I am a jolly person by nature, i joke, i smile, i giggle and kid.
I am contemplative, but sincere about it.
there are times however that like anyone else, i can get down.
It was something that became an epic battle in rainy vancouver because of the unrelenting greyness of the place, the spittering of rain that seemed to sound like bored little fingers tapping feverishly on my mind.
I came away from that place, hoping that that feeling would wash off with enough sun and family to keep me busy, and well… it has but there are pitfalls to being me.
I have been working too hard.
I have been sleeping lightly.
I have been hot and sweaty, and scraped and scratched raw.
I have been the shoulder that gets leaned on,
I have been the friend who is too busy.
This is a part of my life here.
This is a part of what makes life good.. these down times, to remind us all how great being great is.
I was told today that ‘it is more apparent when you are down because you are generally the most optimistic person in the shop’. This is true, and has been, but its also a bit of a raincoat.
I plaster my smile to ward off bad omens, and i pitch my tent on dry and happy ground to protect the little soft me that very few people see clearly.
I am in the down swing right now, and it is best to remember that it is a swing. that it will come back up, that life is swim along side me and there will be other great fish in the sea, lovers, opportunities, great days at the beach, friends, keeping me company.
Its okay to be glum, no need to pretend otherwise, but its dangerous to let glum rule the day. I will not fill my shoes with concrete, i will make foam floats for them so i can walk on water like the frivolous inventors of the nineteen twenties always seem to be doing in history books.
I will love today even though it beat me up a little, i will love tomorow or the next day or whenever a great little birdsnest of joy is found.
begone glum, i’ll sleep better knowing we parted on good terms. 21 months ago