embrace my bisexuality

I’m 18, and a bisexual female. Only my current boyfriend and my first femail partner know. My dad is a baptist minister, so if he found out he would flip, and prolly kick me out or something. I love the feeling I get when im with a woman. I like it better than men sometimes. I wish I could come out and be accepted for who I am. Agree,feel like talkin?? Email me r3ntchick@aol.com

-Find willing participant.
-Tape sign that says: “bisexuality” onto them
-Hug them

Silliness complete.

I’ve always had to hide it from my boyfriend. (he almost dumped me when we first started dating because of it.) And then he broke my heart a week after he proposed on Valentine’s Day. I know it will hurt him if he sees me with a woman. I’m not going to date women to hurt him, I want to date women because I know I am attracted to women.

Years ago I finally came to terms with the fact that I was attracted to women. It was a long slow process, but when I finally came out it was such a sense of relief. I have since had several relationships that I will always cherish.

I have always maintained that I believe that most people are at least a little bisexual. I have always thought of myself as around 70/30 (70% for women, 30% for men), but for the past few years I haven’t had any interest in actually dating men.

I think one of the reasons that I didn’t want to is that there is a lot of negativity towards bisexuality in the LGTB community. There is the attitude that a person should just decide one way or the other. Some lesbians in particular feel as though that bisexual women are ‘just going through a phase’ or ‘trying to have their cake and eat it too’. And I have to admit… I have felt the same way. The first girl I fell really hard for was falling for me too – but she had a boyfriend. I didn’t let myself get involved, but she seemed to want to be with me on the side, while still maintaining her relationship with her boyfriend.

...It’s never fun to be second best.

I think that’s why a lot of lesbians don’t like the idea of bisexuality. So often, the relationship between two women as seen as secondary. The “real” relationships are with men, and the relationships with women are “just for fun”.

If you are in this situation, please don’t feel as though I’m knocking your way of life. I know several people in these kinds of situations now, and that is what works for them, it’s what makes them happy. And really, when it comes down to it, that’s what’s important. I see nothing wrong with this lifestyle… I am simply trying to articulate why there is such negativity surrounding bisexuality. And I think it’s because deep down, no one wants to be second best.

There is also the issue that bisexual people can live a “normal” life, free of discrimination. I have to admit, that part of it still makes me feel guilty. If I do end up with a guy, my life would be so much easier than if I ended up with a girl. I still feel as though it’s a betrayal, it’s as though I would be taking the easy way out. I’m still working out this part for myself… but when it comes down to it, there is no point in missing out on a great opportunity simply due to stubbornness.

I will always be attracted to women, but I’ve recently accepted that I’m attracted to men too – and that there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t happen nearly as often… but when it does I won’t dismiss it simply because I feel that I have to “choose sides”. When it comes to relationships, it’s the person inside that really matters.

I mean being on my own and knowing I’m bisexual. I just can’t do it around other people, which is odd because I see nothing wrong with it (when it’s other people…) and none of my friends are bothered about bisexuality (two other girls in our group of friends are “out”), but I just can’t admit that I like both males and females. I sometimes talk to one of my bi friends about it but even then I cringe, and this has ceased since she told a guy my secret. She said she doesn’t like that I don’t admit it, which I could understand her maybe getting a little angry about because it looks like (or is?) that I’m ashamed, but I still think it was my place to tell people if, and when, and who I want to. Woops, went off on a slight tangent there… =P Getting back to the point… does anyone who’s been here have any ideas what to do? I’d be so grateful! Thanks.

YEs! I finally make out with the girl that i’ve liked for over a year now. She is openiong up to me and we’ve been making out and all looks well. I’m so happy because hse’s the only girl i really want right now and i’m glad that she Finally Trust me…

Now, to the next Level…LOL!

to a lot of my friends, a few co-workers, and my loving supportive boyfriend. hooray!!

i have recently either identified myself sexually or only begun to question it. again. long story; here’s the gist:

i came out to someone i trusted at 15. she told a lot of people. i went to a small christian highschool. nuff said there.

i sort of had a causal thing with this woman. it was new. i enjoyed. sometimes, thinking back, much more than i enjoy men.

now, here we are. i have a crush on a woman i know. i will never pursue it, rather i try to avoid it. not think about it, not think of her, not fantasize, even casually of kisses, with her. i love my boyfriend. this, however, has been a problem for me for years in relationships with men. i presume it to be similar in any possible relationship with a woman. i am struggling and incredibly sexually frustrated, to be frankly honest.

he knows, or at least, entertains the idea that i am attracted to woman, that i will probably always. the two largest problems with this are:

1) i wonder if i will always have this frustration to deal with? part of me feels that my boyfriend and i need to take a break so that i can better understand my own sexual identity. even that i should have try at a legitamite relationship with a woman to explore it. but that seems awfully unfair too.

and 2) he gets more jealous of my friends who are women and lesbian or bisexual than he does about men. this means that my co-workers, old friend and new ones are all suspect. it drives me insane. and it maeks him insecure, worse than he already is.

what would you do, whoever reads this, whoever has filled these shoes, or understands my head today…..

Here and Queer

I’m accepting, I’m embracing and I’m enjoying…