I’ve noticed that I’m becoming more complacent, the older I get (I’m 38), and I don’t know weather if that’s a good thing or not. When I was younger and owned nothing, I was more free-spirited and “balls to the wall” (pardon the crassness). I would travel to places without any set agendas and sometimes without any room reservations. I would drive way over the speed limit. I would stay out late with friends on a weeknight, not thinking of what I had to do the next day and I wouldn’t think twice about buying something really expensive if I had the money or credit to do so. These days, I like to plan, stay in nice hotels and I drive more cautiously. I’m careful with my finances. Don’t even try to make plans with me after midnight on a weekday. I’ve become predictable and regimented.
I worry more these days. I think about if I will have enough for my retirement, if I have enough insurance, if I’m doing enough at work to stay on board should there be another layoff. I have more to protect and more stuff that ties me down. In my 20s I used to not give a shit and now I feel somewhat anxious. Could be age? Could be hormone changes associated with age? It could be all this stuff I have to protect. I don’t know. I want to through more caution to the wind in hopes that I could feel like I did when I was 20 something. 22 months ago