see my daughter again

But I am revamping my list and some things have to go. I know this will happen so while it says I give up next to this goal. That is not the case AT ALL!! I would never give up on this!

I wonder what you look like. I wonder how you’ve changed. It’s been over a year and your father is still keeping you away.

I have a lawyer now. He can’t do this forever. I guess thats the only thing that keeps me hopeful.

Did you know he was supposed to drop you off tonight? Probably not. I waited for two hours with your sister and brother. I was crushed. I had prayed so hard he’d finally listen to the lawyers. I’d hoped so hard to finally see you again. I just love you and miss you so much.

Mommy will never stop fighting for you. I swear.

Every Day I wonder where you are and how you are doing. I finally found a lawyer willing to take payments. I’m praying daily that you will be home soon. It hurts so badly knowing I’ve missed this last year of your life and I’ll never get it back. I’ll never understand why your father did this to us. I love you so much. I still get sad everynight when I go put your baby sister in her crib and say good night because I turn around and see your bed all made up and unslept in all this time. I touch your things and wonder how your day went….if your happy or if your sad. I wonder if you miss me and if you saw me would you recognize me? You were still so little when your father stole you away.

I love you, Aya. And miss you so badly.

The Republican parents of Winter Park Florida encouraged/ allowed their high school children to abuse alcohol and other drugs/ controlled substances. My daughter made the mistake of believing that if they could do it, she could do it. They wanted her companionship and then they poisoned her. Now we have no daughter. These hypocrites should burn in hell, soon.

I miss my girl more than anything. If there’s one thing on this list I want the most, this is it. After my marriage fell apart I lost hope, focus and myself. Now that I’ve sobered up I need to find a way to fix my mistakes and re-establish a relationship with my baby girl. I only hope that her mother will let me.

Her birthday is on Monday. She will be four years old. Every year on each of my kids birthdays I give them thier birthday minute kiss. This will be the first year I have ever missed giving one of my babies thier kiss. I miss her so bad.

I have not seen my 3 year old daughter since May 3, 2007. Her father refuses to let me see her or talk to her. He is basically in violation of our court order and has committed parental kidnapping. The police are unable to help because they say it is now a civil matter and i need to hire an attorney. I’ve tried everything from free legal aid to trying desperately to find a probono attorney as a the retainer fee most lawyers charge ($2,000) is well out of my reach as i struggle every month just to pay rent or buy food. She is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep at night. I can smell her hair and feel her soft curls in my fingertips. I see her blue eyes twinkle with mistiff or well-up with tears when she has a booboo. I have never been apart from her for this long. I truely understand heartbreak now. Aya is the light of my life and just about the sweetest little girl ever. Words can’t express how much I miss her. I left her father in May of 2004 because of domestic violence. I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore. Everyday was like walking on eggshells for survival. I thought leaving would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do untill he took away my baby girl. I pray for a miricle daily but it still feels like the world has forgotten us. I’m trying so hard to make our lives right again but everystep forward he blocks our pathway. My darling Aya, mommy misses you so badly…...

I think this is my favorite picture EVER!!

a couple of the adorable pix I recieved yesterday!! How cute is my baby girl??

I got home from work tonight and saw that I had recieved a package from M&J (Chloe’s parents). :) HAPPY It was a little dated, all the letters and pictures are from November and December. SO I’m not sure if they mailed it much later or if it got held up at Family Services. Either way, I got it tonight and it couldn’t have been more perfect!

They included tons of pictures. And OH MY GOSH, Chloe is SO cute! I can not believe how beautiful she is becoming!!! They sent me like 3 letters and a cute card that Chloe had colored for me! It was just the most wonderful thing! There aren’t even words.

They said the sweetest, most perfect things. They reminded me that they still love me now just as much as they did when I placed Chloe’s in their arms. They told me that they tell Chloe about me and that she knows she was in my tummy (how cute is that!!). It was just the most perfect package EVER! I couldn’t have asked for better!!