mastermind and execute a co-ordinated nuclear strike on one or more unsuspecting continents

Oh wow, you mean you found a “Nuke Australia” button that works?! See, I was skipping along one lovely morning and tripped on a “Nuke the Moon” button. ‘Nice!’ I thought, ‘now we can hang out with the cool satelliteless kids, like Mercury!’ But all that happened was Baby Jesus tackled me and raped me in the ear. sad sigh

I myself am planning on nuking Antarctica. Those icecaps have been lookin at me funny and giggling behind my back like some sort of desperate homemakers. The fuckers.

Who could have suspected that a big red button labeled ‘Nuke Australia’ would, in fact, do just that? Certainly not I. Well, time to let bygones be bygones, I suppose. And Australia will be naught but dust in the wind in a few minutes. Naught but scalding, radioactive dust that will fill the stratosphere and block lovoing sunlight for decades yet. Oh, well.

_{pic by saurav}

Having examined the matter of pre-emptive nuclear strikes from all angles, I have come to the only conclusion possible—there are too many continents. I fully intend to launch a sufficient number of armed ICBMs to reduce the number of continents by at least one.

This will also have the convenient effect of suspending several trillion tonnes of dust in the atmosphere, thus blocking almost all sunlight from the Earth’s surface. Not only will the plunging temperatures bring about the end of all multicellular life on Earth, but they will moreover bring forth surging glaciers that will reshape the planet in MY IMAGE.

Ia ia Cthulhu fhtagn.