leave the past behind

I am working on living in the present and focusing on what I can work on. I am realizing that I do have to do the work though in order to move on.

call ala and tell her that my mobile is over.

I AM GIVING MY CELLPHONE A BREAK FOR THE SAME REASON, SO I WON’T REMEMBER THAT HE CALLS OR SENDS MESSAGES, THE TROUBLE IS I KEEP DOING THE SAME MISTAKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN, .........JUST FOR A WHILE UNTIL I CLEAR UP AGAIN FOR THIS MELANCHOLIA …......:(

he called and called and insisted and insisted, i met him in the end…:( and he seemed like serious…i don’t know his intentions, guys are assholes in this country, so i was doubtful because he did it many times before to leave without a trace. Well, i sent him messages, but it was me who promised things this time and never came back to him, not for revenge, i didn’t have it on mind, i am not that type of person who could waste her time on such issues. :D

Anyhow, he thought this was it, i returned to call him back and tell him that i cared for him and i was just busy, infact, it did look like a revenge, but it is never that. ;)

So, again, he left without a trace,i can’t blame myself anymore or blame him, he is just not trust worthy, if he really cares, he wouldn’t go that easy.

the idea, is i did mistreat myself for nothing at all….again, heartbreak for nothing. because i am silly, he is silly…......and here we go.

i am giving my cellphone a break after wednesday

MHMD called me…and i told him to back off, he is just in the past right now, and i don’t think we will have any common future, he is living in a world else than mine…and i am as well just the same…so let it be.

left all the names of yesterday, in the past pages, to meet some dust and find their beloved flee. I am all free from any UNAVAILABLE man…Good bye

So the past holds the key to our future they say. I have done alot of things in the past. Some things I’m not proud of and some that I would shout from a rooftop.
Some things I need to let go of.
I can’t be specific. . really its just those random thoughts during the day that make me go .. what if? And really life moves forward. I need to check myself and snap out of it. There is no going back. There never will be. Why would I want something completely unrealistic?

I think I’ve done it, it was so hard to do but my ex boyfriend came in with his mum to my place of work and I went over and said hi when I cleared their table. He smiled and looked so relieved. He hurt me and it was my decision not to be friends but I think that its good we can be civil and I said hello, I’m proud of myself. I can breathe finally.