Find what makes me Happy

being Myself and not listening to others negitive words

I have forgotten what makes me happy.

a mere feeling…
a touch that is always there
a touch that comes no matter what you say
being able to feel what is invisible
a mere hug from God when you need it the most
the everyday touch
a hug that reminds you of life and love
a touch
a feeling
a smile
the wind

the only thing that you can feel when you want nothing

letting go.
not thinking.
but just letting what may happen just happen.
this always leads to making me happy…and I only just know discovered that…

I need to find what I have missed. My whole life seems to have gotten thrown off path because I missed something along the way.

Problem i; I have no idea where to start looking.

I seem to be lost. I feel like something is missing and I have no clue as to what it might be.

Looking for a little guidance.

it’s not just what will make me happy it’s that i fundamentally don’t know how to be happy. i know i said i didn’t want to give up on this but it’s a bigger issue at hand. i love to knit and to travel, but that’s just not enough, it’s not getting to the heart of the matter.

Is thinking and action.

I love to think, write, listen, and to please others.
I love the old, the new, and the nostalgic.
New places, nonconventionally beautiful women, weather, poetry, tea, bright eyes, moons, night, and art…

Beauty makes me happy.

it occurred to me today that i can’t recall a time when i was ever happy: not growing up, not in college, not at work, not now. i guess here’s another reason to do the “get therapy” ‘thing.’

I know I can be happy, but where is it. What shelf is it resting on, it’s somewhere in here. Where is that manual that stupid script. No one ever finds it so I guess we’re all gonna have to wing it. Just write it ourselves.