i want to stop cutting

started cutting in 7th grade because of diffrent family problems and all of that. but once i started it seemed that i used every little bad thing that happened to me as an excuse to do it again, because it became so addicting. its like a drug. it distracted me from everything in my life, i started failing school because i never wanted to talk to anyone and i always wanted to be alone. i cut for about 3 years without anyone finding out i have hundreds of scars going up and down my arm, its disgusting. and now i have to make up excuses to people. what am i going to tell my children when im older? my parents finally fund out from a school cousncler that had noticed it one ay at one of out appointments. now im going into 11th grade and now on honor roll, and everytime something isnt going my way, i still sometimes think that i can just cut and it will all go away but the truth is, cutting doesnt make your problems go away it just creates more problems. but sometimes i just wanna feel the pain cause its so addicting but the thing is you just have to say no to yourself, its exacly like drugs. after cutting i moved onto bulimia and inow im trying to fight that disease in a clinic now. you girls need to look out for yourslefs and eachtoher because if i knew that this is what that stuff would do to me i would have never started.

gooodluck with everything

i just want to stop this i dnt knw why i don it i just do i need help ive try to talk to my mum about it but i cnt

i started cutting years ago.probably around five or six.im not proud of it nor the scars left behind.my friend whos like a brother(and we call eachoher brother and sister) tries to help me stop but i dont.most people around me i hide it from cuz they dont uderstand.its an addiction as much as any drug and ive foubnd as time goes by i do it more and more sometimes without much reason just habit.its even put me in the hospital before.right now im trying to recover from anorexia and quit drugs while living with an uncle who hurts me…i have several mental issues and im 14…..its gotten to the point i cut everyday and the worse my day was the more and deeper i cut.i would be dead right now but my brother always stops me…im trying to fix myself somewhat for him and my boyfriend.i dont care bout me.im worthles useless stupid and unwanted.wether i hurt or harm myself or kill myself or die doesnt matter.im not doing it for me im doing it for my bf and brother truth is ive told myself i can start eating stop drugs and stop self gharm whenever i wanted…i just didnt want to..but i knew inside the real reason is im afraid.im afraid to let go afraid to eat afraid to leave the drugs behind and stop hurting myself.im afraid to try…im afraid i cant even live one day eating and without drugs or cutting….when it came right down to it..i found i couldnt just stop when i wanted…i wasnt in control…now i want to be back in control..im scared..but i dont like hurting my f and brother….

the first time i cut was when i was 6 and my parents almost got a divorce i had to get stitches but i stopped until i was 12 and ever since than its been getting worse and worse deeper and deeper i find it hard to cope with anything eles i want to stop but im hooked when im not cutting im high i hate it i feel like i dont have control sigh i even lied to my x which im still in love with about it i feel so guilty sob

i used to cut everyday… i have scars on my shoulder… (theyre my favorites) i have them on my wrists… i have them on my back (a friend did those for me).... on my legs… my ancles… my hands (those i think are pretty)
the reason i stopped cutting is when one of my now ex-boyfriends decided that by cutting me himself, that it would make me stop cutting altogether. he slit my wrist 3 times (i didnt ask him to do it)... when i got home i cut over those cuts… then later that week i was looking at some of my scars and i noticed that some of the ones on my shoulder should have gotten stiches… and then i realized that the ones that my boyfriend had done were close to needing stiches but thankfully they werent that bad… yet. but anyways…when i noticed that they the old ones should have gotten stiches i freaked out, it scared me. i realized then that i had gone too far, i needed to make myself stop whether i really wanted to or not. i did everything i could to take my mind off of cutting. i would talk to people on the internet, call friends to calm down, go out in my woods and think, read, try to watch tv… i did what ever was possible for a 15 year old girl to do. i have tryed before when i first started cutting 3 or 4 years ago… and it never worked. my friends would try to help me stop they would try to make me stop but they finally gave up on me, they didnt want to try anymore cuz them telling me not to stop made me want to do it more, to keep doing it, deeper, longer. the only reason that i have been able to stop and not start up again is because i am finally with the love of my life, he has been there for me through it all… me and the guyt hat cut me, we broke up. i am now with my current boyfriend, whom i plan to be with for the rest of my life. he started out being my best friend. we had our ups and downs, times when he wouldnt talk to me, (those where when i cut the most and worst) when he was going to move to a diff town 3 hours away he wanted to make it less painful for me to move on from friends (this was before we were together) he went so far as to tell me to go slit my wrists and die, he didnt care….. when he told me that i almost did it. i cryed myself to sleep everyday and night for over a month….he got on the computer one day that i was on… he had the nerve to talk to me after all that… and he told me that he didnt have to move anymore his dad got a job here and he didnt have to move…. and he appologized to me for saying that horibble thing to me… he didnt mean it i knew that the whole time,and thats why it hurt me so much, to have the only person youve ever truly love and that loved you in return tell you such a thing it was enough to make me actually almost kill myself but i remembered how much it would hurt all those around me that i loved and i knew that if i had of killed myself he wouldnt be able to stand living with out me and he would have killed himself too.
we still werent perfect again things were still ocward between us after all that, we didnt talk much after he appologized to me… probably 2 months went by, and the semi formal dance came up at our high school. my boyfriend that i had at the time wasnt able to take me so i just went with a group of friends and was bored out of my mind. i dont kno if i told you the name of the person that was my best friend… but his names nick and my names marielle… but anyways to get back to my story… nick saw me at the dance… he didnt come up to me or talk to me…. we just looked stared into each others eyes from a distance and turned from each other… later that night when i got home from the dance, nick called my cell phone… i didnt kno who it was because all he said was long time no talk…. and i didnt want to talk to anyone but my boyfriend at the time so i said cant talk my boyfriends gonna call and i hung up on him…. he told me later that he had called to tell me how beautiful i looked and how he wanted to appologize again and to ask me out (he didnt kno i had a boyfriend till i said so rudely on the phone) he told me that wen he heard me say that he threw the phone across the room and cryed. he had been waiting so long and he only wanted to be with me… and i had a damn boyfriend and so nick couldnt have me… nick waited a few weeks and he called me and i was still with my boyfriend that i had at the time…. he called me and we talked and i told him that if he was serious that he wanted to be with me then i would break up with the boyfriend that i had at the time. he said that he was true to his word he really wanted to be with me and no one else…. and now were together were gonna be together till death do us part. he is the one true reason for why i stopped cutting. if it werent for him loving and caring for me i wouldnt have been able to stop, he is the only person i wanted to stop for, no one else has influenced me as much as him.
i love him for that

I haven’t self injured in almost a year.

AS of today i have not cut or burned in three days. I recently just began cutting. It was all really surreal. But immediatley i was mesmorized and obsessed. I couldnt look at sharp things without wanting to run home and cut. I was doing the ironing the other day when i thought, hmmmm..let me just see how this feels. Damn it…it was even better. it stung all night and thats all i could feel. I couldnt feel the pain or heatrbreak or emotions just the skin burning. very few people know i cut/burn. like 2-3. not even my therapist…hence the honest with the therapist goal:)

This proved to be no easy task, but I got out of that crap for GOOD. I am willing to help ANYONE that asks for help!!!

I need to stop cutting.
Ive been cutting for like 3 years now.
A recent trip to the Emergency room and a few stitches makes me think. Im just to afraid to ask for help.
I cant go to my parents – they could care less.
There isnt anyone at school.
Teachers.. they all hate me.
I have a history there.
I dont have anyone to go to about my problem.
So finnaly. Im going to look here.
I just dont know where to start.
Help?

its been awehile since i have had a panic attack.. and really cut.. i mean.. not counting.. a few days ago where i had a slight encounter with a steak knife. but we all hae our bad days..i guess i can say im better.. but i’ll never know.. because i still have that need to see blood.. im jsut fighting it..
and i dont know how long i can