Do all I can to support Bumble and her little girl

Brain ultrasound results Monday showed no water on the brain and no signs of brain abnormalities.

And the real scary one, the MRI results, came today. Nerves have grown as hoped between the spine and the legs. The doctors say that there is a very good chance she will walk one day and there are not spinal surgeries in her future (fingers crossed).

She’s having her first foot surgery on Thursday so cross your fingers early in the morning for good results from that.

I’m so very very relieved for Pep and for Bumble.

The spine question is a bit more resolved. As I understand it, Pepper does not have a sacrum which is, you know, not good. The possibility of her ever walking seems to be decreasing. But, as Bumble’s doctor said, “Some children do, some don’t”.

Her hips are more messed up than thought previously (because of this? not sure) so they’ve decided to stop using the harness and have started the process of casting her feet

Plus she has colic. Whee!

On the 4th, we were over at my dad’s and poor Pep was just crying and crying and crying. I was holding her and walking her because Bumble just couldn’t do it anymore and you could just see the gas pains, She’d nod off and then you’d feel this massive tummy rumble and the screams of pain would start again. So I guess some days are just like that all day long? Bumble said so. And she was massaging Pep’s tummy and Pep was screaming and I was watching her hot pink casts bob back and forth and Bumble said, “You know, you just want to be able to love your baby.”

The sadness of all that stayed with me, like a rock for about a day and a half.

So my goal is to make sure I talk to Bumble in some way every day. And keep telling her that I am available. That I can come over anytime and hold Pep. Whatever!

I seem to be Pepper’s go to party holder. I’ve done quite a bit of soothing at the various gatherings and all. She responds well to shhhhing and to lights and flowers strategically positioned over my shoulder.

She’s been having a rough time with gas. Not full on colic but a lot of bad tummy times. Which is normal but, as with all things Pepper related, it’s scary since what else might it indicate? The early sonogram to review the spine and the internal organs has been thrown out as less than lovely and she’s due for another one in Oakland tomorrow.

Bumble’s doing pretty well. Up and down, of course. We’ve had some long talks. One recently when she was really down where I just sympathized and reminded her how this time of newbornness will pass and told her how wildly sad I was at about 2 weeks in. I guess it was one of those times when you just need to cry and talk. She said it really helped and she felt much better the next day.

I’m just continuing to call and to make myself available. Hoping for good news about the digestive system from tomorrow’s test.

Pepper was sleeping on the couch with Lance. Bumble was sleeping in the bedroom after a rough night.

Brought flowers. Folded what looked like 6 loads of laundry. Snuck out again.

They’re at home. Tried to bring them dinner but Lance already had something going in the crockpot so just brought corn on the cob.

Bumble is as tired as one would expect but Pepper is nursing well and doing pretty good. She’s been moving her legs a lot so that’s calming a lot of the worst case spina bifida fears. Her bladder seems to be one of the biggest problems still – how much of it is present and how well it is functioning but everyone seems optimistic. And she had her harness on to help correct her hips.

I got to hold her for a bit. She’s so teeny! We don’t have a lot of seven pound babies in our family. She was dozing most of the time but every once in a while she would open an eye and check us out.

The chum was enchanted. He kept petting her “She has not so much hair but she has hair!” and asking those kid questions that vaguely concern you, “You should not throw a baby, right, Mommy?”

He watched her get changed and plugged his ears in case she got too loud (she didn’t) and coveted all her baby gear. “I am too big for this bouncy seat. Mommy, am I too big?”

His sweetest was while petting her arm, “Her skin is the softest thing I ever touched in my whole life!”

Bumble and Lance seemed pretty good, all things considering. It’s all just a fog there at the beginning – even in the best of circumstances.

Some of the worst fears seem to not be coming true. They had a good trip to the children’s hospital and will have a MRI in a week. Nice that the specialists didn’t think it was an emergency.

Today was too crazy at our house to get over there but the chum will finally get to meet her tomorrow. Happy about that. Happy they’re all home.

Lil Pep had her ultrasound today. No news on the internal front.

She’s got some floating vertabrae that need to be hooked up with the rest of the spinal column right away (second hand info makes for this wildly medical info) so I guess surgery early this week for that.

We are so lucky to have super fab insurance that will cover all of this stuff for her. And to live so close to world class pediatric hospitals. I guess now is a bit of the repayment for GG and his monthly pediatric blood donations.

Pep and Bumble are planning to come home tomorrow so hopefully we’ll be able to visit there. The chum is very excited to see his “little sister”.

when you don’t know if you’re having a baby and you don’t know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl and people ask you what you want and you say, “I just want it to be healthy?”

But sometimes it’s not. And the internet is a really really scary place when you start googling birth defects and babies are so very little and helpless and it’s just not fair.

I mean, hopefully everything will be ok, right? With operations? And casts? And braces? She will walk one day, won’t she?

Tests start on Monday.

EDIT – and none of her friends know anything about this so PLEASE don’t say anything on Facebook.