forget my ex

This is first on my things to do list and i have been trying to forget about my ex and lose feelings for her for almost 2 years now. Its so hard to do when she done nothing bad to me to make dislike her i have been trying to move on but always seem to think of the memories of the one i let go i just cant move on when im crazy about somone else. I cant see this goal happening but i do want it to i do want to find somone else and have a fresh start…

well here i am writing about the ex… lets give him a name i will call him MISA. alright.. well i am still a single mom… but everything happened for a reason im much more independent and not afraid of being single… i do still love him… i faced reality that i can not control my heart.. when will it stop… i dunno all i do know is i have a new life.. he is still with the same girl but owell guess he has found love, although i have not i do not daught dat the one for me is out there some where.. who knows maybe he was here all along… god knws what is best for me.. even if i was so angry with him for braking my heart.. for givning me the cards i was givin.. a single mom at 17.. well i am now 20 still young still got all my life in front of me… so im living my life to the fullest… i love my friends.. they have been there every step of the way and i can not lie… i still cry every once in awhile, i get one of those days that i don’t wana get out of bed or just wana cry.. but its normal i can’t keep my emotions locked up for ever so i came here again read a few stories and continue writing mine… so who know wat my next entrie will be.. pray for me and i pray for you…

He isnt my ex he’s my ex, ex but we went out a year ago and we never saw each other but hes really fit and had the most gawjus blue eyes i then dated a few more people after i dumped him but then i broke up with another boy and he asked me out againa few months ago then the same happend. Now iv splitt up with the boy i was with before him for the secon time and hes tellig me he loves me again and saing he really wants to make it work. How can i forget him if i dont know wether hes telling the truth or not. He not usin me for sex cause hes like the only boy iv been out with and i havent had sex with but im wunderin weather he means it or not.

i have to realise that he is sooo not worth it.

edit

just listened to some music
as sad it is….it helps. emotion’s are like waves and the wind.
even talking helps…
imagine…
no humans no music…no reason to feel love or dispear.

been over a year and they are with someone else for some time now too :(
u look up to them soo much, cuz ur so dependant on someone; and u wish u could be someone as great or greater just not to feel so bad.
shit it hurts. go to to mall; anywhere…and what..u think of them and that u might bump into them and see that someone else they are greatly happy withnow :( (that don’t look too difff from u either) :(
u did them wrong but it lasted 3 years. it was a rollercoaster but u striveed to keep that special thing, even though it wasnt meant ot be and u both knew it. Sum things brought u together but it was so easy to screw up too,..maybe it was the timing or placing… :(
u got so dependent on them
and now
they are good without u
they are strong and ur not
u go crzy
u want to heal ur heart….but nothing is doing it and u wait…as the pain continues…and swallows u up when it comes out after this brief ceasefire of emotional pain.
:(
So hard, and not fair. But is it just a lesson or experience in a course in life. its sad but so much in this world is…when u only mean and want good…even though ur not perfect.

its over for a reason… why think about negative emotional vampires and petty tyrants… i want to lose the memories and remember the reasons why their true characters were revealed to me.

I want to forget my ex, but it’s terribly hard when he doesn’t feel like that. Instead, he sticks around to say things like he loves me and misses me, yet it never moves forward. It stays in the same spot, and it kills me. He’s bad for me, and I suffered the whole time we dated because of his mood swings and temper tantrums. It pisses me off so bad because this is the first time in my life I’ve ever wanted to walk away and didn’t walk away because I don’t know how. I love him. We were only together a very intense eight months, and we’ve been broken up for the past six months. How the Hell am I supposed to move on with the ghost of the romance in my face continually?

Hey. I m a 30 yr old gal. IIT, smart..
I was in dep relationship from last 4 yrs. he was my best frd then i started feeling for him.. we are close family frds too, .. he is richer than me.. we use to talk on phn and chat.. it gone for 4 yrs.. my parents were forcing me to g et mary but i was outrgtly saying no to every gud or bad boy.. because he was my top priority.. but i asked him that i think for u and cant live wthut u so he replied i never thgt to marry u .. but we can be gud frds.. we can hav extra maritial affiars…... but i was so imotionally fool i still thgt ok might be rgt now he is nt ready to marry me but later on he iwll be agreed.. i was t oo much loyal for him.. i became against my parents family .. although i dint clear them tht i love this boy but just i was rejectng other guys…. now my parents stoped talking to me properly.. they hardly call me and talk to me.. i stay alone in different city….....My this frd dint met me for 4 yrs.. it all went on phn.. we use to talk daily.. it became an addiction for both of us…....... he kept me in delimma if he loves me or not????
i was confused abt him…... still i did lots of prays and all other things to get marry him. i did all things and the way he wanted me to bee…...... he use to call me according to his requirement and time.. stil i was in so much love wid him..
then after 4 yrs we met 6 times in 6 months and we shared initmate relationship. every time he use to say i hav feelings for u and i want to transfer them. ths it…..... i use to think tht might be he dont wnat to except tht he loves me…..... I did all because i was so much in love wid him. n ot ab le to think any things else.. finally one day whne we did all the physical things he changed.. he stoped calling me daily.. he sue to takl soem other on my time.. if tht gal us eto to call him then he use to disconnect my call and use to talk to her .. still i use to wait for his call.. i was so foolish…............ and never complaint him….. few days back we had seom argument over this.. is aid wht u hav decided for me…... wt u want .. he just said we are frds and we wil be alwys be frds….... I was in shock…...He said we never shared a gal frd boy frd relationaship…......Blady hell…....he came to meet me in my city for 6 times…......we slept together…........ nd still we are not GF Bfs then what I am.. was i a pros or wt? i asked him….... i asked why u cant amrry me.. he said i dont hav any explaination of al ths questions…..so i said then dont talk to me…..... he said not talking is not a solution but i was crying…..... he said ok …. and put the phn…..he never called me back.. since last month its all finish… he deleted me from gtalk and all…... i felt like my life is end here… i just wanted to die and run way some whr.. i felt i lost my biggest battle of my life.. i know he never said tht he iwll marry me but he did all the things wht he wanted.. he was knowing tht how much i was gud for him.. how much i use to love him stil .. if he wished not to marry me then he shld not increase all these things in starting… but no he continuied every thing.. now i feel like just lost every thing of my life…........ my frds took care of mine.. they stoped my self to harm any my self…. now i m not doing all ths things…. i burnt his pic and flushed in pot.. i deleted his mails. and just tryng to forget him…....but inspite of doing my best not able to do that.. i started reading gud books,, meeting gud ppl.. not calling him.. still my mouse wil check his profile.. i wil think abt him always.. just wnt to keep a track whr he is rgt now.. i knwo he dumped me,,,, he used me with his being a gud man image by not commeting verbally.. but he did every things…..now wt tod o. my family is not wid me.. lots of tensions becaus eof me in my family.. i m 30 yrs.. now if i will get other optionas then also they will hav soem kind of probs and i hav to do compromise…......... i m jsut like in hell.. wt to do? hwo to forget him ? or how to get him back??? is there any posibility he will coem back…...... or if no then hwo i can accept any other boy in my life….............

After today i will not talk with him at all. No AIM, no calls, no emails not even a carrier pigeon. If he doesn’t care to be friends with me, he’s not worth my time.