Save $50,000

Have a total of $25,622, not including $3,200 in Kiwisaver. Over halfway there.

Not sure why it matters anymore, I’ll be a pauper soon enough.

I haqve $14,155. 28.31% of the way there.

1. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I will probably require meds of some kind for the rest of my life going forward.

2. I will be laid off from my job next year.

Increasingly, I’ve begun feeling that I probably will not be able to reach this savings goal at all. I am desperately in need of a sabbatical; if I get a job again before my severance runs out, I won’t have much of a break. If I wait and give myself a vacation, I will run out of health coverage and it will be difficult to find a job unless I start burning my savings on medical expenses. The third, risky option that presents itself is for me to not actively look for a job and plan on taking that year long break to create now, instead of four years down the road. In other words, this is kind of forcing my hand on the whole art thing. I have a situation now where people are willing to cover my rent if necessary to see me through my launch into a second career. So long as I can make enough to eat and get meds in the meanwhile, I can potentially give myself enough of a time window to finish the script and revise my portfolio.

In the end I still come out ahead because of employer contributions, and I’m not counting that in my savings total anyhow. But I’ve held onto my god damned CS account because I don’t want to pull out now. Between what’s left in there and what’s socked away in my savings, I am hovering at about 46%.

I’m not sure it’s worth my time and sanity to keep at it.

I actually spent enough on doctor visits, tools, and the budget for the ELE project that I have saved nothing over the past month. That’s actually kind of impressive, in a “swear you will never do this again plz” kind of way.

Why am I doing this, again? Why is it that the more I save, the more impatient I get about reaching this goal?

Increasingly, it feels like I’ve made a deal with the devil.

I have now saved up a total of $10,040 in Bonus Bonds. i set up an automatic payment of $100 a month from my check account

I got a raise and a bonus! Please allow me to do an outmoded early 90’s dance move in celebration.