Take time to centre and feel open and relaxed before seeing M.

at how much better I feel around M… and how much more relaxed he seems to be too. WOW!! I feel so much happier in general at work and I feel like it spills over to other staff too. How much more relaxed and comfortable and happy and OPEN will I be in a month’s time??

Also… I was watching this movie the other night and there was a love scene that actually totally turned me on. Movie love scenes are normally pathetic or gross or cheesey.. but this was amazing. I wonder if the two actors actually have a connection, because you could really see it. Anyways, it was just them French kissing and then the scene is interrupted… but them kissing was amazing. It made me yearn for that “rapport” myself. Not just kissing some dude.

I’ve been matching and mirroring him like crazy too—and not always consciously. It’s fun :) And I’m totally getting there. We are totally getting there :D

I knew I wouldn’t see him today, so I texted him and called him “sunshine”... he texted me back calling me “dear”.... ah.

Tomorrow I won’t see him… but that’s ok.

Yesterday went super well! I felt really good around him, and I noticed he was definitely less awkward than other times.

I feel so much happier and it’s easy to be myself around him. I made an effort to touch him and be a bit of a flirt.

I had the most amazing dream last night where he said he had something to tell me, and then kissed and nibbled my ear. In my dream I jumped with surprise, but he continued and I felt so phenomenal. I very gently brushed my fingers over his side and over his hands. I can’t wait for it to actually happen. I’m going to stay centred and relaxed and stay with him—no surprises!

He hurt his hand on the patio umbrellas—so I’ll ask him about the sore paw on Sunday and hold his hand.

for a week I will do this. And I’ll see him at least once, socially.