Express my opinions openly yet respectfully on 43T,diplomatically extricate myself from disagreements that descend into incivility,avoid inflammatory threads,and remember that I will never convince everyone to agree with me (nor is it my place to do so).

I have this under control. Of course, I have LOTS of opinions, and I can be a little pushy and strident with them, but I am trying to be diplomatic.

Done!

this goal had been started earlier, and these discussions/comments had been posted earlier.

I’ve been avoiding writing anything under this goal because I know what I have to say about it will invariably piss someone off. I know there are lots of things on this site that pisses me off when I see them/read them. Most of the time I choose not to comment on them because I believe that people want an audience and want the interaction that comes with arguments. If I believed that I could truly have a discussion about a topic and help inform people of different points of view, I would do that. Unfortunately most of the things that piss me off are done by people that I know would not be open to a civil conversation.

So why am I writing this tonight? Because I was short of cheers today and had to go to Neighborhood Watch to earn some to be able to return the cheers I’d received today while I was out running a half-marathon. What I saw there pissed me off. I have shared my displeasure regarding neighborhood watch and the anonymity that comes with it. I know I’ve offended people I respect, like MaryHawkins, by referring to the people who use NW as Brown Shirts. Tonight there was an individual on there who had posted two links in one message about getting published. The entry talked about how he’s trying to find his voice by working on his blog and this other site. Three people marked him as spam. Did they even go and look at his contributions since he signed up two years ago?

The other one that pissed me off is this one that had six people voting against her, one of whom said “These are ridiculous goals.” Who is judging who here? What makes a goal ridiculous? I want to run 365 days in a row. That’s pretty fricking ridiculuos for someone at age 42 who just started running two years ago. If I was able to see who wrote that comment, I’m sure I could find a ridiculous goal on that person’s list too.

The thing that pisses me off more than the ridiculous comment (which was used as justification on more than just this one NW victim), was that this person who is being targetted above hasn’t been active here for over six months. I would really like to know who has the time to invest in searching for goals that they feel are inappropriate (like currently wanting to be a mermaid or a werewolf) and flagging everyone who has ever had those goals. Is your life so boring that you have to go out and target defenseless people? Shouldn’t you be out there working on achieving your own goals? If someone hasn’t used the site in six months, their account is not spamming anyone, nor is it necessary to purge it.

It was this kind of thing that made me almost delete my account back when NW first became available. I adopted a goal then and posted things for a year to it trying to get myself banned from this site. I’m tempted to start adopting all the targetted goals and posting to them now, but I know there are some sensible people who are working to protect misflagged users. I applaud those of you who are doing that but it just pisses me off too much for me to go on NW. So to be able to mark this goal complete, it’s better for me to avoid NW entirely.

And for the record, I’ve always wanted to be a vampire or werewolf, but not so much a mermaid because I’m not a fan of water.

to resist temptation.
Instead of just making an entry to someone.
Pretend that they are in your presence,
your living room talking with you
And talk to them in a manner that gets your feelings across.

Language and communication are tools we have used since early childhood, many times they are the only tools we have along with our thoughts to mold them into the form we wish…

were just saying the meanest, inappropriate things about the professor when she left the room, just bizarre awful stuff, very personal. I just didn’t say anything and studied my book. But I was thinking they really scare me, and especially one person in the group. I wouldn’t trust her one bit.

And the guy sitting next to me was complaining (again) and I cheerfully said: “But less than a year from now we’ll be nurses, so this is all worth it.”

I received the Look Of Death. It hit me that this group, being negative and mean is their psychological language, and anger will be their response to anything positive (even if it is true). Eventually they are going to attack me like they attack everyone else (and probably already do behind my back). So it hit me to be nice, polite, civil, but to not be too darned happy in front of them lest I leave myself open for real trouble.

So I’m glad I realized that early on, and can just be quiet, and not have to convince anyone of anything. Let them hate the school, teacher, class, etc. I’ll secretly love it and be happy by myself there. I can just ignore the gossip and stay away from Drama. This goal really does apply to Life, too.

Interestingly, I went up to the prof to ask her something, and she turned to me with the most beautiful, brightest smile when she realized it was me. I was bowled over with the sunniness of it, and was surprised cause she’s a tough old ex-military lady, and that’s not her usual style (tho she’s never mean, she’s just All Business). I think she’s happy I’m there too, and that’s just wonderful. It’s got to be hard on her too to deal with these people and the attitudes.

unbelievably rude and uncalled for. I almost commented, but saw both of them aren’t here any more, and I just want to adhere to this goal.

So a little prayer instead…

from a friend of my husband’s asking what I thought of a link. It went to some conspiracy theory, about 13 families controlling the world for eons, etc. I wrote him back saying I don’t know whether this is true or not (I doubt it, but wanted to be polite) but I don’t waste my time on this, or any conspiracy theories, I prefer the here and now. And politely explained why. I’m simple, prefer simple pleasures and thoughts.

He wrote back furious, saying he was cutting me out of his life. I wrote back, even more politely, that I wouldn’t like that but understood. So next email from him was also angry and strange.

So I can’t help that but what I am doing is sticking to this goal, and being as nice as I can about it. If someone reads rudeness into that, it can’t be helped. But I did read my responses to him several times and just didn’t see Rude. I noticed that he seems to be going down a spiritual path that is far different than my husband’s and mine, and I wonder if picking this fight has to do with maybe him not wanting to be our friend anymore but he can’t say that, so he’s finds a reason to disengage the friendship? I don’t know, as I try to be more of a straight shooter in this sort of thing. My responses to him were longer and detailed, while his were quite short and rather cryptic.

jumped into one thread that was kind of mocking someone here that I like, then remembered this goal, didn’t respond, and just sent the person I like warm wishes and fuzzie huggies in my thoughts instead. Because honestly, I really like a lot of people here, and don’t want to harm anyone in any way.

Today, having done that, I feel much happier. I can just put my energies into nicer things, like warm fuzzie huggies, instead.

Hubby je works at a place that has been in the news lately for it’s CEO saying some really dumb things and some practices we don’t like. We decided that we couldn’t keep focusing on the negative and started saying blessings towards the company instead, and today in his paycheck, there was a big unexpected bonus, which came at a great time. That bonus give me enough hope to reopen a goal I had sadly abandoned as impossible: ‘pay my bills on time’. It has moved back into the Realm Of The Possible, so I will focus on the positive. This ties in with ‘do the Secret’ too.

I had a conversation with a friend who kept defending someone who has tried to make my life miserable for the past couple of years. She brought it up, and I wasn’t going to. I was going to let that sleeping dog lie. I tried to work it out with the person we mentioned, but the situation got worse and worse, and her attacks harsher and harsher over this time. I’m convinced she’s sociopathic. We used to be friends, but she decided she hated me after I suggested she might want to get help for the horribly abusive relationship she was in, that I loved her and wanted her to have a man that respected her, not was drunk, violent and openly cheating (and yes, she’s still with him, and he’s still a drunk cheating jerk who won’t marry her cause she’s ‘too fat’). I think seeing me happily getting married myself was the fuse that set off the bomb. It was easier to blame me than to actually look at herself.

I decided I despise, hate, this woman when she went after Hubby je right after his mother committed suicide. We had literally just drove in from the place where we saw the godawfully cruel suicide note and bullet hole, and she was doing her best to try to get us hated on by a group of friends in a place we were going to for companionship and love. They had to keep her away for fear she would verbally assault us. She could not even stop her meanness to let him grieve in peace. She attacked him at the very worse moment of his life, and that is something that is unforgivable with me. Unforgiveable, and I can forgive a lot.

So this friend kept saying she knows she is mean a lot and won’t listen to others but maybe she had a bad childhood and blah blah blah. Many people (myself included) have had lousy childhoods but that is not an excuse to be a monster. Lines eventually have to be drawn. And therapy has been suggested to this woman for years, and she has always responded with denial, and then rage. It is who she is.

So I told her that if this woman was hit by a bus and died tomorrow, I would be happy. I no longer care about speculations about her childhood (and she says it was peachy-keen anyway), it’s just a lame excuse that other people are trying to make for her, and that I am tired that some people try to make excuses for her, that she is just cruel and crazy, and excuses have been made far to long for her. Knock it off. She sucks, admit it.

And then she says yes everyone knows you are right, and everyone has come now to realize that she has told nothing but lies about you for years, and now everyone realizes they were lies and that she is crazy and vindictive. Ironically, now this woman is actually starting to lie and go after her, one of her few friends left (and I’m not surprised, this woman attacks for the pleasure of it). So I again repeat that she could die and it would be a relief at this point. I am done with her excuses for this woman, but I will agree to disagree with her.

So I can respectfully stand my ground, not give in to pressure to be nice or politically correct, but not personally attack anyone who wants to defend this creep.

SECRETS OF LIFE (R)

“CLEAR MESSAGE

Mixing with people is mixing with their troubles. They will
promptly try to make their misery your misery. They will lie
and deny this evil, of course, for they refuse to see how low
they are. A man with a brutal manner or a woman with a hateful
face are trying to drag you into their sick world. Your new
Spirit of Truth will send them an invisible message that speaks
louder than a million words: ‘Stay out of my life.’”

Solved The Mystery Of Life, p. 181  Vernon Howard