fall down a flight of steps

Really, this is just a dimwitted goal.
I fall down stairs all the time.
Grievous bruises are not alluring, at all.

in junior high – so embarassing

This happened on my 8th birthday. I didn’t get hurt at all; just got up and took off running again, but my mother tells me that there was a pregnant lady present in the room at the bottom of the stairs and she had such a shock that her water broke! So she went into labor and had her baby on that day because of me (supposedly)!

I fell down the stairs while PREGNANT! Granted, I was early in my first trimester and did not even know for sure I was pregnant yet, but even so. I hadn’t slept much in a couple of days because I’d had a lot going on with school and my parents were in town and thought taking me out to breakfast at an ungodly hour when I didn’t have class until 10:00 was a good idea. I was walking out of one of my classes and missed a step. Next thing I know I’m sprawled out on the ground, and my right ankle and my left knee are killing me. My right ankle basically hit the ground at a 90-degree angle, bearing my full weight, and then I bruised my knee pretty bad, too. My ankle still hurts from time to time, a little over nine months later, and it’s probably always going to (probably always going to just randomly give out on me at inconvenient times, too?). For a time I blamed losing the baby on my clumsiness (which did NOT happen immediately after falling! That was a few weeks later!), but now I don’t, so I can look back on this as just another one of my stupid accidents and not feel too much guilt.

I use to live in Italy in this old castle on a student exchange. One rainy day on the way to class (which was in the former dungeon) I took the top step of the stone spiral a tad too quickly and slipped. The stairs were wet from all the other people traipsing up and down, in and out of the rain, and so I continued to fall, step by step on my butt. I have a spinal fusion with metal implants and I hit the bottom of my rods on every step, all the way down. I was really hurt and not anxious to repeat the situation.

And then…

Last year in England I was upstairs alone at a relative’s house, there was a knock at the door and as I turned on the stairs my foot slipped on the slick carpet. I went rolling down the stairs like Indiana Jones’ boulder and crashed into the wall. I made it to the door, limping and a little teary, and was more hurt that another relative, who was doing the knocking, didn’t even ask if I was okay or seem to care.

Hopefully I won’t have a third installment to this tale of clumsiness!

not as fun as it sounds

not really fell down, so much as skid down the outer inch on the heels finishing on the feet and then saying holy shit; I wish someone got that on tape.

I once fell down 3 flights of steps in a subway station in Madrid, Spain. I didn’t land on my feet. But both myself and my broom emerged relatively unscathed.

I was carrying an enormous, heavy, vintage sewing machine built into a table down a flight of steps. I couldn’t see where I was going and I slipped. I managed to fall down the entire flight of steps and land on my feet without hurting either myself or the sewing machine. (Kids: don’t try this at home.)

Ouch!