We went to dinner to celebrate my sister’s birthday, she turned 18. As the staff brought her cake to the table and we all began to sing, the waiter lost his balance and the cake flipped and landed upside down on the floor! Everyone froze in time and ::sighed:: it was almost surreal. The frosting also swiped my mother’s blazer leaving a mess everywhere. My sister (who can be quite emotional) just sat there and stared. I waited for the tears to drop, or her to go off, nothing. {Thank God!} The poor waiter looked so apologetic and remorseful, as if he understood the significance of our being there and her cake being on the floor. There were no words to describe the look on his face, nor the things he must have been feeling. This was followed by chatter all around us. People at other tables looking, pointing, and talking about the cake on the floor and my Mom’s clothes…
Sam’s Club was just down the street. They offered free dessert from their menu, but my sister deserved a cake with candles. I asked my Mom if I could go and replace the cake. It had been special ordered, so it wouldn’t look the same, but the point was, I wanted her to have a birthday cake and for us to finish the song. I wanted her to cut a cake. So I left and picked from what was available. They were able to write a birthday message and I went back to Famous Dave’s. The look on my sister’s face said it all. Thank you~
We resumed singing Happy Birthday and enjoyed the rest of the day. They reimbursed my Mom for the first cake, they also took my receipt and paid me for the second cake I purchased. They’re also footing the dry clean bill for my Mom’s blazer….
Part 2
My Grand Dad came to the dinner. He looks just like my Dad and I had been feeling a little sad earlier about missing him. It was so good to hug, talk to and embrace him. One of my Mother’s friends came to our end of the table to talk and when she walked away, my Grand Dad brought something to my attention. He said that I said okay no matter what the woman said and he knew I didn’t agree with everything she was saying. He mentioned that I was either giving her the impression that I was in total agreement or that I really didn’t care because saying okay continuously could also be a way of saying whatever. Immediately, I got the lesson and understood why I have problems with certain other people in my life. I say okay when things are not and that is misleading, both to them and to myself. Choosing different words, “I understand, I see, well I was thinking” anything different. Thank you Grand Dad, I got it ;) Then a few minutes later _ I caught myself_ doing it again, but I actually heard myself that time. Later on my aunt joined us at the table. She began saying okay a lot. We looked at one another, first smiling, then laughing. She didn’t get it, so I explained my revelation. I guess it was just for me… it didn’t mean much to her ;) Which is fine too!
Part 3
After getting home, I called my best friend. She told me she had been in a car accident the day before. Excuse me miss, why didn’t you call me??? At any rate, she’s fine and so was the other driver, but both their cars need serious repairs. She talked about walking to the grocery store instead of waiting for help (we are very independent), enjoying the walk and seeing things differently because of walking instead of driving.
I talked to her about my day, the events at church, Stephanie’s birthday party, my Grand Dad’s talk. She stated that she’s been aware of my saying okay or being agreeable, when my face says something else. She especially remembers my marriage and how chaotic things became because I was sending mixed messages. She didn’t address it because she knew ultimately I’d make sound choices. That was different. She’s a trained therapist and I usually feel like I’m being analyzed, not on that point. Our conversation continued. She’s reading The Seat of the Soul, which I read some years ago. She was sharing and said some pretty meaningful things, reminding me of things I know but may not have been tapping into. Yesterday was full, productive and full of choices ;)
