Live a more conscious life

I still feel the same way I felt when I wrote the last entry for this goal : http://www.43things.com/entries/view/156041

I think because my life is this big ‘ol mess of stuff right now, that I have trouble seeing the good, the positive. But its there…peeking out behind the clouds…or something poetic like that.

I just have to focus and find those good things…and then when I find them, focus on them. Easier said than done.

have you ever had one of those days that just sucks and then something good happens, a little thing, and it just turns your day around?

Well, today was the opposite for me. I was having a pretty okay day, and then had a disheartening, disappointing phone conversation…and now my whole day is ruined!

As I was walking back to my building I found myself going “I hate you trees!” and “I hate you noisy bug!” and “I hate these crackers, why am I eating them?” And that just isn’t very nice. I guess I became aware that I didn’t really hate the trees, but I hated what was going on, and what I was going through.

That’s the problem I have some times, letting one bad thing kind of coat everything. So, when I leave the library in a few minutes, I’m going to apologize to the trees and tell them it wasn’t their fault.

I haven’t watched television since I left los angeles (5.5 weeks ago). I haven’t driven a car, I recycle, I use public transit all the time. I just wonder how all of these things will play out once I get back home.

I am trying to this with the help of Ascension Meditation as taught by the Ishaya.