be pretty (both on the inside and outside)

I know I am, I just don’t feel that way sometimes. That’s how God wants me to feel and that’s how He feels about me so I should start thinking that way

well, i have come a long way in my teen years, ok i’m only 15 lol
but i remember when i wa 12/13 and i had the worst confidence. I had spots, i hated how i looked. but i drew on the love of others around me, epecially my mum- she reassured me every day, told me
i was
beautiful.
my confidence slowly went up. I not the most confident girl in the world now, but i try to love myelf. I just need to ort out my food issues. I want to do this goal to solidify my confidence.
sorry this is long, but its nice to get the feeling out

well, the main source of my bad skin was this fucked up ovary of mine!! yay, so now it’s out.
but that means that as my body is readjusting to the hormonal imbalance, i’m going to look randomly shitty for a bit.
seriously, i’ll have flawless skin one day, then i’ll wake up with eight zits. and the next day, they’re gone!!
but so far, i’ve had more good skin days than not.

and i’m feeling good about myself, except my stomach is kinda disfigured and swollen (for now) from the surgery. that’s not too hot.

i’ve been told i have a pretty bone structure,
or that i have pretty eyes, but whatever.

i want to FEEL pretty.
&& it’s pretty freaking hard to feel pretty when you’re short,
have fat thighs (or “muscular” thighs), have gross acne, and a fake hair color.
oh, and you have to wear KHAKI and WHITE five days a week.

lemme tell you, khaki and white are not your friends when you’re short and trying to look skinny.

i suppose i’ll start with getting back to my natural hair color.
i’m supposed to see my hair dresser next weekend, so i’ll get him to get me back to normal. :]

then, i’ll work on my acne, since i can do that while on bed rest.

as soon as i feel up to it, i’ll search my area for a gym that allows 15 yr olds to work out, and i’ll get back into dance, and i’ll start running on the weekends.

there’s really nothing i can do about the khaki… :[

i strongly believe in the importance of being pretty not only on the outside but also in your heart! it really says something when someone can accomplish both =)

Hmm, I’ve looked at myself in the mirror more often or on my webcam knowing im pretty.

Though i have a VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM, I’m emo, and in school everyone thinks im fugly,

But i think theyre used to my face, and everyone on the internet thinks im prettier than them, when I think theyre prettier than Me!!

Though I dont really care being very pretty or not, i just wished the very pretty people would be nicer more often, if theyre not nice idk why they were born with a pretty face like that or sumthing.

anyways, ill never be like those mean people no matter what, whether im the most beautiful girl in the world or ugly.

=3

Anyways, its nice to feel pretty, but it doesnt really matter, i care bout personality the most!!!

shaved my head and now i’m done.

this is my number one goal.