stop swearing

in the last week, i’ve been terrible – terrible considering the progress i’d been making. i need to re-focus on the triggers. life has been hellish of late; debt is stressing me out. i need to find a way to relax again; the old way – the visualization method – isn’t working anymore.

I moved back to NY and now do Statistics and data coordination for a hospital NICU. How can anyone be mad and swear at babies?! Not me. Swearing has seemed to be come a thing of the past since my life has been happier.

I’ve gotten to where i only swear when I’m angry, repeating something someone else said, or when I’m with my older sister. something about her just makes me slip cuss words in just about every sentence (not in anger of course)

I’m getting there, I think once I stop swearing when I’m angry and with Katie, I’ll call this done, but it’s going to be hard because I usually don’t realize I’m using the f-word when I get pissed.

freaking pointless

it actually makes me look like a fool that’s trying to be ‘one of the lads’ so i think i’ll f@&king stop now…..oh s&t.

i was cruising through yesterday; not one profanity came out of my mouth all day – even the kids were impressed with me. and then, my best friend called. as the conversation geared toward a certain topic, my mouth just went right into the gutter.

it seems that whether it’s talking to, or about my boyfriend, my mood shifts and the four letter words start flying.

i’m going to monitor myself closely today and try to get a handle on this. i’ve been doing so well otherwise, i just need a little bit more control of my emotions.

i’m going to give myself a little pat on the back. i’m doing really good at this – better everyday. the realization of finally coming out of my depression is a factor; i’m happier – even with all the negativity still in my life, i’m a happier person and that’s helped me with this goal.

i’m giving myself a little while longer to feel comfortable with this, and i’m checking it off my list!

I really want to stop. Fundamentally I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with it as it is just language really, and you can be more offensive to people without even having to swear, but I don’t think it’s that polite and I have a young boy and I don’t want his first words to be words we tell him to stop saying, and it’s hypocritical to tell him not to say things if we keep on saying them, and also he’ll get kicked out of classes at school if he’s swearing all the time because he doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with it, and then his education, and from that his future, will suffer.

I think I swear way too much for a mom. I try not to around my son, but when I do swear in front of him, it’s usually because I am frustrated with him. This also has to do with my lack of patience, which I am trying to work on. I my swearing is definately associated with that.

I’m not 100% sworn to never swear ever, but I’ve gotten a lot more conscious of what I say. How you speak says something about you, and frankly, my tone of voice says enough about how I’m feeling to make the curse words unnecessary.