survive heartbreak

she held my hand many times and almost wanted to lay her head on my chest. it seemed she’s almost mine but before that only she got engaged. i can’t stop thinking about her. one step more, and she would be mine…. all mine. that would seem like a dream come true, since i so much wanted her… i can’t tell how long i’ve waited for her. now all dreams r shattered and my life seems like having no purpose. if i could get her, my life would have a totally different direction. its not easy to forget someone just like that. i will try anyway, and probably be successful also, but still i will always remember how much i craved for her, whenever i see her. bye everybody… wish you get the person you love the most…

I recently joined a dating website. I have had a lot of responses and several dates. This was a boost to my ego. One man I went out with several times; we really seemed to hit it off, and I truly thought he was “the one”. As soon as he realized that I felt deeply about him, he pulled away telling me “he had to work some personal things out, blah, blah, blah.” I feel jerked one way and then the other. Like the old: “he loves me; he loves me not”. I had broken it off with him and then just before Christmas he shows up on my doorstep with flowers. He tells me he misses me. The next day he emails me to say he is taking an automobile trip to visit his daughter and he will contact me from up there. Christmas has come and gone. No word. I want desperately to talk to him but have no phone number. I need some answers.

I am in an extreme amount of pain as I write this. I have berated myself for the whole situation. I have to remind myself “feelings just are”. You have to accept them and work through the pain.

Perhaps just being in limbo is a lot of the cause of this pain.

Leeza in Tarpon Springs FL

he’s just not that into me :-(

It’s been almost five weeks now, and I feel that I am on my way to surviving this relationship ending. I am under no illusions that there will be sad/hard times ahead: she is moving out in two weeks and I am sure that I will have mixed emotions for that as well. I think I am in the acceptance part of the grieving stage, and feel that I have survived. Having this website has been really special to me—to be able to vent in a safe space is invaluable.

I feel like I need to step back a minute and give myself some kudos for surviving, and I think for the most part surviving well. Some days are easier than others, and she’s hopefully moving out in a week. Trying to figure out what I need and how to get my life back on track, and cleansing myself right now is my MO.

I’m feeling a bit low tonight. Think I will stop thinking and snuggle into bed. I’m sure I will feel better tomorrow in the morning light as GNR says.

I just broke up with someone dear. It was the right choice, but still hurts. I know it takes time, but damn.