get over my eating disorder

I’ve been anorexic for about 3 years now and i can’t quite seem to overcome it. I can’t eat one bite of anything without feeling anxiety, and yet being stressed out about eating sometimes actually CAUSES me to eat even more. Then i feel so guilty that I don’t eat for days, until I can’t control my hunger and I binge. Thus far I’ve been able to prevent myself from becoming bulimic, but it’s so tempting to purge. Oh and I’ve done treatment…I saw a nutritionist and a psychologist for nearly 2 years. I got healthy (at least physically) at one point but after a couple months it got bad again.
Now I just feel so lost and I’m always thinking about food and my weight and it’s like a prison I built for myself.

i dont have an eating disorder…i just can’t eat. im not trying to be anorexic but i dont have an apetite anymore and it’s cause of my depression. i feel bad because there are people who would love to be as small as me [im naturally thin] and here i am losing more weight [ i lost 12 lbs in a month and 1/2]...the crazy thing is i just wanna gain weight…becoming a binger…but i dont have an apetite anymore…i feel like i never will get it back.

there are 2 things about bulimia.
1) it doesnt work. you only ever purge MAXIMUM 50% of the kilojoules you consumed. This is because kilojoule absorbtion begins the moment you put it in your mouth. Result= bulimia actually makes me (and you) fat.

2) It is addictive. once you realise you don’t want to do it anymore, you’re just making yourself fat (and ugly) rotten teeth, bad hair, bad skin, that tired haggard look, SWOLLEN FACE. Its too late, you can’t help but do it. you’re addictied. and so am I.

It’s sad that I KNOW all this, but i can’t help myself.

Kasper.

Getting over Bulimia can be very hard and distressing. The best thing you can do is get access to help eg. go to help classes or just sit down and talk to some one about it.

i’m sick of it. i want to eat normally again. i want to indulge and not feel bad. i want an appetite for pity’s sake

I wish I could say that there’s a magic formula for getting over it – but if there was, we’d all know it by now.

I was in inpatient in 2005. I haven’t been back since, and don’t think I will be. My ED was mainly covering up my depression.

I have my good days and bad days. I avoid fashion magazines and the gym. My mind still has a way of absorbing all the “diet” things I hear about on TV. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look good, other days I feel like my body is an icky blob of tapioca pudding.

It doesn’t end, exactly, but it does get a lot better.

The difference is that it doesn’t take over my life anymore. Life is so much nicer when you can think about things other than food and exercise!

I think that at this point I’m like most women – but I think that’s really sad. We – by which I mainly mean women, but also anyone preoccupied by their body image – too brilliant, talented, and full of potential to have our minds consumed by this absolute CRAP.

blushes ...stepping off the soapbox for now.

i’ve had an ed for 5 years. sometimes it controls me, its always on my mind. I’m tired of living a life obsessed with food and eating and being thin. This is my number one goal and i don’t know how to attain it…

Technically I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t starve myself, or make myself throw up, although I’ve thought of doing both. I just think about what I eat ALL THE TIME!!! I feel really good about myself if I don’t eat much or eat perfectly healthily, and get mad at myself if I eat badly. I am sickeningly jealous of people who can eat whatever they want and be thin, like my super skinny sister. I used to be one of those people, and when I matured and my metabolism slowed, it all went downhill. Now I freak when everyone else is eating ice cream or pizza or candy because I can’t have any and I want to!! I put on a LOT of weight in college, took it off and then some, and everyone commeneted on how great I looked, making me feel like I’m only attractive if I’m really skinny. I then went abroad, and put on a little weight, and I’m so mad at myself for it, because I need to lose weight and I’m sick of doing it! I want to eat pizza, or brownies, or ice cream! I want to stop feeling jealous of my friends with amazing metabolisms.

I think I’m moving forward right now. I’m trying my best to eat normally but I’m finding it really hard. I just got of hyperal so my weight is ok right now but I now it will drop