situation with more than one person my mind goes totally blank and I don’t know what to say. I then become anxious and don’t speak to anyone at all unless they speak to me. I usually have a look about me that makes me unaproachable by other people even though I am desperate for someone to talk to me. I usually end up leaving early feeling very ashamed of myself.
Anyway, this is a long term goal of mine but am afraid to start the ball rolling as I have tried many times before and only re-afirmed my disability.
Shy
3 years ago
I wish I could just be more comfortable around new people and truly be myself. I find that with most people, it takes me a while to warm up to them and let them in.
I am a shy individual who has trouble acting normal in
social scenes. It takes me awhile to get comfortable
around new people. I just need to relax more and
see if that helps.
skills?
4 years ago
I am not a social butterfly…i tend to say things that make me feel like an idiot. Strange (unfamiliar) people tend to make me nervous. I dislike crowded places. I try not to stay long at festivals, or crowded resturants or bars. I’m sure I could improve with some refined social and relaxation skills.
