List 10 lessons I have learned in 2009

I used to think people who clean up after themselves were… you know, boring or anal or something. Over the years I’ve struggled with my partially creative, partially lazy messes. Flylady has helped a bit, but honestly my house still looks like a garbage dump. I get sidetracked so much, it’s not even funny!

It took a while for the lesson to really crystallize but a couple days ago it was finally clear as glass: if I put stuff away immediately (and/or consistently) I spend so much less time looking for it later! I used to think that putting stuff away was unnecessary if I was going to use it again the next day anyway. I thought it was a waste of time to put things “where they belong.” Now I know that it’s the other way around: I may save 15 seconds by not puttin’ it back but then I waste 10 minutes trying to find it again.

What’s more, since I usually look for something when I need it for something (duh!), not finding it tends to mean a delay in getting stuff done. Which has a ripple effect because when one thing doesn’t get done on time, the next thing on the schedule then also gets pushed back and so on. So by having to dig for one “important item” in the morning, I can make myself late for EVERY SINGLE THING I DO DURING THE DAY!

Case in point: my cleaned-out car. I no longer end up having to turn around and go back home because I forgot stuff! And, I no longer have to panic and be annoyed when I can’t find something that I KNOW IS IN THE CAR SOMEWHERE!

(Hmmmm… might this be the key to Stop doing just one more thing before doing what I meant to do/need to do ??? If I know where stuff is, perhaps I won’t have to run back into the house because I forgot something, only to get sidetracked by something else I “could do real quick.”)

I’m a pretty spontaneous person really, but this year I’ve learned that I need a certain amount of predictability to function.

I don’t mind, say, if someone has to reschedule an appointment at the last minute. No problem—even if it inconveniences me to a certain degree. Life happens right?! I don’t necessarily do things by the book… or by the calendar. I’m always game for impromptu get-togethers and plans made on the spur of the moment. I’m happy to pitch in on short notice when needed. I don’t mind an irregular schedule, eating at odd times, or a friend calling me late at night for a shoulder to cry on.

However, I am unable to do my job when there consistently is no way to predict the outcome of things. I used to think I could go with the flow even in a chaotic job (job no. 4 to be precise) where things get changed around a lot and a lot of stuff needs to get done “now,” with no information given and coworkers who regularly can’t be reached.

I now understand that this kind of “management style” puts me in a position where I do a lot of work which then turns out to be for nothing. I’m always scrambling yet not getting anything useful done. This is stressful! Slowly I came to understand that it wasn’t my fault stuff wasn’t getting done properly.

• I’d build something up to where it was running smoothly and then someone else would “take over” and run it into the ground again.
• I’d get things all set up for a project and at the last minute all the parameters would get changed, or the project would be canceled altogether.
• I’d get a phone call at 4pm on a Friday to let me know that we’d need to have a certain set of things ready by noon on Saturday, with nothing to work from. This kind of thing is the NORM not the exception in my job. Everything is last minute, not planned, and not supported—when there was ample time to get stuff ready a couple weeks in advance!
• I would be asked to submit information for review, then the reviewer would ask me why the info didn’t get posted when I never got the fact-checked info back from her in the first place (despite reminders to please send me the reviewed stuff).
• Coworkers & superiors would randomly vanish for days or week at a time, not returning phone calls or emails.
• Everyone in the company would request information or help, but nobody would get me the info or help I needed for my projects.

I’m starting to feel like a whiner, but this is how things are. It was a hard lesson to learn but I learned it. A loony bin is no place for me. I need breathing room to get stuff done in a more or less organized fashion. Then when things are running smoothly most of the time, I don’t mind if ya throw a last minute request at me. But if that’s all there is… I need to get out.

This lesson has been popping up repeatedly over the years, but it’s really sinking in now. Case in point:

On a recent sailing cruise, I got fairly seasick on the first day, despite the fact that the seas were calm. I have been on boats and ships of various sizes since childhood, and only got seasick once during a crossing of the Atlantic Ocean on a freighter in the winter (let’s just say there was some rolling and pitching going on).

Thinking about this, I realized that my seasickness during calm weather was a “learned behavior,” brought on by my expectation that I might get seasick (now that I know what it feels like). There was no reason to get seasick on this recent trip (the first one on the ocean since the freighter passage), and I wasn’t about to let seasickness ruin the experience.

So I decided I wasn’t going to be seasick, and that was that, pretty much! It also helped to think of the (slight) rolling and pitching as a soothing, comforting thing (like a cradle) rather than something that would make me sick. Granted, if I’m ever in rough waters I might still get seasick, but at least this time my mind won the battle with itself :o)

Never thought I’d say this, but as it turns out it really is just a matter of finding the right kind of exercise. Between Curves and Tai Chi I’m enjoying the heck out of using those muscles of mine! Even sweating is no longer disgusting.