2499 unique visitors :) 2 years ago

The number of different visitors from USA passed 1000 overnight.

And the total number of unique visitors will be passing 2500 any time now.

I’m enjoying noticing these little statistics. A good thought to be sharing even just a few seconds of my life with others :) 2 years ago

got my 6000th cheer!

Yay!!! 2 years ago

I just received my 6000th cheer

Thank you, Luna :) :) :)

x 2 years ago

I wasn’t surprised that fewer and fewer flags were joining my flag counter but I did start to wonder when it appeared to just stop. A quick peek made me realise that I’d set a limit on how many flags will show.

In fact people from

60

countries have now visited this page. I love that: just a way of making the world smaller and remembering that we’re all interconnected :) 2 years ago

A little rambling spiel that’s been in my head for a while and insists on making itself heard this morning :)

People use 43t in so many ways. For me that’s a big part of its power.

Here is a place where it’s possible to pour out the tears and the triumphs and feel equally safe and supported in both. If others don’t want to hear or are not in a position to respond they don’t have to. There’s no pressure on anyone to support anyone one else and yet there’s always someone who can and does so with a glad and genuine heart.

And it’s reciprocal: the mutuality of this place is amazing. It’s all give and take. No one takes without giving; no one supports without needing support. And that’s without the goal-setting element and the motivation it provides.

I see it as a reflection of humanity at its absolute best. Thousands of lives reflected in these pages: each of us striving to create meaning for ourselves in our own ways. No individual life more valid than any other; every one of them unique and special and worthy of care and celebration.

Everyone here is of equal importance. Some people have lofty goals, others seemingly less so. Some people set a target, power through and make it happen. Others set more modest targets then find their paths blocked or beset by circumstance or inner demons. Some change direction frequently and some struggle to find the path at all. And that’s okay; it’s how life is. It may have taken as much for one person to clear up the kitchen or weed the garden or set foot outside the door or make that phone call as it’s taken another to write the best seller, walk the coastal path, pass that exam, jump out that plane…. And from what I see, everyone is respected and applauded for what they’re doing and where they are. It’s relative. And I love that.

_{soap box is now safely back in its corner ;)}2 years ago

How can I make large print within an entry?

I’m thinking in particular of Dragonfly’s very satisfying “smugly pleased” .....

:) 2 years ago

... you spend time catching up on pages of other people’s entries and wishing you had loads of cheers to bestow…. only to pop back an hour later to discover you now have 26 and no time to go back over what you read earlier ….

sigh

I hope they stay around long enough to be sprinkled amongst the next batch of inspiring/courageous/wise/funny/amazing entries to come ;) 3 years ago

Yesterday I gave KimberGreene my 3000th cheer. I know I did! This morning I see I have given 2999 cheers to date. How can this be? I suppose someone deleted and took a cheer with them?

Does this mean my 3000th cheer from yesterday no longer counts? Should I give K another 3000th cheer again today? I think I’d better …. just to be sure :-P 3 years ago

The last few days have been tricky. And I keep thinking that it’s passing when in fact it’s really still here – ready to catch me out when I’m not looking.

I have a real fear of depression: my depression that is. I think I worked so hard to pull myself out of it over the years that I’m terrified of slipping back down again. I get almost panicky these days when I feel it tugging at my sleeve. And as a result I try to pretend that it isn’t there.

Especially when there’s no reason for me to be depressed. Of course I know it doesn’t need a reason but that doesn’t stop the inner critic getting his few cents in just to make things that little bit more difficult.

Anyway, a few thoughts have been running in my head alongside all of this. Some of them frighten me a bit too.

Here’s my thinking:

The most important thing for me is to maintain my equilibrium. When I lose that, everything goes. So I’m thinking that should really be a goal: one of those ongoing goals near the top of the list.

To maintain my equilibrium what I most need is to be master of my own time. This is something I believed I’d already achieved – hooray!! Except I realise now that I haven’t; I only thought I had. I’ve made quite a scary decision not to look for work right now in order to pursue other dreams and priorities. So I have no constraints in that regard. But I also have a fear of being considered lazy. Furthermore I know that given some space I’ll happily do nothing all day. Hence the lists. This list here, and smaller daily ‘to do’ lists. It’s worked very well for quite a while but just lately I’ve been questioning who is master of what. Do I have the lists or do they have me? I have created a new treadmill for myself – entirely of my own making. What’s the point of that?

And I’ve known it all along really; my inner coach has been gently pointing out for a little while that the pendulum’s swung too far. I wonder how often I need to come to the realisation that if I just listen and act on what I hear, all will be well? Seems to me this needs to be the first goal of all.

So some new goals then:

Maintain my equilibrium

Be master of my own time

Follow my inner compass; listen to my inner coach 3 years ago

... and not really of any relevance to anyone but me! Just thought I’d flag that up at the beginning rather than at the end ;)

it’s also proving very hard to format. I wish I hadn’t started in many respects but I’m taking the “I’ve started so I’ll finish” stance and I’ll persevere (grimly).

With that caveat, I’m glad I’ve written it. What follows has been taking up space in my head and once I’ve posted it I know I’ll be able to let it sit here quietly and I can get on with other things :)

Goals
I tried writing about this last week and it didn’t follow the path I’d expected. I’m trying again now.

When I first came upon 43T my impressions were that it was primarily a goal-setting resource. Goals are important and necessary for me as I’ve said before. Plus I like lists! This certainly looked the place for me!

Since then I’ve begun to appreciate the many other good things to be gained from participating here and I’ve also had the opportunity to reflect on goals. My understanding has expanded significantly and I need to write it down in order to clarify and retain it (and make room for other things in my head!).

Previously I thought goals should be quantifiable and specific. There’s a life coaching acronym that I like: SMARTEN UP. It offers a checklist when considering a potential new goal and one’s reaction to it.

S(pecific): be accurate in describing the goal; M(easurable): make it quantifiable; A(ppealing): is it attractive enough to be compelling? R(ealistic): is it possible in my present circumstances and at this time in my life? T(imed): without a fixed end point it may never be achieved; E(nthusiastic): am I sufficiently enthusiastic to be able to see it through? N(atural): does it work with my natural instincts? U(nderstood): is it clearly understood by others – who can help & support? P(repared): am I prepared for setbacks and negative reactions?

So using SMARTEN UP, initially I expected to produce a list of realistic, specific, finite, quantifiable targets that I could work towards and tick off as I went along.

Of course it doesn’t work that way: 43T doesn’t offer a goals list, it offers the opportunity of a life list. It’s been wonderful to see how different people use their life lists. Certainly, some goals are in the more traditional vein but others are wild and wacky, deeply personal, enigmatic, heart-rending, fantastic, fabulous, fun, tender, trivial and occasionally tormented. There are someday goals and maybe goals. There are goals which can never be achieved – can never be “ticked off”: goals that are reminders of important life lessons or pointers of how people wish to live and conduct themselves.

Some life lists are long and filled with grand plans which for me would feel overwhelming. But then most likely the writers use those lists as more of an aide memoire than an active “tick-it-off-when-it’s-done” sort of list. Other lists are very short and clearly very relevant to that person at that point in time. And some people update with progress reports whilst others don’t. Some tick off loads of little goals; others not…. I’m not sure why I’m writing all this when obviously everyone uses 43T in the way best suited to him or her. I suppose the reason is that I’ve been noticing the wonderful range of uses and variations and thinking how best to make it work for me.

And that’s really what I’m intending to set down. Even though of course nothing is set in stone, it seems important to me to be clear to myself what I’m aiming to achieve here and how I’m aiming to achieve it.

• I want to use my life list in the best way possible for me
• I see my life list in part as a way of defining who I am at this point in my life
• I like to tick things off so I need some goals that are short-term and quickly achievable
• And fun! I like many of the quirky goals here :) Some of the seemingly trivial things I’d like to do (or have done) will feel more relevant and genuine if they are a part of my life list. They will help define what is uniquely me
• I also want to follow the example of others here and have some goals that are essentially reminders of how I wish to approach life or conduct myself. I’ll probably rotate them fairly regularly because I suspect they will be more effective if I focus on them in short bursts
• By posting goals here I shall think them through more clearly; I shall find it easier to motivate myself and I can keep track of them more easily
• I can record progress – a motivator in itself
• I can adjust the mixture of goals so that I’m not overwhelmed. I’m going to keep a secondary list of things waiting in the wings that only shift onto the life list when it seems reasonable for them to be active
• One of the unanticipated pleasures I’ve discovered is the celebratory nature of the life list. I shall always have a goal or two that focus on the celebration of life at that moment
• I want to clarify my longer term hopes, plans and dreams and map out where I’m aiming for
• Life falls naturally into separate sectors although of course each sector intertwines and overlaps. Each goal will fall into one of these sectors:

1. 43T – Make best use of it. Which for me, is what I’m doing now.
2. Personal Growth – goes without saying really. I don’t ever want to stop growing; never stop learning and always be open to whatever comes along.
3. Health – again self explanatory. I want to remember that I get only one body, one mind, one heart. I want to remain thankful for what each of these things gives me and nourish and nurture myself so that I can be the best I can be and be best placed to give back. I know how corny that sounds, but it’s true. By articulating it, by making it explicit, I think I may be much more motivated.
4. Joie de Vivre – for me, life is a joy and a privilege. I intend to live, love, laugh, appreciate and celebrate. I get enormous pleasure from simple things. Here’s where I get to share it or recapture it if I get pulled off course on accasions.
5. Nagging Stuff – all those ghastly things that have to be done and I don’t want to do
6. Family – self-explanatory I suppose, but so important and often taken for granted. I like the idea of articulating my family goals and being more proactive rather than reactive in my approach to them. I intend to honour, respect & cherish each member of my family. That may be one of those non-quantifable goals that appears on the list sometimes :)
7. Relationships – I’m talking friends, neighbours, community, colleagues … People & relationships are what make the world go round for me. I intend to always keep working at them and never to take them for granted.
8. Vision – how I see my life unfolding; where I’m going; how I’m going to get there. Some thought needed here.
9. Contribution – something I don’t focus on enough. It’s easy to push it to one side as a ‘someday’ goal – something I’ll get to when there’s enough time. There’s always enough time. The time is now. Give back and pay forward.
10. Work – not career because I think work encompasses more than that. Work is good; work is necessary. For me work should be balanced with life. I intend to seek a new career that is fulfilling for me and makes a contribution for others. I want it to make best use of my strengths without sapping them and to leave time for the other important things in life: family, friends, home, health, happiness.
11. Money – money is not especially important to me and I’m not particularly good with it or at planning for it. But money is a necessity of life and I have to acknowledge that. I want to gain enough to be a contributor, not a drain.
12. For me – those things, great & small, that I don’t have to do but want to do: just for me; just because…
13. Lifestyle – I am fortunate enough to be living in a lovely house in a beautiful village in a wonderful part of the world. I want to embrace the lifestyle: learn about and uphold the traditions. And of course, lifestyle impacts on my contribution to the preservation of our planet.
14. Travel – I love it and haven’t done enough of it. And I probably won’t get to do much for a while. (See my thoughts regarding me and money.) But it’s important that it has a place on my life list nonetheless :)

Okay, so I’ve now convinced myself of how anal I can be! And I’ve made a note to self to: stop taking it all so seriously! But it’s all a part of who I am, and now I’ve got it down in writing I can move on. (And maybe stop planning and start doing!) 3 years ago

Sometimes things don’t turn out quite as I expect.Sometimes a little randomness and freedom to depart from the intended path is not only good but necessary.

This morning I thought I’d put down on paper what I think about goals. This is what happened.
Goals. I like goals. I like the sense of moving forward. I have to feel I’m moving forward. If I’m not moving forward then what’s the point? To achieve a goal is satisfying and motivating. It’s also ‘tidy’ somehow: I think for me a lot of goal-setting is about my need to create order from chaos. I need things set in context. Things need a context and a purpose. Things need to connect. There needs to be a framework. For things read life.

I’m writing free form. It’s been a while since I’ve done this. I know each of those statements connects with each of the others but I don’t feel like producing a properly crafted sentence or two that neatly packages up what I’m saying after I’ve thought it through; I want to just let thoughts out. Possibly that is because alongside a desire for purpose and order in the chaos is an equally vibrant desire for randomness.

I don’t really want to be all packaged up and neat and linear. It’s vital to me that I create meaning for myself; that I have a purpose and make a contribution. To achieve that I do become more linear because otherwise I drift and descend into ennui and despondency. But there’s a little bit of me that’s jumping up and down in the background, waving and shouting: ”Hey, stay free; don’t get it all buttoned-up toooo tightly…”

And now, here’s the marvellous thing about writing freely ….

I typed the word ‘freeform’ just now and then decided to google it. Was it really the word I wanted? (Ironic really since the point of free form writing is that it’s uncensored and stream-of-consciousness stuff but never mind.) The answer to the question was yes: it is the word I want. The link that I clicked on: http://www.creative-healing-meditation.com/free-writing.html had links to Dorothea Brande and Julia Cameron. I don’t yet know Dorothea Brande’s work (shall look shortly) but Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ is a book I have known of for years – yet only as a name.

For reasons unexplained I have never taken the trouble to learn more about her book despite bumping up against it many times over. I’ve seen it referred to here on people’s lists and as ever I notice it and think, “hmmm, must check that out sometime…” but the sometime never comes.

Today I checked it out. There are lots of books by Julia Cameron. One – The Sound of Paper (what a fabulous title: makes me want to eat it) had the ‘look inside’ facility. I learned of the three creative tools Cameron proposes should be used “…throughout this book and beyond…”: morning pages; walks; artist’s date. I already do the first two – have done for several years, though lately I’ve felt discouraged and somewhat fraudulent. I’ve hesitated to think of myself and the word creative in the same thought: I’m not creative – I’m linear and organised … Maybe I should be putting away such childish things, I’ve been whispering to myself. Maybe it’s time to get organised ...

But hey – I can be both. I can be organised and creative. I can be a creative organiser; I can organise creatively ...

Suddenly I feel inspired again; Time for another Amazon order … I’ll just schedule a time for that …. ;) 3 years ago

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make 43T work best for me and I’m making progress.

Many year ago, when I was at home with small children, I worked by routines. The necessary domestic chores got done because I had a routine that I didn’t need to think about. That worked well.

Then I started working again outside the home and time got eaten up. There was never enough time. I am an introvert; I was working in a demanding and extroverted environment which I enjoyed but found incredibly draining. When I wasn’t at work I needed time: time for me – time to regroup; to recharge. The burden of things undone weighed heavily. It created a vicious circle from which I never quite escaped.

Now I’ve had the opportunity to recreate my life and work towards establishing a balance that works for me. Not everyone has that opportunity. Not everyone is in a position to take such a leap of faith. I have choices. I want to make best use of those choices.

So – how to proceed…

I already write lists. Without a ‘to do’ list I dither and dabble and get distracted; I need the discipline otherwise I am more than capable of spending long periods drifting – days, weeks, months. The dissatisfaction builds to intolerable levels.

For many years I was one of those people who started a list by writing things I’d already done so I could immediately cross them off. Also, my lists generally consisted of things I felt like doing. I often felt like writing an email or watching a film. I almost never felt like cleaning the floor or tackling the ironing. I’d write the list at the start of each day. Each list started from scratch; there was rarely any continuity or forward planning. Nonetheless, even this type of list was better than no list at all: it did usually include at least one necessary thing that may easily have remained undone had it not found its way onto a list which offered the satisfaction of crossing it off on completion.

Every once in a while I’d go to the other extreme. I’d write extensive lists: lists covering everything under the sun; lists with divisions and subdivisions – colour-coded; referenced …. (Excel seems to work well for this kind of list.) My life was contained in a list. There were undoubted benefits. Once something was on a list and on my hard drive I no longer had to remember it; it was recorded for posterity. I could create my daily list by drawing from my ‘life list’: I’d gained some continuity. But the downside was feeling overwhelmed with “things to be done”. I am easily overwhelmed unfortunately; I know I have to manage that with care. I felt deluged by the length of the list; I spent more time creating and maintaining lists than actually doing or achieving things on them. It was discouraging and disappointing.

Maybe I wasn’t really a list person. Maybe I was just plain idle. Maybe writing lists was a cunning way of avoiding the actual doing. Writing about doing is much more fun than doing the doing. By nature, I am a planner – not a doer.

But slowly, slowly I found a system that works for me. And then I stumbled across 43T. I could see it had the potential to add to what I’ve already been doing for myself.

So I’ve reworked my 43 things and over the next few days I’ll be adjusting my list and adding a little more explanation. For some reason I am feeling ridiculously nervous about it. I think that’s because there’s a lot of myself in this proposed course of action: it feels like I’m taking a risk in sharing that much of myself. I know it’s foolish: plenty of people are doing exactly that on here and hopefully getting a lot out of it. I’m sharing because I know that articulating these thoughts will clarify them in my head; will make them more real; make them more likely to happen. Nobody need read them but me, but putting them out there is a declaration of intent: I’m saying to myself, and to the world: “Here’s what I’m about. Here’s what I want to happen. This is how I want my life to be.”

Hey ho – still feeling nervous but in for a penny ….. 3 years ago

I’m still thinking on how to make best use of 43T. Here’s what I’ve got so far.

I like the global interconnectedness here. 43T offers a window into other people’s goals and dreams: a chance to support and be supported even if just for a fleeting moment. Giving and receiving cheers makes me feel good :)

Also, I get a boost when I see how many of us are wrestling with the same issues or have the same aspirations. It reminds me of how much we all share underneath the surface variations.

And I get inspired by some of the really fabulous goals that would not have occurred to me sitting here in my little bubble by myself. Wacky, fun, outrageous, spiritual, noble, selfless, courageous: so many wonderful hopes and dreams.

Then there are the goals set by others which remind of me of things that I too hold dear but have maybe forgotten at the moment. And those that express what I too wish to aim for but in language more succinct, more beautiful, more specific than I have been able to achieve on my own. I seize on those words and think, “Yes! This person has got it..”

But mostly the human face for me is about reading other people’s stories. I am reminded of the strength of the human spirit; humbled by others’ courage; inspired by others’ creativity and encouraged by others’ persistence. There are so many amazing people on this planet!!

So the challenge here of course is not to indulge to excess. How easily I can lose great chunks of time browsing! Sometimes it’s necessary: yesterday I spent far too much time doing exactly that – but it helped. Yesterday it filled a need.

Generally though I need to rein myself in a little and remember the personal side as well: I intend that 43T will enable me to articulate, refine and make greater progress with my own personal goals than I might otherwise achieve. And this is what I’m focusing on next. 3 years ago

I’ve had this in mind as a goal for a couple of days now. I can see many ways in which 43T can be a positive and useful tool – and fun and inspirational too. I had intended to wait until I’d thought through some of the ways I’m thinking of using it but I’m starting this goal now ‘cos I’ve realised I’ve spent waaaaaaayyyyy too long on here today!

So I’m limiting myself. An hour a day is 7 hours a week! Think what else could I be doing with those 7 hours!! But then I’ve journalled for years and this is replacing a lot of that so I can accept an hour a day….

... starting tomorrow – ‘cos I’m well over the hour already today and I haven’t finished yet ;) 3 years ago