use my time well

Is it bc I don’t want to grow up? Bc I don’t want the responsibility of being in control of, in charge of, my life?

I clearly have a problem w procrastination. Why? Why do i delay things, relationships, opportunities, everything?

could i change this to not overfilling my plate? To slowing down? Doing one thing at a time and not getting overwhelmed. Not having a to-do list a mile long, but rather just a few things that I get done?

Success sets you free.
Achieving what you want and financial freedom, empowers you. Knowing that you can achieve what you want, not waste hours faffing or relying on the world.
I think I always believed that success had to be part of an overall strategy. In fact, I htink it is more to do with how you move towards getting what you want. How surely and consistently you do that. How you keep your eye on the ball, you goals within sight. How you name and label your goals. Not waiting for some external force.
I think I’ve been waiting, waiting for cues, for permission, for some force amjeur instead of taking matters into my own hands.
I’ve been waiting for someone else to write my destiny. To tell me what it is and take responsibility for it.

This is probably my single most important goal right now. It is the deciding factor in living the life I imagined. I let days, whole days slide by achieving v little, filling my time w faffing. Or the agony of focusing and deciding has consumed me so much that I find it difficult to move forward and do the things i want to or choose to do to get to where I want.
I choose to use my time well.

It’s not that I need to be productively occupied all the time. But even when I relax, it should be purposeful: that is, set aside an hour to watch Lost or read a book, rather than vaguely reload the same three websites for three hours. Some ultimately pointless activities are good for one, but I still think they can be chosen and performed meaningfully.

If I really did this, I’d find so many more hours in the day, get much more done, and live a fuller life.

I recognize that I’m a kind of person who needs structure, and while I hoped I would use my months unemployed well, I have basically squandered them. Not frankly surprising. By natural inclination, I need a job to get up for in the morning, and a series of occupations to work around in the evening. Otherwise, I’m apt to do nothing.

But natural inclination doesn’t have to be the whole story… if I really try, I could learn to use my time well. In the course of achieving a few of my 43 things, I will probably learn to do this. But this is an important lifestyle goal all on its own.