be a good daughter

but why? sometimes my mom is still yelling at me on everything wrong that i did. she always look for my weakness. she never tries to realize that i am trying to change. i am always confused with her actions related to this situation. but i shudn’t blame anyone, i have to try more and more and try to be a better someone.

i’ve tried to less replying back my parents word. try to listen to them more and more.

Really had a great visit with mom. I had enough “activities” scheduled to keep us busy, not so many that we were exhausted, or felt scheduled. All were laid back & casual. I think her favorite was the butterfly pavilion, although she really enjoyed Pikes Peak, too. (That was just a really long day I think – not exhausting, but long.) She’s been gone about 12 hours, I miss her already. I know she’s not missing me yet, because she’s with the grandkids now, but she will.

mom’s coming to visit next month – my doing. I have stuff planned she will like – train ride to the top of pikes peak, visit to the butterfly pavilion, visit to a winery. All easy, relaxing stuff, but all stuff she will like. And the best part? 4 weeks to go, and she’s already started packing.

Well, I actually called my dad from my brother’s house on Christmas. Dad answered the phone all annoyed (I’m sure he doesn’t have caller ID & assumed it was a wrong number or something.) When he heard me say “Hi, Dad, it’s me. Merry Christmas,” there was a pause, and he responded “Hey, Merry Christmas to you, baby girl!” His voice was cracking, he was crying. We chatted for a few minutes, then my oldest niece wanted to talk to him, then my brother actually took the phone. I think the bro talked to him for 45 minutes, longest in ???? years! I’ll be calling my dad again soon, but I think that just calling him on Christmas, well – I don’t think I’ll be able to top that.

But I always thought of this goal in relation to my mom, never my dad. My dad has his faults (oh, there’s plenty) but basically he did his best & I never went without, and I always knew he loved me. My parents’ divorce changed a lot of things, but mostly I think it change how my dad thought his kids perceived him. (we were grown up & long out of the house by then) It didn’t change how I saw him – he was always a pretty good dad & an absolutely lousy husband. I knew that as a 5 year old. And I’ve always tried to let him know that I love him. I guess maybe I’ll be trying harder now.

offered my mom a free plane ticket to come see me. From her preferred airport (45 minutes from her home.) One of my friends would drive her if she wanted. Direct flight to my place (no changing planes), where I would meet her at the airport. any weekend in October that fit her schedule so she could see the new house. Didn’t want to get into November, because I know she starts getting nervous about the weather. Oh, and I couldn’t just offer to pay for it, because she wouldn’t let me spend my money on something like that. My man actually offered his frequent flyer miles, which she was all over. Then changed her mind. Maybe in the spring. Did I ever mention she got bumped from a flight once to visit my brother (the one with kids) & she got a free ticket from the airlines for it. She threw it away, because she couldn’t find a time to use it to visit the bro & kids. I said – “What about using it to visit me?” Response – “Oh, I never thought about that.” I think I am a good daughter. Do I need to be a better one?

I am trying to do this but anything I do just is not good enough I just want to make them proud and not be so moody has anybody got any tips ??

Well I have been realy mean to my dad lately. He just realy gets on my nerves! He like just pushes my buttons!! Grrr Well I realy need to work on it. I realy think I need anger manegment casue I get pissed easily! >XD

It is more difficult for me to be a good daughter because I spent the first 40 years of my life as a son. I transitioned ten years ago but my mother still does not accept me.
http://lauracamfield.blogspot.com/

Laura