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invest time into relationships

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Elusive SleuthMore time, more relationships

I’ve been making a huge effort with this goal recently. I think last year I lacked the confidence to get involved in some situations but that is different this year. Having a better living environment has been good for me :)

I have made sure to maintain and strengthen the relationships that I do have which is important. Even if it’s just saying hi to someone I know or stopping to chat for a few minutes :) I’ve also joined a couple of different clubs and have met new people that way. I’ll be spending more time with them and getting to know them better in the next couple of months as I go on more club trips.

I also met someone in the weekend and there was a bit of mutual interest, but then I found out that they have a girlfriend (and i’m no boyfriend stealer). We’ll be seeing each other around abit. We had a chat today and I feel better about the situation (was a bit awkward to begin with). I feel grown up and responsible about it. I guess it’s all an ongoing learning experience. But why are they always taken?

On the way home I ran into K (who I met and wrote about here). We chatted awhile but it was 9pm and we were both on our way home for dinner. I came home feeling rather light headed. I wish I knew how he felt. I wish we could catch up properly sometime.

Lots of relationships, some with boys, but no real relationship.
sigh I’ll be focussing on this goal quite a bit over the coming months. :) 3 years ago


Elusive Sleuth"Thank you"

I’ve been spending a bit more time with some people i’ve met who have asked me to flat with them next year. Tonight, they asked me around for dinner which really touched me. They did so discretely so that my flatmates don’t know (because they also happen to be friendly with my flatmates, and I think my flatmates wouldn’t be pleased about me being asked instead of them).

Earlier today the 4 flatmates were discussing going out to dinner together. Oh – wait a minute. They were discussing going out to dinner, but without me. I really don’t care. I’d rather not go out to dinner with them, but I find the fact that they discussed this in front of me to be quite rude. I had no dinner plans, and hadn’t taken anything out of the freezer to defrost, and then all of a sudden I get a knock on my window asking me around to dinner. :)

I guess this just proves that not every relationship is worth the time. There are some that no amount of time will improve. In fact, I think not spending time with one flatmate in particular has really improved the relationship (I can’t stand the sound of her voice). And then there are the relationships that are completely worth it.

Oh, one other thing. I made a cake for the flat next door :) There is a flat of 5 boys next door and I felt a bit silly that i’ve lived here more than 6 months and hardly know them. So I made them a cake and chatted with them and they were incredibly grateful, much more so than my grumpy flatmates! My flatmates said “ooh you’ve made a cake!” assuming it was for them. Haha no way. 3 years ago


Elusive SleuthRelationships: Numerous

I’m not 100% sure where to put this entry

Last night I was invited out to a “plate and a mate” get together at the hall I live in. Since i’ve moved in i’ve seen a lot of people around but i’ve found it hard to get to know them. This all changed when a girl from the University of Leeds arrived on exchange. She’s so socialble it’s quite amazing. She’s only lived here a few weeks and already she knows everyone, has everyones numbers and has numerous plans with them all. She hosted a “plate and a mate” last night, and pretty much invited everyone here! I got the chance to meet all of the people I recognise and puts names to faces. I also met this odd boy who keeps turning up wherever I am (uni, the theatre, this party) and it turns out he lives nearby. I had a great night getting to know everyone there and then had an amazing 10 hour sleep afterwards; I was exhausted.

One more thing. I think i’ve mentioned here before that I love the british accent. I think it’s divine and I want to marry it. There were quite a few british people there including one rather nice looking british boy so I also had a great time listening to them all talk! :) 3 years ago


Elusive SleuthFamily

I had a cup of tea with my nana yesterday and we talked about family history. We talked about where she was born, where she grew up, how she came to live here now and how we have a mountain and road named after us because our family used to own a giant farm, which has since been cut and and subdivided and is now a suburb. She has kept a photo album and filled with with photos of how the suburb changed over time. It started out as a farm with a cottage, then her and her husband built their house, then a road was built past her house, then the farm was split up and sold for about 300pounds for half a acre. After we’d gone through hundreds of photos (including some of my mum’s wedding which i’d never seen before) her niece and nephew in law stopped by and said hi. I’d never met them and she hadn’t seen them for years. They were quite interesting so i’m glad I met them. :)

I’m really glad I spoke to Nana and stopped and tried to see things from her perspective. 3 years ago


Elusive SleuthInvesting

A good friend of mine texted me last Monday to let me know he was changing cellphone networks. I got around to texting him back this evening asking how life was. Unexpectedly, he called me. He has a new phone plan which gives him a lot of free minutes. We ended up chatting for 40 minutes about everything that’s happened since February (that’s when I last saw him). I got off the phone grinning from ear to ear. It was so good to hear from him! I’ve known him since I was 10 but we didn’t used to get along because we were both very clever, and quite competitive throughout school. In the last few years at school we excelled in different areas, the rivalry subsided and our friendship improved. I hope to catch up with him in person sometime this year. He is thinking about coming to Wellington, but if not I may see him if I go through his city where he’s studying. I’m considering changing my plan, as i’d love an affordable plan in which I can keep in touch with friends by phone so easily! There is always skype, but not all of my friends are on skype.

On another note, I met someone who is from the same area as me and she has invited me out for drinks with a group of her friends tomorrow night. I figured this will be very good for meeting new people in Wellington, and building a network of acquantinces and friends here. Also, i’m meeting up with someone for coffee this weekend. I met her when I moved into my student accomodation and ran into her last week at the Ball and had a catch up. :) 3 years ago


Elusive SleuthA healthy dose of Time

A friend of mine flew down to Wellington on a university trip recently and we managed to spend a fair bit of time together, which was quite good for our friendship. Since we finished school I haven’t seen her as much, but did manage to catch up with her twice over summer. She also got to meet my boyfriend, whom she liked very much. :)

A few years back our friendship got a serious dent in it, and it was neither of our doings. A mutual friend (who is no longer a mutual friend) decided to pass on information which should’ve been kept to themselves. As a result, I withdrew. It may not have been the best decision, but it was how I dealt with it at the time, when the situation was too daunting to face up to. Time passed, and when I felt ready to I made the effort to improve our friendship. I’m really glad I did because the more time we spend together the more I realise what a great friend she is. I’ve known her since I was 10 and we’ve been friends pretty much since we met.

I showed her around parts of Wellington, and took her to one of my university tutorials which she enjoyed. I also cooked her dinner and then we did assorted girly things like try on dresses, talk about boys, drink red wine, dance, laugh and stay up late talking. :) Oh, and in between dinner and sleep we went out to meet up with some of her friends (also on the uni trip). We talked about some things that I wouldn’t talk to other friends about, which made me really grateful that I have her as a friend. :)

On another note, another relationship in my life is about to get a much-needed dose of time. My beloved boyfriend, who I left behind when I went to university, is very much looking forward to seeing me next friday. Which is 7 days away It will have been 6 weeks since i’ve seen him, and next friday could seriously not come any faster. I cannot wait! ♥ We have already planned a few things: ice-skating, hot pools, midnight picnics etc.

Sometime on my university break I also have to invest some time into my relationship with my text books…. :)4 years ago


Elusive SleuthWeekend

I took advantage of the weekend to invest time into a friendship, and attend a 21st birthday party. The party was about 7 hours away though. I wasn’t sure about driving there and back myself for the party, as it seemed a long way, and I was planning to work that weekend. It was a long weekend, so the traffic would’ve been bad, and as well as that there’s the cost of petrol. I ended up getting in touch with the birthday boy, and found out that he had a friend who lives nearby who was going down, and I got a lift with him. I’d known of him before, and added him on facebook a little while ago, but hadn’t met him before this weekend. I was a little uncertain (more than my mum was I think :)), but all of my worries were for nothing! I got along really well with him, and also with several others that I met that night. I’m really grateful that I took the time to stay with B on my road trip (I knew how to get to his place), and to go to his party because he knows some really cool people. They were intelligent, interesting, and motivated. I’ve been hoping to meet people like this for awhile now!

It was quite a whirlwind weekend. It was all decided upon very suddenly (which is not usually how things are for me). I wasn’t sure about going to the party, where I only knew one person, in a city far from home, but I went, felt safe every second and had an awesome time! :) After the party itself we went out dancing, which I haven’t done in awhile. I’ve missed dancing!

The networking that took place that night was really interesting. It just shows what a small world it is. Everyone there knew someone who knew someone who knew me, or knew someone who I knew. :)

But the most important time that I invested into a relationship in the whole weekend would have to be with the guy who gave me a lift there and back. And that has to go into an entry of it’s own… ;) 4 years ago


Elusive SleuthPeople Time

I made Nick the chocolate cake i’d promised him. :) I like to do the things that I say i’ll do. :)

I also caught up with a very good friend of mine (if only very briefly). I had dinner across the road from his house, and asked my sister if she minded us stopping in to say hi, because otherwise I wouldn’t have had the chance to see him before I left the city. I’m so glad I saw him! :) It was great! He’s such a lovely positive person, I left his place smiling. :) 4 years ago


Elusive SleuthI was doing ok with this goal. Was.

I’m not sure what happened. I added this goal to help with several things happening in my life. But now…

I still do want to invest time into relationships. But one of the reasons why I added this goal is not being addressed with my current goals.

I need to think it through. I don’t think it’s something that spending time with other people can fix. I need to sort it myself.

I was doing ok with this goal. Was. Then I lost motivation. I’ll get it back. :)

this goal is perhaps one of the most important to me at the moment4 years ago


Elusive SleuthGood Times

I feel like i’ve really thrown myself into this goal. :)

Because i’ve been off work, road-tripping, i’ve had spare time, which i’ve invested into relationships. I’ve spent some time with family members who I don’t see much (though family relationships are usually stronger.) And yesterday I caught up with some school friends who I haven’t seen since last November! They invited to a foam party with them, and then I stayed the night at their apartment. R and I have been friends since we were 12, and we basically just talked non-stop the whole time we were together, because we had so much to catch up on! I also met up with someone else from school later that night.

The next day we went out to breakfast and I shouted them coffee/mocca’s etc because I am working, but they are students :)

Later that day I caught up with a guy I met last year, and following that, I bussed out to where a friend from school was working, and took him ice-skating!! :D He didn’t finish work until an hour after I arrived, so I kept him company, then we got dinner together, waited for the ice hockey game to finish and the rink to open, then went ice skating for a few hours! :) It was so good to see him and to catch up, he is such an awesome fun guy, the kind you want to stay in touch with. :)

As well as investing time into relationships, i’ve been really enjoying myself, part of my goal to have fun! :) I volunteered to help out at my sisters work today, and had a great time! It was also good to network and meet the people she works with. They all thought I was crazy for volunteering, but I thought it was fun :)

Such good work on this goal! :D Just a few more relationships I need to invest in… one in particular, i’m hoping to meet up with this guy I met a month or so ago… :) 4 years ago


Elusive SleuthCompromise

I’ve found a middle ground for all of my relationship/friendship/staying single/get[ting] a boyfriend goals.

I’m not sure if i’ve been clear about this, but I suffer loneliness, some times worse than others. Awhile back I was quite stressed about how I would manage things once i’d left school. I think i’ve done ok since then, things have definitely improved. First I added the goal ‘make new friendships’, as leaving school means everyone follows different paths. I worked at the goal for awhile and have made new friends, but I found that while the goal was on my list I was constantly analysing other peoples relationships/friendships, and asking myself things like How does one meet people? and how does one form friendships? It really began to get on my nerves, and as my perspective on relationships/friendships changed, I began to think that my goals didn’t line up with what I wanted to achieve.

I don’t think that I have close friends that I can relate to, because i’ve never met the people i’m looking for.

Last week I wrote a confused entry as I re-evaluated what I wanted to achieve. I decided that my focus has shifted now. I think the wording of this new goal really reflects that. I want to invest time into the good relationships that I do have. This will mean, keeping in touch with friends who have moved away, and keeping in touch with people i’ve met. Because both involve moving forward. I’ll be making new friends, by investing time into the relationships I have now.

On the other hand, i’m not going to bother investing time into relationships that are unhealthy for me. I cannot have friends who cannot be happy for me, while I be happy for them. It’s not good for self esteem, and not good for my goal of “looking up to myself”. I can’t respect myself if I let others treat me badly. So i’ve taken action in this area recently, and I feel very good about what has happened so far.

I’ve finally found a way to express what I want to achieve, with the wording of this goal, and I feel very good about it. Now I need to put it into action. And yes, I have plans, some of which involve EDIT EDIT EDIT ;)4 years ago


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