become motivated

I’ve been battling depression for several years now which hasn’t helped me trying to gain some motivation to start controlling my life. I use to sleep all day and not get up til about 3 p.m. Which I stopped taking a certain depression med that I think made me sleep more then I should. I’m currently on another type of depression medicine that I’ve been taking ever since 3 years ago. I am starting to think that it’s not working for me anymore.
Lately for about 2 months now it’s been harder for me to bother doing anything. I hate the fact I feel as if it’s de ja vu, where it’s the same thing over and over again. I have barely any interest in things that use to excite me. Everytime I want to pursue something I always overthink and get discourage.
I then think about suicide, which isn’t a good answer in anything.
God i’m such a loser.

I’m on the upswing of life and starting to become motivated. Here’s how: ME. I get unmotivated when other people try to push me to “get motivated.” The more they push, the more I want to be alone and unproductive. I’m moving into an apartment by myself and I’m using a journal to write about life, and another one to begin my book. Having an early morning commitment JUST for the sake of BEING UP EARLY is a GREAT idea. For example, yoga at 720 am got me to do a TON of things in the last two days including find an apartment, find parking, rent the apartment, fix my ipod, pick up my computer, write in my journal, read my book, buy a new work shirt, etc.

Becoming motivated is something that I have recently realized would definitely be a factor in helping me on the road to getting my life back to where it once was if not better than it was.

I seem to get depressed when I think about where my life is in comparison to where it was last year around this time. I went from having my own place, two jobs that I enjoyed, a car, and a life that was seemingly comfortable and happy. Its crazy how a single event can send your life tumbling into a terrible whirlwind that it seems you have no control of. In a short amount of time it seem as if I was losing everything which I was. Long story short I have ended up back at home with no car and no job. I have been unemployed for almost nine months now. Other events have since then added to my level of depression.

Not too long ago one morning I was sitting on the couch doing nothing as usual just watching tv and eating; and I began to just feel extremely down and depressed about life. Its like I know what I need to do to begin to get my life back on track, but I cannot find my motivation, my ambitiousness, my thrive and determination to accomplish things in life and be happy. Which right now I don’t know how to be happy or better yet what is true happiness if there is indeed such thing.

For starters I need tips on finding my motivation and I can begin to get my life back.

Ah, what a wonderful thing.
What helped me get motivated? Leadership camp. It was the best experience of my life. Really.
I’ve figured some things out. And now I want to do better. But, even though I’m motivated I don’t really have that many goals. I should work on that…

Ups:
- Managed to get myself to go to the gym three days straight.
- Managed to start going every other day to the gym.
- Thought about my goals and stayed on a machine for 60 minutes with no breaks or cool downs.

Downs:
- Started slacking and went down to 20 minutes.
- Started losing motivation and haven’t gone for about 3-4 days.
- Put myself down each day I didn’t go

This is definitely harder than it sounds.

I am taking this goal step by step so as not to burn myself out. I have been working hard at keeping up with day to day tasks as well as remaining moivated to completing extra things that I have put off for a long time.
I am uber thrilled at not procrastinating this month with all the bills, something I am famous for. Not that there isn’t cash to pay the bills but because I am so lazy when it comes to buying stamps (thats for the bills I dont pay online), writing out checks and organzing my time more wisely.

I have taken on re-doing my oldest daughters bedroom as she growing up. I refinished my late grandmothers enameled kitchen table and painted the table (sans the enale top) a bright glossy white. I also redid some old wooden 3 drawer file cabinets in the same glossy white. Now to tackle the bookshelves (purging and exchanging her out grown childrens books)and replacing them with some more mature books. So that leads to moving the out dated books to her younger brother and sisters rooms and another mission of organization starts there.

I have started tackling my PC problem today which has led to an enormous headache-still cant get my windows media player to work despite getting brand new speakers for my 40th bday. If I could tackle that then I could finally download my new mp3 player.
Slowly I am working on things-slowly. Motivation isnt the problem, its remaining motivated that will prove to be my downfall I am afraid.

often circumstances motivate

but you can create you own

=)

I started by cleaning out some drawers. Baby steps. Sounds insignifigant but to me I accomplished a lot. Over the weekend I purged old meds in my bathroom and without thinking flushed an entire bottle of prescribed painkillers down the toilet. To me, I take that as a sign that I didnt truly need them—-but it sounds so ridiculous all the same.

Christmas decorations boxed up. I started de-tarnishing a copper lobster pot I found in my grandmothers home. That will take some serious time but the end result will be lovely I am sure. The object is to never have idle hands. Never.

If I could be as motivated as my baby, I could move mountains. She’s into everything. She will try to shove her way past me to get what she wants. Mighty Mouse, she is. On her tiptoes, even leaving the ground, pulling herself up the bathroom counter to reach the toothpaste & brushes. I hope she stays this way. I want to be like her!

I am about the most unmotivated person i know. I used to be totally opposite. I use to wake up everymorning at 5.15am to go rowing and then go to all of my classes and study really hard then i would train again in the afternoon. I was motivated to do homework, exercise, normal everyday things but now im lazy and im 2 weeks behind on school work and the last time i exercised was about 2 weeks ago and it was probablly just to wake to the shop! Im really serious about getting it togeather and doing the things i love…starting right now