fix things, and start over

i don’t know how or when, but things are definitely going to get better. :)

i wish i’d let down fewer people.

i wish i wasn’t so messed.

i think the best thing i can do for myself right now is to see myself in a less god-like manner, and trust others more.

i’m not the biggest fan of people who think that what they say becomes the truth, and i look down upon those who idolize their own image. and i never even realized when i became such a monster myself, hurting everyone else along the way.

i’m not who i think i am. and others are definitely not who i see them as. i get angry at them when they “hurt” me, when all they are doing is trying to help. i can’t really control myself. i’m paranoid just living in my own house.

so if you’re reading this.. i’m sorry with all of my heart. my eyes were shut closed. i didn’t mean to be insensitive, and i love my family so much. i’m really sorry.

i just wish i could tell you this in person.

“Sometimes I think I was born backwards. The people I should love, I hate. And the people I should hate…”

- Effy