get my mojo back

Like the Entwives of old, I’ve gone and lost it, and now I need it back, but I cannot find it.

It was here about a day or two ago, for an hour or so, but to be honest, I think it was only saying goodbye – maybe giving me it’s forwarding address sans zip code or city.

I forget why it left. Was it sick with the self-pity, or did it want a relationship where I acknowledged how much I couldn’t do without it? Or that day, that fateful day, last month when I settled for something else, someone else, rather than my mojo?

I realize now I was wrong, I made a mistake – I want it back, won’t it come back?

Now I have to look for it in new people and unexpected places, and in the dark corners and the playground of my head, where the swings have rusted and the flowers are long dead – in the brightness of religion or the stench of condemnation. I don’t care what it’s done, I want it.

Dammit, I’ve lost my mojo and, dammit, I want it – I want it back!

Since I finished my masters I’ve been feeling a bit empty. A few of my friends have left the country/are moving on. I realise that perhaps the people I had been so desirious (a year ago) to meet on the course, were not the soul mates I had hoped for, but rather temporary friends. Henar, Helene, Jamie, Francesca. Maybe in less than a year they will all have gone. Do I feel sad about this? I’m not sure, I’m old and wise enough to realise that nto everyone you meet will be with you or will make a large imprint on you. Anyway, after years of working on who I am my physiciality/mentality. I’m ready just to be, so tired of living on the inside looking out. I don’t want to look through windows.

I understand how this happen, just don’t know how to fix it. What do you do when you let someone turn you into something your not. And because you’ve been that way for so long, you forget how to be yourself?

I left work again and I feel like my MOJO stayed there….Boo-Hoo=(

I’m weeding done my list to 10 active items. Perhaps I will weed it down further. I need to focused. Time is passing me by. I need to prioritize and focus on first things first. I must complete many other things before I can hold any reasonable expectation of achieving this goal.

In some ways I think that is the whole point of what I’m doing on 43.

I think once I get mobility as in wheels again I’ll be much better off. Also, getting financially solvent and in shape would probably lock it.

helping me with this goal. :0)

that I found on another thread. I wish more men felt this way.

Beauty is beyond the surface
...beauty is something others try to sell you as an image of imperfection and incompleteness. They need you believe that you are on the very edge of Beauty, but not quite there. They need you to be unhappy, they need you to feel incomplete. They NEED you this way so that they can sell you the next THING.

They try to sell us all this image so that we all buy in and support their efforts to cause you to buy the next thing that WILL make you beautiful.

They will lie to you about what it takes to find beauty, they will misdirect you to false paths because once you find true beauty you won’t need them any more.

Perhaps you need to find the path to the rest of that which makes beauty radiate forth. That path is through understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and recognizing your worth to the world and to those around you. You will not find this in the cosmetic counters, the gyms, the clothing departments, or any thing you buy. You will find it inside yourself. Learn and know yourself and the inner beauty will shine forth.

I really am, meaning that I’m defining mojo as a whole-person concept and not just sexual confidence or charisma, although it can be inclusive of those qualities.

I still don’t have any desire to have a r/ship or even date. Or rather, my desire to do so is overshadowed by my negative feelings about it. I’m considering maybe, MAYBE, going on a “test drive” date (i.e. you’re not THAT interested, so you’re able to relax and get into the swing of dating again). I don’t know. It would require some intiative on my part and my window of opportunity may have already passed.

Hmph.

music needed. fem. oriented. “i am woman hear me roar” not an option. no country. pref. alt. rock or pop. this is not a drill. please post asap. thank you. the management.