Accept things in my life

I’m trying very hard to keep up.
I’ve lost 5 more people since the
last time I posted. I’ve turned my
attention to all the families and
friends grieving to keep them all
going. I have to keep believing the
light is gonna shine through soon.

It seems like massive waves are
consuming me. I have lost too many
people around me and now more are
close to going. There are other
happenings as well which doesn’t
help matters. I really don’t know
if I can handle any more funerals
at this time.

I kind of feel like the scene in
“Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back”
where Luke is confronting Vader for
the first time in Cloud City.
Being slammed and weary and slow on
reaction.

I am trying to accept things as they
are, but it does get difficult.

Ok. Now that I’ve cleared my throat out…
heh. I am extremely stressed out today. I’m
trying my best to keep myself calm so I can
think clearly and get things accomplished. I
think I just need something to tear up about now.
(I can’t find my picture of my cat tearing toilet
paper up so I’m borrowing one lol)

It’s difficult to accept things you can’t change.
It would be nice to have a magic wand wouldn’t it?
I’ve never been the type to “settle” for anything
unless it makes me happy. I am discovering that
in life, not everything that needs to be accepted
will make you happy. The key is to figure out how
to make the best of it all. It’s not giving up. It
is realizing no matter how hard you fight, there are
just some things can’t be the way you wish. How much
stress and heartache can you deal with before you say,
“I’ve done all I can from what I know.”?

It’s at these times I become frustrated, but I soon
learn a different way of co-existing in the end.
Reality bites at times.

I’ve got an on-going problem that refuses to go away.
It is really getting to me today. I’ve been coaxing
myself to let it go…don’t worry about it…As much
as I’ve tried changing it, it remains the same. I just
need to take these difficult days and try my best to
succeed.

I woke up this morning and let’s just say…not
a good day…All I want to do is curl up in my
bed and cry.

My get up and go, got up and went.

It makes me angry, but I need to accept that things
will get done when they are supposed to. I had wanted
to go out to do a bit of errand running, but
my legs said bump you.

The mind is willing. The body wants a break…maybe I
push myself too much.

Patience is a virtue.

I have always had a problem accepting the
way things are in my life.
For this goal, one saying comes to mind;
the Serenity prayer.

“God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”