be part of a 43T Success Team

When I first wrote about the goal I wanted to work toward, I wrote this : My ultimate dream is actually getting to a point, financially and otherwise, where I could entertain all of my interests without any of them taking up 8 or more hours of my day. But then I hemmed and hawed, and thought about how that would mean changing careers or jobs or something. So I decided to make fitness my goal.

Well, that turned out to be a lie. The fitness goal, I mean. It wasn’t intentional. It just happened that I read the book by B. Sher, and had some ideas, and tried them out… And realized that a “school life model”, where I schedule my interests/activities/hobbies into regular time slots, works for me very well. I get to entertain (most of) my interests, and although my job is still taking up a lot of my time, I use down time to write (my progress on NoHuWriMo is almost entirely due to lunch-break writing), to do research and to brainstorm ideas for my personal projects. I feel much better knowing that all of my interests will “get a chance”, next week at the latest, when it’s their turn again. Or in a month or 6, thanks to a long-term schedule (actually it’s just a list of things I want to try, in case any non-Virgos are reading this in horror). So in a way, I have found a way to my dream goal.

Considering this goal, how does it fit into a “Success Team”? I’m not quite sure just yet. I might try some formal tracking and report to the team about my progress. But it seems to work better without any tracking. OTOH, if it weren’t for the public reporting, I’d never gotten as far as I have with NoHuWriMo. (Thanks, Calypte!)

Ah well, I’ll post any insights if/when I have them. :)

As usual, my good intentions turned into 100 good intentions and promptly fell over! Yes, I kept up the wii fit every night for a couple of weeks. Then I added cleaning and writing, and studying and brainwashing – all on top of work getting more demanding! – and nope, nothing has happened regularly! I need to keep reminding myself to stay small, stay focused – but also that’s it’s okay to keep starting over.

For now I have another 17 days of committment to NoHuWriMo I intend to stick to; and as much of everything else as I can I suppose – WITHOUT making big, tracking-goal issues out of everything!

Since the hiccup in my relationship almost two weeks ago, that aspect of my life has improved for the better (at least for now, fingers crossed that it may last:) We’re much more relaxed towards each other, which is a good thing already. During (separate) conversations I had with G and with Psy, I learned that one important thing to find out for myself is what I expect a healthy, fulfilling relationship to be. I’ve got some ideas already but it still sounds too vague so more refinement is needed.
Second thing – I’m taking the initiative to re-establish the contact with friends that I haven’t seen a lot lately – or for ages. It’s not evident though, wil they still want to hear me? Better find out, even if the answer is no nothing’s lost… Everyone seems to be pretty busy, half of the appointments I make get postponed. Which makes me feel kind of isolated again. Reality: I just need to build things up again.
Third thing – get to know new people. I’ve set up learn to flirt as a subgoal, as flirting is establishing from a distance whether there is interest in getting to know each other. Next idea: get visiting cards, it’s easier to give a card than to ask for a phone number right away.
Four: get the house ready to invite ppl over: guest room is ready, living room is something already (major cleaning and rearranging done last weekend), now looking for additional/better furniture and decoration.
This is just a start. Good enough for today:)

I’ve been thinking about what I absolutely want to do the most. It’s a big goal… but this is the 43T success team, so it’s permitted to dream big :)

I’ve figured out over the past few weeks that what I’m most in need of is a purpose I can work towards and to actually work towards it, so I can be content with my life.

Right now, I only know that the subjects I’m studying and the goal towards I’ve looked for the past couple of years (or should I say fluctuating goals?) are things I find interesting, but they don’t fill me with the excitement and motivation that I know I can have for things.

When I just permit myself to dream of something I’d like to do, without taking reality into account… I’d love to save the world. Be some kind of mother Teresa. Help others to actualize their potential and be happy. (Yes, it’s projecting something I want to do for myself onto others… :))

The problem is that I’m not convinced that I could ever do anything like it. I’m highly skeptical about my ability to change someone’s life for the better – or rather to help someone to do that him- or herself. But I’ll just ignore that for a moment and look at myself from an outside perspective to figure out what exactly I lack and what steps I will have to take to obtain it.

First of all, I’ll have to get all the messes I’ve accumulated over the years cleaned up:
1. I definitely want to finish university with the subjects I’m doing now, even though right now I don’t think the literature field is what I want to do, ultimately. At least not in the ways that present themselves to me right now. But it’ll be a good thing to be able to fall back on and also it’s more of a confidence booster than giving up shortly before the finishing line.
2. I want to move out, because I think it’s no longer healthy for me to live at home relationship-dynamic-wise. I’ll have to make enough money (and as a steady income, too) to be able to do this.

Secondly, I’ll have to locate an area in which my help would be needed and which excites me. The only way I can do this is to keep my eyes and ears wide open and get more work experience in different areas. But also, for example, to deepen my friendships and try to live my dream by encouraging the people I care about to pursue their happiness. And I should make a list of everything I’ve done so far that I liked doing (not only concerning work).

Thirdly, when I’ve found an area I want to work in, get the qualifications I will need to be able to.

I Could Do Anything if Only I Knew What it Was. Yesterday I did an exercise which involved writing about my perfect job. I also included other details to create my perfect life.

It was interesting that I had to really prod myself to go big. It actually felt a bit unsafe just to commit a dream to paper.

Anyway, my perfect life involves living in a certain type of house (one level, open floor plan, fireplace in the living room & bed room, nice yard) in Bozeman, Montana, I would make a comfortable living by writing and illustrating an acclaimed children’s book series, I would spend four hours each day working in my cozy office (also with a fireplace) and would wake up each morning enthused to get to work, I would spend another four hours exercising, running errands, meditating, hiking, or meeting with a surrogate family of like-minded people, and my evenings would be devoted to quiet time with Mr. Wren.

I am writing this perfect life idea here because it makes me anxious to do it and sets off all sorts of booming voices in my head of the “who do you think you are?” variety.

I also started looking for a class or workshop on children’s literature writing, as this seems like a good starting point for pursuing this dream. I did find a somewhat local group that offers such things, although none are on the schedule at the moment.

My list has gone from 1 to 2 things in the first week, and I’m now doubling it again to 4 – please don’t let me aim for 8 next week! ;)

• NoHuWriMo, which I’ll move to just tracking on that goal.
• wii fit (tracking figures are age difference, minutes)

• read a section of the MMD every day
• tidy something (tiny bit optional!)

So, the week’s tracking commences!
(wii, mmd, tidy)

Day 8 Wed 4: +13 0 / 3.1-3.1 / cupboard
Day 9 Thu 5: ? / 3.4-3.5 / wardrobe
Day 10 Fri 6: ? / 4.1 / ?
Day 11 Sat 7:
Day 12 Sun 8: +8 6 / 4.1.1-4.1.2 / kitchen
Day 13 Mon 9: ? / ? / craft stuff
Day 14 Tue 10: 4.1.3 / ? / recipes

So, how’s everyone doing? Anyone in need of some group motivation, or just a push to stay focused? Speak up! Let us know if you’re succeeding, or how we can help otherwise!!

Allright… (sorry for venting…)
As said earlier I want to improve my social life. See friends regularly.
Last weekend was GF’s insight that she was quite possessive towards me (didn’t like me to see other women, like meet, have lunch with, go visit) and that as a consequence both she and I were missing opportunities in terms of being happy and having a social life worth mentioning. She made a hugely drastic proposal to change this (but at the same time made it clear that she just can’t miss me and that she doesn’t want to break up with me for a night and come back in the morning again) and after some discussion we agreed that we are both free to see anyone – see as in anything’s okay except sexual intercourse. On her request.

Today, one week later – I’ve been working the whole afternoon in her garden and now she’s off to party and have fun with someone else (and possibly sleep with him, as in have-all-the-fun-but-possibly-not-intercourse). Yes I’m overly naive, not that I didn’t know that she was seeing an opportunity with someone particular (even know his first name… or their… she’s got multiple options), but I hadn’t imagined that it would happen this soon...
I’ve got nobody who I could just invite into my bed so this brings me back to the subject of this entry: gotta hurry to find someone, for the sake of my own mental/emotional health and the balance in the relation-ship – or what?

Feedback appreciated – I don’t need compassion but any help to put things in perspective and how to move on from here would be great.
_{First thing – I’m going out on my own tonight.}

Following day 2’s over enthusiastic hip-wiggling, day 3 was a much calmer work through the yoga section (or at least what I’ve unlocked so far!). It was good! And as long as I’m doing something, it all counts, sweat-inducing or not! That said, I finished with a couple of rounds of sports resort basketball, and am slightly surprised my arm doesn’t ache more today! ;)

Quite looking forward to getting my hands on the wii fit plus soon, too!

Otherwise, resisting the urge to throw in some of everything else already, too. Cards want to be made soon, yes; cleaning done and websites started – but I don’t have to ‘goal’ them here right now. Calm. Chill!!

Yesterday’s start on the wii fit left me raring to have another go today. Today found me more than sluggish on the sofa, but heck – can’t back out on just day 2! And, of course, feel much better for having done it!

That said, I don’t think I’m quite at the point of doing 3 sets of aerobics exercises together – especially not when one is the killer super hula-hoop! But I tried some new yoga (new for wii – warrior) and muscle work (lunges) which is all good – ooh, and the boxing I just unlocked was fun! PLUS I went for a walk at lunchtime (isn’t outside gorgeous just now, at least when it stops raining?) !

Very glad to be starting with just one item, though. Yesterday’s review writing left me wondering if a ‘creative block’ should go on, but quite frankly I’d just like to veg now! Once the wii is a full habit, then I’ll chuck more in!